HOME > Chowhound > General Topics >

when the bread doesn't line up...

mark Jun 20, 2008 04:53 AM

ok, ridiculously inane topic, but here goes:

i stop at the company cafeteria a few times each week to grab a breakfast sandwich. there are 2 women who work the grill/prepare food. one of them consistently puts my sandwich together with the slices of bread oriented in different directions. i cannot eat it.

before i can eat that sandwich, i have to realign the bread. i don't even understand how she can make it that way; it's an affront to me that it's not symmetrical, and disturbing to me that it doesn't seem to bother her at all. it's like walking around with one shoe tied tighter than the other; no balance. yes, i'm well aware that i'm overly fastidious.

don't get me wrong, i understand this is a very little thing, and matters only to me. it's a very simple thing for me to rotate one piece of toast. i would never give her any grief over it, and i tip her the same as i do the one who makes 'em right.

any other fans of the symmetrical sandwich out there?

  1. Click to Upload a photo (10 MB limit)
  1. s
    Sean RE: mark Jun 20, 2008 05:21 AM

    Yes, with burgers. My wife will get halfway through a burger and the the top part of the bun is much larger than the bottom and it irritates me, I don't know why. She apparently is itting it at an angle but it drives me batty ...

    1. Davwud RE: mark Jun 20, 2008 05:38 AM

      OMG, that's hilarious. Who would assemble a sandwich with the bread facing in opposite directions??
      It would drive me up the wall!!!

      Years ago we went to this burger joint and we had a beer each with our burgers. The elderly bartender served us our beers, in bottle, cap on, laying on their sides. To this day it still baffles me why he laid them down on their sides.


      1 Reply
      1. re: Davwud
        dolores RE: Davwud Jun 20, 2008 05:41 AM

        Opposite directions? As an almost OCD, that would drive me batty.

        Then again, I'm jealous of the fact that you have real food at a real cafeteria where you work. Lucky you!

      2. Bat Guano RE: mark Jun 20, 2008 09:09 AM

        She's probably doing it intentionally. I'd take it personally if I were you ; )

        Seriously, it would probably bemuse me for a couple of seconds, then I'd get over it and eat the sandwich the way it was. Always open to new experiences, I am!

        6 Replies
        1. re: Bat Guano
          mark RE: Bat Guano Jun 20, 2008 10:06 AM

          oh, believe me, i do! i entertained various revenge fantasies, all neatly symmetrical, for the first month or 2 this went on ;)

          i once ate the sandwich as is. have to admit that the flavor was not affected. but, i still didn't feel right about it and didn't enjoy it.

          the same person sometimes works the cash register, too. the sandwich costs $2.24. hand her a $20 and you'll get 3 $5s, 2 $1s and change. no 2 consecutive bills will be oriented in the same direction - drives me nearly as batty, in a trivial way, as the bread thing.

          1. re: mark
            Catskillgirl RE: mark Jun 20, 2008 12:49 PM

            I think the $$ not being aligned would bother me almost more than the bread. And the bread would bother me. Not to the extent that I would ever mention it, but I would be compelled to fix the bread before eating it.

            At my bakery some of the counter clerks hand over their cash drawers with the bills all upside down, corners folded, and facing in different directions. They do this once. After that I sit them down and show them how I like it done. *G* It just makes me crazy, and counting stacks of bills takes a lot longer when I have to stop, smooth, uncrumple and re-align bills along the way!

            1. re: Catskillgirl
              dolores RE: Catskillgirl Jun 20, 2008 12:55 PM

              "at my bakery"

              Now there's a Willie Wonka phrase!

              I so agree on bills facing the same way, and highest to lowest in a wallet.

              1. re: dolores
                Catskillgirl RE: dolores Jun 20, 2008 01:02 PM

                LOL! It's not actually my bakery at all, but I seem to spend most waking moments here, and feel very proprietary towards it. *G* I have two bosses who co-own the bakery - one is very rarely here (he runs a few other businesses) and one who will do anything to not have to sit at his desk for more than a few minutes at a time. So a lot falls on me, and I love it! I manage the overall operations and micro-manage the wholesale business. In other words I tell the bakers what to bake each day.

                I'm still trying to decide which irks me more, the bills not being in order or the bread not matching up. Both don't contribute to my sense of well-being, that's for sure.

                1. re: Catskillgirl
                  phofiend RE: Catskillgirl Jun 21, 2008 12:39 PM

                  What does *G* mean?

                  1. re: phofiend
                    Catskillgirl RE: phofiend Jun 21, 2008 02:06 PM

                    Grin. Like a silly smiley-face but easier for me to remember. :-)

        2. manraysky RE: mark Jun 20, 2008 10:16 AM

          That's really funny. I used to make sandwiches in work cafeteria, and when the bread didn't line up I felt really weird about it. If I accidently put one slice the wrong way I would apologize. Usually people thought it was strange that I would mention it, but it mattered to me!

          15 Replies
          1. re: manraysky
            Cheflambo RE: manraysky Jun 20, 2008 10:35 AM

            This reminds me of the little children I cared for as an au pair. At lunch one day I made sandwiches for them and cut them the "wrong" way. The kids refused to eat them. The 8-year-old said it would not "taste right". I ate the "bad" sandwiches myself, and made more for the the "little darlings", following their precise cutting directions. .

            Next lunch? One of the kids wanted her sandwich cut "my" way, and then told me it tasted better that way. Go figure.....

            1. re: Cheflambo
              mark RE: Cheflambo Jun 20, 2008 12:05 PM

              oh, as a kid i would have said the same. cut in half, top to bottom - no problem. diagonal, from top left to bottom right - no problem. diagonal the other way - not so much, but i'd eat it after making my preference known. in half from side to side (why would anyone cut a sandwich that way anyway) - i wouldn't have eaten it because it wouldn't taste right.

