IL Chianti--Lost in Translation
Lost in Translation
Once I week, I suspend all my draconian dietary restrictions and go for a huge, splurging meal with my visiting mother. Tonight we decided to try something new: a vaunted Japanese-Italian restaurant called "Il Chianti" which has outposts in both LA and Japan. It gets consistently rave reviews, so we figured we'd be in for a treat. It turns out that there hospitality team was trained at the Monty Python Culinary Institute. Please see below. Despite the madcap quality of the service, the food was not bad.
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Backstory: I order a dish called "Midnight Spaghetti" described on the large menu as "Spaghetti with Spicy Garlic Tomato Sauce"
A huge bowl of pasta arrives with a tomato sauce, thin spaghetti and thumb-sized bits of what seems like fishy white eraser meat.
Actual unedited dialogue:
SAM: "Excuse me, I ordered the Midnight Spaghetti and this is what came."
Japanese Waitress: "Yes, that's it. Midnight Spaghetti."
SAM: "Okay, but what's this fishy white eraser meat?"
Japanese Waitress: "Oh that? The white stuff? (with existential nonchalance) That's squid."
SAM: (less existentially nonchalant) "Squid? But the menu says "spicy garlic tomato sauce"
Japanese Waitress: (blankly) "Yes. That's what you ordered."
SAM: "But what about the squid part?"
Japanese Waitress: (cheerily, as if talking to her pet dog about his favorite treats) "Oh, it comes with squid too."
SAM: "HUH?"
Japanese Waitress: "We just didn't mention it on the menu."
SAM: (laughing) "I see. You're trying to keep the actual ingredients of your dishes a secret?"
Japanese Waitress: (quizzical stare)
SAM: "You know, in most restaurants, the menu accurately describes what actually shows up at the table."
Japanese Waitress: "We have to change it. I can bring you another dish if you'd like."
SAM: (Pointing to a pasta dish described as "Clam with white wine and garlic sauce.") "How about this one?"
Japanese Waitress: "That one??" (with shock in her voice and then with disbelief) "That's the same as the one you ordered."
SAM: "No, I ordered 'spicy tomato, garlic sauce'."
Japanese Waitress: "Yes, its the same."
SAM: "But there's no tomato with the clam."
Japanese Waitress: "Actually, there is. Their both the same and that one there too (pointing to a third non-option) that's the same...all three are the same.
SAM: "There are three separate menu items that identical?"
Japanese Waitress: "Yes. Do you like Octopus?"
SAM: "NO! Why? Is that in there too?"
Japanese Waitress: "Yes, and some shrimp."
SAM: "But the menu doesn't say anything about that?"
Japanese Waitress: "Yes, we have to change it. We just haven't gotten around to it."
SAM: "Okay, how about this one instead? (I point to "Basilico" which has no further description)
Japanese Waitress: "Oh, that one? That has mushroom, green pepper and onion."
SAM: "What about basil?"
Japanese Waitress: "Oh its there...except its dried."
SAM: "How does anyone know what to order?"
Japanese Waitress: "Oh, they just know, they just know."
Il Chianti
24503 Narbonne Ave
Lomita, CA 90717
(310) 325-5000
By SecretAsianMan
on Sep 8, 2008 02:53 PM
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Ok, that's really funny. But how was the food? What did you end up being served? I originally loved Il Chianti, but the last meal I had there was just ok. You said the food was excelent. I'm curious what you finally got.
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Hi Rizza,
Thanks for your note. What I finally got was a delicious, customized dish of Linguine Vongole...which they also managed to sneak mystery ingredients into, despite a clear description of what I wanted. I felt like they were either (a) desperately overachieving, or (b) desperately trying to please.
The taste wasn't too bad.
We really liked the pizza and the pasta special. However, I have to say the fishy eraser meat pasta wasn't that great. Just OK as you say.
SAM
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"Japanese Waitress: "We just didn't mention it on the menu."
SAM: (laughing) "I see. You're trying to keep the actual ingredients of your dishes a secret?"
Japanese Waitress: (quizzical stare)
SAM: "You know, in most restaurants, the menu accurately describes what actually shows up at the table.""
Proof that sarcasm doesn't work across a language/culture barrier....
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Absolutely.
Nuance wasn't on the menu.
^_^
SAM
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I think it simply shows that when you're obviously dealing with the real life folks who inspired Fawlty Towers then sarcasm is no defense against the "Farce Arts."
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Right! Funny!
What was even funnier was how deadpan the waitress was, not even realizing the humor of the situation. She was unflappable.
I would go back just to experience that all over again. It was a great laugh.
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Fawlty Waitress: "So, the linguini with clams then?"
SAM: "Right"
Dissolve to dish being placed in front of SAM
SAM: "But you said it had it had clams"
Fawlty Waitress: "No I didn't"
and on for a few more minutes of "Who's on First" until SAM just gives up and eats whatever is served to him
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