              1. re: Cheflambo
                dolores RE: Cheflambo Jun 20, 2008 12:42 PM

                Which was your way? Diagonal or horizontal?

                I find the diagonal hoi polloi and pretentious. Horizontal is a blue collar cut, all the way.

                1. re: dolores
                  kmcarr RE: dolores Jun 22, 2008 11:56 AM

                  Have you ever eaten at a Friendly's Restaurant/Ice Cream Parlour? I worked at one while in high school a long (I'm talking really long) time ago. Back then the burgers were square and served on toasted sandwich bread. They were cut on a "bias"; not straight top to bottom, not diagonally, about halfway in between these. Would this be bourgeoisie?

                  1. re: dolores
                    hill food RE: dolores Jun 22, 2008 01:42 PM

                    no, no, no, if it's going to be cut rectilinear it has to be vertical so both halves are somewhat symmetrical. sheesh.

                    1. re: hill food
                      kmcarr RE: hill food Jun 23, 2008 09:41 AM

                      Hill, the halves were symmetrical (or were at least supposed to be if done properly). If one half was rotated 180° around an imaginary axis through the face of the sandwich it would align perfectly with the other half. I should also note that type of bread we used did not have the traditional "domed top", it was essentially square. (Sorry Hill, I thought you were responding to mine, not Dolores.)

                      1. re: kmcarr
                        hill food RE: kmcarr Jun 23, 2008 03:07 PM

                        in the end it doesn't matter - we're all a bunch of basket cases. It's no wonder my father always made fun of me at the dinner table.

                    2. re: dolores
                      sleepycat RE: dolores Jun 25, 2008 01:20 PM

                      LOL that's funny. When I was firsting dating my hubby I made sandwiches for both of us. Without asking he picked up the horizontal cut. When I asked him how come he picked that one up he said the diagonal cut was a princess cut and it was probably for me.

                    3. re: Cheflambo
                      JasmineG RE: Cheflambo Jun 22, 2008 02:29 PM

                      In college, there was a girl who worked at the student center cafe who always asked how you liked your grilled cheese sandwich cut. Some people though it it was weird, but I loved it, because to me, grilled cheese sandwiches HAVE to be cut diagonally, it just doesn't taste as good otherwise!

                      1. re: JasmineG
                        dolores RE: JasmineG Jun 22, 2008 02:32 PM

                        Realllly, JasmineG? How funny. I today had a grilled cheese from a diner that is closing, sad to say, and just realized it was cut in half, as I like it.

                        *sigh* My last meal from this diner, and they knew how I liked my sandwich cut!

                        hill food, how is a sandwich cut in half not symmetrical? I am being dense, I guess.

                        1. re: dolores
                          hill food RE: dolores Jun 23, 2008 03:54 AM

                          Dolores: it's in the way the top of the loaf arches, the sides have that sort of dimple and the bottom is flat. So if not cut diagonal then cut from North to South so to speak.

                          you're not being dense, I'm being needlessly fussy.

                        2. re: JasmineG
                          chef chicklet RE: JasmineG Jun 22, 2008 03:01 PM

                          I think I was that girl! nah just kidding, I love my sandwiches cut on the diagonal and in quarters. My sons in their 20s always have their that way too because of me and I learned this from my mother. I stopped cutting everyones crust off when bread prices began to "rise."

                          I am also one of those that takes the bread from inside the loaf, where its freshest, and I've watched, my kids and husband do it too!

                          1. re: chef chicklet
                            dolores RE: chef chicklet Jun 23, 2008 04:49 AM

                            hill food, I 'think' I understand. I've cut cakes that didn't look perfect (and eaten the miscreants outcasts of course) in order to get a symmetrical look.

                            chef chicklet, I do that. I always eat the sad little end pieces, not wanting to hurt their feelings, but I use them as bookends until all the middle pieces have been dispatched.

                            1. re: dolores
                              hill food RE: dolores Jun 23, 2008 05:00 AM

                              I should clarify, when cut on the horizontal you get the arched side on one piece and flat on the other, but when cut vertically two dimpled sided pieces.

                              again my OCD.

                              1. re: dolores
                                chef chicklet RE: dolores Jun 23, 2008 08:04 AM

                                me too, I do eat them, I actually like them toasted!

                      2. meatn3 RE: mark Jun 20, 2008 11:45 AM

                        Yes, I'm anal in this way too. I take it further - any spread or topping needs to be evenly dispersed over the sandwich. A splotch of mustard just in the center, cheese melted on just one side of a burger - makes me feel unsettled! Fortunately I can get over myself and deal with it with a minimum of fuss.

                        Glad to know I'm not alone!

                        14 Replies
                        1. re: meatn3
                          mark RE: meatn3 Jun 20, 2008 12:08 PM

                          i totally agree. fortunately, i'm not so far gone that i'll "check under the hood" to see if everything's lined up right. but the bread. argh, it just stares me in the face, mocking me...

                          1. re: mark
                            danhole RE: mark Jun 20, 2008 02:16 PM

                            Maybe we should start a new 12 step group for FAN's (Food anal neurotics!) I could be the founder. I hate my bread not to be aligned just so, I do check "under the hood" to make sure the condiments are spread evenly, hate the cheese sloppy on more one side than the other, and do not give me a grilled sandwich where the bread is not perfectly matched! Whew! I feel better just getting it out there.

                            1. re: danhole
                              Davwud RE: danhole Jun 20, 2008 02:26 PM

                              I have to have two consecutive slices. If they had pieces removed from in between them and don't match exactly, I won't use them

                              What kinda weirdo's are we??


                              1. re: Davwud
                                danhole RE: Davwud Jun 21, 2008 12:14 PM

                                We are food obsessed Chowhound weirdos, don'tcha know? I forgot about that pet peeve. Yup, 2 consecutive slices.

                                1. re: danhole
                                  TampaAurora RE: danhole Jun 21, 2008 04:35 PM

                                  I do feel better about myself knowing that I am not alone in my idiosyncries!

                                  1. re: danhole
                                    goodhealthgourmet RE: danhole Jun 22, 2008 12:40 PM

                                    i'm with danhole on all points. so help me if the slices aren't consecutive or are misaligned, or if the filling is uneven. i'll deconstruct the entire mess and redistribute everything appropriately before eating, even trimming the bread if i have to.

                                    i'm notoriously OCD about my food...my friends took to calling me "sally" [after meg ryan's character in when harry met sally]...and then decided i was much crazier than she was. now they just warn any poor, unsuspecting server that he or she is in for a treat when i order.

                                    i personally don't think i'm that difficult...as sally said in the movie, "i just like it the way i like it."


                                    1. re: goodhealthgourmet
                                      miss_bennet RE: goodhealthgourmet Jun 22, 2008 01:57 PM

                                      And what's Harry's response to that?

                                      Don't worry; I'm "high maintenance," too. But I like my pie heated with plain cream, not whipped or ice; or not at all.

                                      1. re: miss_bennet
                                        goodhealthgourmet RE: miss_bennet Jun 22, 2008 03:13 PM

                                        touché :)

                                        i take mine heated with vanilla on the side...and i allow the ice cream to soften/melt until it reaches the proper consistency.

                                        1. re: goodhealthgourmet
                                          dolores RE: goodhealthgourmet Jun 23, 2008 04:52 AM

                                          goodhealth, I hate my ice cream on my pie. Why would I subject it to sudden and irreparable loss from being on a hot pie? On the side, always. Same with whipped cream. Mushy, liquidy whipped cream as a result of meeting hot pie? Bah.

                                          Same with hot fudge. Who in their right mind is going to allow very hot fudge to melt their VERY expensive 'no longer sold in real half gallon' ice cream to be lost to the vagaries of temperature? Not I.

                                          On the side, thank you.

                                          1. re: dolores
                                            Davwud RE: dolores Jun 23, 2008 06:13 AM

                                            Both Mrs. Sippi and my mom stick their ice cream in the nuculator for a few seconds to soften.


                                  2. re: Davwud
                                    morwen RE: Davwud Jun 27, 2008 06:14 AM

                                    I not only have to have 2 consecutive slices but the sides that are facing each other must be the interior sides when the sandwich is made. Sounds extremely anal but when I'm cutting from a loaf and flip one slice, the edges and widths of the slices are out of line and the contents is more likely to slide, slip or, like the uneven bun around the burger problem another poster describes, I'll end up with a last bite with only a piece of bread on one side. sssshhhh, don't tell - no one's noticed yet that I do this! ; )

                                    1. re: morwen
                                      Davwud RE: morwen Jun 27, 2008 01:49 PM

                                      "I not only have to have 2 consecutive slices but the sides that are facing each other must be the interior sides when the sandwich is made."

                                      Well duh!! LOL There's no way I'd not open them like a book and put the filling in the middle. It's just wrong.


                                      1. re: Davwud
                                        Catskillgirl RE: Davwud Jun 27, 2008 02:50 PM

                                        Sadly, I've seen this done wrong. How can people be so insensitive? So unfeeling? It is indeed wrong. There's a right way to use bread and a wrong way.

                                        1. re: Catskillgirl
                                          Davwud RE: Catskillgirl Jun 27, 2008 02:59 PM

                                          It's just another sign of the decline of civilization. Improperly assembled sandwiches, dogs and cats living together, MASS HYSTERIA!!!


                            2. k
                              kittyfood RE: mark Jun 21, 2008 05:00 PM

                              It sounds as if she doesn't cut the sandwich in half for you, because if she did it would be a lot trickier to re-orient the bread, and if she put the other slice on upside down you would never get it right! I'm with you, this would annoy me as well.

                              1 Reply
                              1. re: kittyfood
                                miss_bennet RE: kittyfood Jun 22, 2008 02:02 PM

                                Seriously, if the bread were mis-aligned AND the sandwich was cut in this helter-skelter manner, I would eat the sandwich, but not return to the eatery. Apparently that's how OCD I am.

                              2. m
                                Missyme RE: mark Jun 21, 2008 07:38 PM

                                OK, I have to admit to my share of idiosyncrasies, too. But since the women who prepare the food are doing it fresh, right in front of you, why don't you ask them (nicely and with a smile, of course) to ask them to align the bread in a way that makes you comfortable?

                                1 Reply
                                1. re: Missyme
                                  hill food RE: Missyme Jun 23, 2008 04:56 AM

                                  but Missyme, that would require talking to someone...

                                2. l
                                  LStaff RE: mark Jun 22, 2008 08:27 AM

                                  One thing I've realized over the years is if you want a well made sandwich, you have to make it yourself. Most of the people who make sandwiches either don't have a clue what it takes to make a good sandwich or just don't care. When I worked in northern NJ, all of the delis would put the onions on the opposite side of the meat from the lettuce and tomatos. So they would layer it in this order : bread, condiment, onion, meat/cheese, tomato, lettuce, condiment, bread instead of: bread, condiment, meat/cheese, onion, tomato, lettuce, condiment, bread which is how it should be imo. I asked one of the sandwich makers if she could make mine with the onions tomato and lettuce all together. After a few minutes of perplexed look on her face and me trying to explain what I meant, I ended up with a sub that was meat on one end of the sub and vegetables on the other end - I guess she showed me.

                                  Another pet peeve of mine is when you get a sub with some fresh roasted meat, and they make a boat out of the sub roll, then place all the contents in the boat kind of perpendicular to the roll - how do you pick that up, get your mouth around it, and eat it without spilling all the contents out?

                                  And my biggest pet peeve of all sandwich makers (and bagel preparers) is the inability to cut the sandwich all the way through, so when you get it you have to pull the thing apart, and inevitably, all the contents spill out and makes a huge mess - epecially when you're trying to eat while driving.

                                  10 Replies
                                  1. re: LStaff
                                    Cheflambo RE: LStaff Jun 22, 2008 08:35 AM

                                    If you eat while driving, I can only imagine what your car smells like.

                                    1. re: LStaff
                                      Catskillgirl RE: LStaff Jun 22, 2008 08:41 AM

                                      You just hit my biggest nerve with the sandwich not cut all the way through part! The onions can be anywhere on my sandwich, I don't really mind. But it MUST be cut all the way through! Makes me crazy when it's not.

                                      In my old age I now realize why deli people don't slice things all the way through. They prepare the bagel or sandwich on a slice of wrapping, then cut, then wrap. If they cut all the way through all of the layers with a sharp knife (I hope) they'll often cut the wrapping as well, and need to spend time doubling it. In a busy shop that can really slow things down. So while I realize why it happens I still really, really hate it!

                                      1. re: Catskillgirl
                                        starlady RE: Catskillgirl Jun 22, 2008 02:54 PM

                                        I had a bagel shop that I used to LOVE, they would make my bagel-wich excatly the way I liked it, wrap it in one layer of paper, cut it ALL the way thru and then wrap it in another layer. I was there so often for the same thing I didn't have to tell them what my order was going to be so we would just chat. They knew I liked to wander while outside while eating and they did this so I wouldn't get messy.
                                        I still go back when I visit that city and while they no longer know me (it's been 4 years) they still do what I ask :)

                                        1. re: starlady
                                          jfood RE: starlady Jun 22, 2008 03:14 PM

                                          when jfood makes a bagel-wich at home he layers the stuf on the bottom half then slices the top half od the bagel off-sandwich. Then he places the two top pieces on the stuff. The knife meets the stuff without getting squished when you try to cut through the top half. He cuts on a cutting board and makes sure it goes allthe way through.

                                          Now if anyone has an answer to how do you NOT get the egg salald to come out the sies of a bagel sandwich that would be nice.

                                          1. re: jfood
                                            goodhealthgourmet RE: jfood Jun 22, 2008 03:32 PM

                                            "Now if anyone has an answer to how do you NOT get the egg salald to come out the sies of a bagel sandwich that would be nice."
                                            as we discussed in another thread...scoop it! egg salad gets tucked into the hollows.

                                            1. re: jfood
                                              Caroline1 RE: jfood Jun 22, 2008 06:24 PM

                                              Jay, you're confounding me... Are you talking "sandwich," as in half a bagel on the bottom, egg salad in the middle, half a bagel on top sandwich? If that's the case, there ain't no way to stop anything -- including conrete! -- from squishing out of the sides! The ONLY way I have ever eaten (or heard of) a bagel sandwich is open faced. And then my only problem is that something like egg salad MIGHT fall through the hole in the middle, but a dab of cream cheese always seals that off.

                                              1. re: Caroline1
                                                jfood RE: Caroline1 Jun 23, 2008 06:32 AM


                                                Yes to your question on bagel-eggsalad-bagel for the sandwich. The only thing that seems to get a passing grade is to turn the bagel 90-degrees so the "cut" is vertical.

                                                Open face is the preferred method but if the correct amount of egg salad is on top of the half-bagel there is that tendency to sorta, how does jfood say this nicely, get some of the egg salad on the tip of your nose when you bite through. And if there is a slice of tomato, the darned thing "arches" and you get that on the tip of your nose. BTW - jfood has a small nose so that is not the reason.

                                                Interesting idea on the cream cheese for the hole. Never thought of that one. Thanks

                                              2. re: jfood
                                                chef chicklet RE: jfood Jun 23, 2008 08:10 AM

                                                Love egg salad on a bagel. If you're not opposed, try putting the scoop of egg salad on a piece of lettuce, then the egg salad goest through the top which is nice little treat for the eater. The lettuce sort of slows it down.

                                                For breakfast, toasted plain bagel, no mayonnaise ( there's enough in the salad) and like most others eat it open faced. But the lettuce works fairly well for me.

                                            2. re: Catskillgirl
                                              dolores RE: Catskillgirl Jun 23, 2008 04:55 AM

                                              Hubby makes his sandwich, for work, on a plate. Doesn't cut it. But makes it on a plate. Then wraps it in foil.

                                              At times I make it for him. I make it already on the foil, to save time. I don't cut it.

                                              Go figure.

                                              Then again, he drives 55 in a 55 mph zone too.

                                              Go figure.

                                              1. re: dolores
                                                Davwud RE: dolores Jun 23, 2008 06:13 AM

                                                That's just lunacy.


                                          2. c
                                            CPunches RE: mark Jun 22, 2008 12:39 PM

                                            yes! this is a big pet peeve of mine. i also eat things in twos, because i think its 'just the right amount of flavor' haha! i have a lot of eating quirks. but bread not lining up is a big issue!

                                            1. hill food RE: mark Jun 22, 2008 01:51 PM

                                              I wonder why it really needs to be cut at all, I can see a grilled cheese or a tuna salad on a loaf slice, but it seems like all the cheap carryout delis that serve burgers insist on cutting those in half as well. if you like to hold it in the wrapping to keep from dripping on your keyboard after scuttling back to work, two halves just create a huge mess even if you re-wrap. and don't get me started on places that insist on placing bacon in a cross pattern, that just means I have to nibble plain bacon (no real complaint there) and the rest is half bacon free. yes, I do reconstruct that. I'd rather get all three BL & T flavors in each bite.

                                              14 Replies
                                              1. re: hill food
                                                Caroline1 RE: hill food Jun 22, 2008 03:25 PM

                                                I absolutely refuse burgers that have been cut in half. If there;s anything that falls apart and lands in your lap it's trying to eat half a burger!

                                                As for matched sandwiches, the absolute worst, most angst ridden sandwich I have ever had in my life was at a girlfriend's house when I was in about the fifth grade. Her mother made ham sandwiches for us for lunch and ran out of white bread.... My sandwich was not only misaligned, it was one white square sandwich slice and one oval rye slice! I had a terrible time chewing and swallowing. Had to wash every bite down with milk. But also felt I had to "behave" or I would make a bad impression. Never ever accepted a food invitation -- any kind of food! -- at that friends house again! <sigh> Childhood traumas that last a lifetime.

                                                With a new loaf of bread, I reach under the heel and the next slice to get two slices for a sandwich or toast or whatever. Then when there is only one slice and one heel at the other end, the two slices usually get tossed, but the heels get toasted. How strange is that? "Half loafs" of rye drive me nuts! But I do like rye bread...

                                                1. re: Caroline1
                                                  danhole RE: Caroline1 Jun 23, 2008 07:31 AM


                                                  That sandwich is a traumatic memory! I would rather have 2 half sandwiches than have 2 different types of bread. I commend you for actually choking it down! Not sure I could have.

                                                  I also reach into the loaf to get "fresher" slices, but I won't eat the heels. My DH eats those.

                                                  1. re: danhole
                                                    Caroline1 RE: danhole Jun 23, 2008 09:39 AM

                                                    Toasted heels sort of curl up around the edges, toast crunchier than a regular slice of bread, so they're great for holding a whole bunch of egg salad or PB&J. For breakfast, I strongly prefer PB and orange marmalade, and if I have a really dense slice of whole wheat breat to toast, that's a great breakfast! Oh, and butter. Real butter under the peanut butter. It ain't diet food! '-)

                                                  2. re: Caroline1
                                                    Catskillgirl RE: Caroline1 Jun 23, 2008 11:03 AM

                                                    "the absolute worst, most angst ridden sandwich "

                                                    How I love this site! I feel your pain. And as Ms. Hole replied, I would rather have made 2 half-sandwiches out of the mis-matched bread. You were such a good guest to not run screaming into the street.

                                                    1. re: Catskillgirl
                                                      Caroline1 RE: Catskillgirl Jun 23, 2008 02:28 PM

                                                      You guys are making me feel like maybe I wasn't such weird kid after all. I absolutely hated eating at anyone else's house. Well, there were two exceptiopns. One best friend was Japanese, and I loved eating at her house. We got to eat with STICKS!!! And the other girlfriend was German, and we got to eat lots of whipped cream and streudel and even help her grandmother stretch streudel dough on the dining room table! But all the rest of the kids I knew had moms who cooked weird stuff and made terrible crooked sandwiches and served raw bell peppers that gave me asthma or would fix liver or menudo for supper when I was invited to spend the night. Childhood was just one stream of senseless traumas after another! '-)

                                                  3. re: hill food
                                                    sasha1 RE: hill food Jun 24, 2008 04:35 PM

                                                    Speaking of uneven distributions of bacon, how about people who put a softball of deli meat in the center of your sandwich, and leave the perimeter bare, just two lonely pieces of bread facing each other? That drives me up a wall. I have to redistribute it and even it out before I can eat it. How hard is this?

                                                    1. re: sasha1
                                                      mrbozo RE: sasha1 Jun 24, 2008 04:45 PM

                                                      It seems a lot of work to me. Eat vertical and savour the undulating terrain. So what if it drips down your chin, that's why God invented napkins and gave us reflexes.

                                                      1. re: mrbozo
                                                        sasha1 RE: mrbozo Jun 24, 2008 05:11 PM

                                                        It's not about the drippage. I don't like getting a mouthful of just bread... That's why I must dissect and distribute before eating.

                                                        1. re: sasha1
                                                          mrbozo RE: sasha1 Jun 24, 2008 05:23 PM

                                                          If the bread is worthy I don't mind. Besides it can be used to sop up drippings on the plate, or the chin (admittedly uncouth but much tastier than a napkin).

                                                          To me insistence on uniformity of taste and texture suggests blandness and a need for control. Tasting different flavours and textures in a dish is for me the variety that makes food a pleasure rather than a consumer experience.

                                                          1. re: mrbozo
                                                            Davwud RE: mrbozo Jun 24, 2008 06:39 PM

                                                            I agree with both sides. Varying tastes and textures is great. I like lumps in my mashed potatoes and I don't worry about uniformity in my chopped onions or bell peppers. Some will dissolve and some will still have some crunch. I like it like that.

                                                            But the deli meat DOES need to be redistributed.

                                                            Sorry MB


                                                            1. re: Davwud
                                                              sasha1 RE: Davwud Jun 24, 2008 10:22 PM

                                                              Thanks for backing me here! I am a control freak too mrbozo - how did you guess :) But seriously. Not every bite needs to have equal amounts of everything, but a sandwich that is 20% just a loaf of bread - it doesn't matter how good the bread is...

                                                              1. re: Davwud
                                                                danhole RE: Davwud Jun 25, 2008 07:33 AM

                                                                Ever since reading this thread I have realized that I am really obsessive about my sandwiches! A lump of meat in the middle of the bread also drives me batty! It DOES need to be rearranged. As far as using the bread to sop up whatever is dripping off your chin . . . what the heck are you eating? Not being rude, just curious. Even if I get a french dip I want the meat even and I dunk the sandwich in the au jus. I don't eat a lot of sandwiches that drip. LOL!

                                                                1. re: danhole
                                                                  mrbozo RE: danhole Jun 25, 2008 03:35 PM

                                                                  The dripping and dribbling comes from a fully loaded Montreal smoked meat sandwich. Freshly steamed and medium fat if you please.

                                                        2. re: sasha1
                                                          hill food RE: sasha1 Jun 25, 2008 01:44 AM

                                                          "Speaking of uneven distributions of bacon, how about people who put a softball of deli meat in the center of your sandwich"

                                                          then never hit the deli at Levi Plaza in SF - they pride themselves on a huge pile of meat on the sandwich which is ok for pastrami, but terrible for a BLT - and I love bacon.

                                                      2. mamaciita RE: mark Jun 22, 2008 08:17 PM

                                                        (laughs. laughs some more.)

                                                        I make lots of sandwiches for my kids' lunches.

                                                        I've developed the habit of removing two consecutive slices and opening them bookwise, which allows me to apply the filling to the sides facing up and then close the sandwich so that the bread slices match up precisely.

                                                        That way, there's less likelihood of my getting PB and J or Mayo or Benedictine on my hands or on the inside of the Ziploc.

                                                        Looks like I'm in good company. ; )

                                                        1. Davwud RE: mark Jun 23, 2008 04:31 AM

                                                          I should also point out that if I'm making burgers and have two buns (or more) I have to make sure the tops go back on the bottoms from which they originated and are rotated to the correct alignment.


                                                          6 Replies
                                                          1. re: Davwud
                                                            ChrisOC RE: Davwud Jun 23, 2008 04:45 AM

                                                            Yes...the two stumps of the hinge that held the halves together MUST align!

                                                            1. re: ChrisOC
                                                              Catskillgirl RE: ChrisOC Jun 23, 2008 11:04 AM

                                                              I go to ridiculous lengths to NOT break that umbilical cord holding the 2 halves together until the burger is properly situated on the bottom and all condiments are in place.

                                                              1. re: Catskillgirl
                                                                mrbozo RE: Catskillgirl Jun 25, 2008 03:35 PM

                                                                But it's only bread!

                                                                1. re: mrbozo
                                                                  Catskillgirl RE: mrbozo Jun 27, 2008 10:55 AM

                                                                  Bite your tongue, Mr.! "Only bread"???



                                                                  1. re: mrbozo
                                                                    Davwud RE: mrbozo Jun 27, 2008 01:51 PM


                                                                    Bread is only the greatest food on the planet.


                                                                    1. re: mrbozo
                                                                      mrbozo RE: mrbozo Jun 27, 2008 04:18 PM

                                                                      Holy moly such a vigorous response to a smattering of grain. Trimming the crust from slices of bread may bring us to a better understanding.

                                                              2. y
                                                                yankeefan RE: mark Jun 23, 2008 09:12 AM

                                                                My biggest bread peeve is my wife and her requests when making sandwiches/paninis to have the innard dough ripped out. I find that insane and when Im handed a piece of garlic bread with all the doughy goodness on the inside missing, it infuriates me.

                                                                The only place that gets away with it is White House subs in Atlantic city because the bread is so delicious and off the charts. But, I still ask for the dough to be placed back on the hoagie. Yum, what is better than good bread.

                                                                1. Sam Fujisaka RE: mark Jun 23, 2008 12:31 PM

                                                                  Sorry. Most of my quick sandwiches entail bread from two loaves--one slice of whole wheat and one slice of Italian.

                                                                  9 Replies
                                                                  1. re: Sam Fujisaka
                                                                    Catskillgirl RE: Sam Fujisaka Jun 23, 2008 12:47 PM



                                                                    1. re: Sam Fujisaka
                                                                      bubbles4me RE: Sam Fujisaka Jun 23, 2008 01:13 PM

                                                                      I laughed out loud when I came to your post after reading about everyone's sandwich OCD! I just pictured a bunch of gasping and exploding heads....hahaha.
                                                                      I am a bit of a freak with sandwhiches as well and have to have the pieces lined up and I eat the crust first, leaving the soft gooey insides for last.

                                                                      1. re: Sam Fujisaka
                                                                        Cathy RE: Sam Fujisaka Jun 23, 2008 01:40 PM


                                                                        1. re: Sam Fujisaka
                                                                          meatn3 RE: Sam Fujisaka Jun 23, 2008 02:35 PM

                                                                          What is it about the mixed varieties of bread that you like?

                                                                          1. re: meatn3
                                                                            Sam Fujisaka RE: meatn3 Jun 23, 2008 03:06 PM

                                                                            Only one type now seems boring, tastes incomplete.

                                                                            1. re: Sam Fujisaka
                                                                              Caroline1 RE: Sam Fujisaka Jun 23, 2008 03:41 PM

                                                                              I'll bet you love that bread with the rye/pumpernickel swirl!

                                                                              1. re: Sam Fujisaka
                                                                                sasha1 RE: Sam Fujisaka Jun 24, 2008 04:39 PM

                                                                                This reminds me of my husband who can't eat a bowl of cereal that doesn't contain at least 2 kinds of cereal in it. It's a bad habit from college, when he used to mix in less sweet cereals to dilute the fruit loops, etc. But now, he mixes things like cheerios and corn flakes, which makes no sense, and has gotten the kids into this bad bad habit too! They are all so high maintenance, nothing like me ;-)

                                                                                1. re: sasha1
                                                                                  Sam Fujisaka RE: sasha1 Jun 24, 2008 06:01 PM

                                                                                  My oatmeal is half Miller's Avena en Hojuelas (whole oat flakes) and half Quaker Avena en Hojuelas (one minute fine stuff with "sabor artificial"--you can figure that one out). And, I just add milk and microwave. Have to let sit and MW again to get it all cooked.

                                                                                  1. re: Sam Fujisaka
                                                                                    sasha1 RE: Sam Fujisaka Jun 24, 2008 10:23 PM

                                                                                    No sympathy then from you huh :)

                                                                          2. jodymaryk RE: mark Jun 23, 2008 04:48 PM

                                                                            okay,Once my father in law made me a sandwich while i was working around his house,This is what I got, Chicken pastrami, mustard, light mayo on cinnamon raisin bread.
                                                                            Had to eat it as dear old dad is in his 80's and gets a little touchy about things.
                                                                            Have not eaten raisin bread since..

                                                                            I work at one of these company cafe's and trust me you all are pretty typical. I could tell you stories.............

                                                                            4 Replies
                                                                            1. re: jodymaryk
                                                                              hill food RE: jodymaryk Jun 23, 2008 05:14 PM

                                                                              well jody, we're waiting...

                                                                              let us know we're not complete freaks. (and I'm with you on raisin bread sandwiches)

                                                                              1. re: jodymaryk
                                                                                starlady RE: jodymaryk Jun 23, 2008 06:43 PM

                                                                                The only sandwich that should be served on cinnamon Raisin bread is a marmalade one.
                                                                                Other than that it should be served with butter or cream cheese.

                                                                                although I appreciate cinnamon and chicken going together, not in this fashion!! YIKES!

                                                                                1. re: starlady
                                                                                  purple goddess RE: starlady Jun 24, 2008 04:22 PM


                                                                                  2 consecutive slices, placed book wise in the toaster, toasted until nut brown,

                                                                                  Slices place in correct sequence on chopping board, spread with butter evenly and completely. add layers of sliced, sharp Cheddar on one slice ( I ALWAYS lay my cheese on the left hand slice, and layer the cheese in a symmetrical tile-like pattern with no overhang. Top with other piece of toast, closed correctly book-wise so alignment is correct, and scoff!

                                                                                  1. re: purple goddess
                                                                                    enbell RE: purple goddess Jun 25, 2008 08:16 PM

                                                                                    I was just about to add this! This is a truly wonderful flavor combination that hits that sweet/savory craving like no else :)

                                                                              2. y
                                                                                yankeefan RE: mark Jun 24, 2008 10:42 AM

                                                                                I have OCD with the rest of this bunch posting here when it comes to this, but it brings up an interesting possibility.

                                                                                Never thought of it before but how about a bagel sandwich with 2 different halves- could it be worth a try? Tuna salad with one half salt and the other pumpernickel could be interesting or is my therapist just making headway on my ocd.

                                                                                23 Replies
                                                                                1. re: yankeefan
                                                                                  Caroline1 RE: yankeefan Jun 24, 2008 12:11 PM

                                                                                  I don't know about your therapist, but mine seems to be in total fail mode. Ever since jfood's post about an egg salad bagel sandwich, I've been having huge difficulty wrapping my mind around the concept of two bagel halves with something in between them, let alone two different halves. How can tuna salad or egg salad between both halves of a bagel lead to anything but a plate full of squished-out sandwich filling! '-)

                                                                                  1. re: Caroline1
                                                                                    goodhealthgourmet RE: Caroline1 Jun 24, 2008 02:26 PM

                                                                                    caroline, i'm with you. i don't understand how anyone eats a closed bagel "sandwich." my father asked me to make him a bagel last week with nova, cream cheese & tomato, and he insisted on eating it closed...i thought my head was going to explode, it was so disturbing. i wanted to make it open-faced for him & let him close it himself, but he only wanted one slice of tomato on it and i couldn't bear to look at the two lopsided halves sitting side by side on the plate, one with tomato, one without. so i closed it, gave it to him, and walked out of the room before i had to witness the consumption!

                                                                                    we used to get bagels for breakfast or lunch all the time in school, and i had a couple of friends who would sandwich theirs before eating, even when the only filling was butter or cream cheese. it drove me NUTS.

                                                                                    1. re: goodhealthgourmet
                                                                                      mrbozo RE: goodhealthgourmet Jun 24, 2008 02:42 PM

                                                                                      Ah, try the Sam Fujisaka Variation with a bagel: half a poppy seed and half a sesame seed. Heavenly.

                                                                                      1. re: goodhealthgourmet
                                                                                        Caroline1 RE: goodhealthgourmet Jun 24, 2008 02:57 PM

                                                                                        You're a loving daughter, ghg. I would have told my dad to make the travesty himself. '-)

                                                                                        1. re: Caroline1
                                                                                          goodhealthgourmet RE: Caroline1 Jun 24, 2008 05:37 PM

                                                                                          disturbing as it may have been, it was still preferable to the alternative. the man can't even open a container of yogurt without leaving a mess in the kitchen that looks like a toddler was running around with a leaky sippy cup full of milk. i shudder to think what might have transpired were he left to his own devices with toasted bagel crumbs, cream cheese, drippy tomato slices, and oily nova...particularly since mom is fatally allergic to fish.

                                                                                        2. re: goodhealthgourmet
                                                                                          Sam Fujisaka RE: goodhealthgourmet Jun 24, 2008 04:03 PM

                                                                                          You put the lox, tomato slices, and cucumber on the bottom poppy seed half; spread the cream cheese on the upside down sesame seed half; and pop that over to become the top. Now nothing creamy will squish out through the bottom hole; and you won't get any squishing out onto your nose if you weren't greedy. So there!

                                                                                          1. re: Sam Fujisaka
                                                                                            goodhealthgourmet RE: Sam Fujisaka Jun 24, 2008 04:42 PM

                                                                                            sam...i love your posts, think you're brilliant, and you're entitled to enjoy your bagel sandwich however you prefer, but i just can't eat it like that! each side has to be eaten separately with identical layers of condiments & "fillings." the only thing i can manage is perhaps doing each half on a different bagel variety.

                                                                                            1. re: goodhealthgourmet
                                                                                              Caroline1 RE: goodhealthgourmet Jun 24, 2008 10:08 PM

                                                                                              I'm beginning to wonder if some people around here are talking about English muffins and not bagels? Squishing issues aside, for me it's as much about having a bite of "both halves together" bagel sandwich having so much bread to it that you can't taste the filling! Or maybe I'm the guilty one. Maybe I'm buying (and making) truly obese bagels?

                                                                                              1. re: Caroline1
                                                                                                goodhealthgourmet RE: Caroline1 Jun 25, 2008 11:42 AM

                                                                                                no, you're right. the ratio is off when you do both halves together - it's too doughy.

                                                                                                1. re: goodhealthgourmet
                                                                                                  mrbozo RE: goodhealthgourmet Jun 25, 2008 03:38 PM

                                                                                                  Not too doughy with Montreal bagels which are likely smaller than those found elsewhere with the exception of NYC.

                                                                                                  1. re: mrbozo
                                                                                                    goodhealthgourmet RE: mrbozo Jun 27, 2008 06:17 PM

                                                                                                    mrbozo, have you had a NYC bagel in recent years? they're HUGE!

                                                                                          2. re: goodhealthgourmet
                                                                                            sasha1 RE: goodhealthgourmet Jun 24, 2008 04:43 PM

                                                                                            Hmm - would I have driven you nuts? We had a very good bagelry at college, with nice chewy crusty outsides. I used to pick off and eat the entire outside first, then eat the white, naked, doughy interior. No fillings whatsoever. That spinach bagel (my flavor of choice) was flavorfull enough.

                                                                                            1. re: sasha1
                                                                                              goodhealthgourmet RE: sasha1 Jun 24, 2008 05:34 PM

                                                                                              "Hmm - would I have driven you nuts?"
                                                                                              actually, your method is fine because there are no toppings...it's your choice of bagel flavor that would have bothered me. certain varieties just shouldn't even exist ;)

                                                                                            2. re: goodhealthgourmet
                                                                                              Bat Guano RE: goodhealthgourmet Jun 25, 2008 08:15 AM

                                                                                              With a properly constructed bagel and lox - i.e., not too much cream cheese - seepage isn't a serious issue. Gotta be closed, to get the proper crunch from the toasted bagel exteriors. And don't forget the onion!

                                                                                              1. re: Bat Guano
                                                                                                goodhealthgourmet RE: Bat Guano Jun 25, 2008 11:41 AM

                                                                                                i can't eat it closed. gotta be open - with tomato & onion slices on top. i'm wondering if it's a holdover from my childhood - i always insisted on taking tiny bites, because i was "just a little girl with a little mouth" [kids say the darndest things :)]. anyway, trying to get my mouth around a closed bagel sandwich just wasn' t happening. plus, it's just too doughy that way, and the fillings get lost in all that bread.

                                                                                            3. re: Caroline1
                                                                                              jfood RE: Caroline1 Jun 24, 2008 05:29 PM

                                                                                              as jfood yells Geronimo an watches C1 fall off the cliff. :--))

                                                                                              jfood has on occasion take two different types of bagels, say a sesame and a poppy, and he tries to sneal the top of each. Then he takes the cream cheese and does a schmear on each. OK here's where it gets dagerous. Jfood loves sable, white fish, novey and creammed herring. So the sesame top gets the sable and novey and the poppy gets the herring and whitefish.

                                                                                              So in the end there are two different bagels types, both tops with four toppings.

                                                                                              A true heaven on a plate.

                                                                                              1. re: jfood
                                                                                                Sam Fujisaka RE: jfood Jun 24, 2008 06:07 PM

                                                                                                AKKKK! You got me (remember those carni fast draws against a robot cowbow?)! Thank god, I've got some good breads, some home made yogurt based cheese, and some smoked fish as substitutes. There are no bagels, sable, whitefish, novey, or creamed herring here--but I'm going to do my best.

                                                                                                1. re: Sam Fujisaka
                                                                                                  Caroline1 RE: Sam Fujisaka Jun 24, 2008 10:21 PM

                                                                                                  Sam, with your cooking skills, bagels are fun to make! Try boiling them in beer instead of water before you bake them. DEEEEEE-licious!

                                                                                                2. re: jfood
                                                                                                  Caroline1 RE: jfood Jun 24, 2008 10:18 PM

                                                                                                  Wait a minute... Wait a minute. Wait a minute! Reading back, aren't you the guy who said you don't like egg salad up your nose? And now you're telling me you DO like creamed herring climbing your nostrils? Jay, you have peculiar tastes and preferences. '-)

                                                                                                  1. re: Caroline1
                                                                                                    jfood RE: Caroline1 Jun 25, 2008 01:08 PM


                                                                                                    Jfood never stated whether he liked or disliked either egg salad or creamed herring up his nose (with a rubber hose Mr Barbarino). That concusion is for others to draw.

                                                                                                    1. re: jfood
                                                                                                      Caroline1 RE: jfood Jun 25, 2008 01:12 PM

                                                                                                      Okay. I won't draw any conclusions. But just one question: Do you wear a scuba mask when you eat begel sandwiches?

                                                                                                      1. re: Caroline1
                                                                                                        jfood RE: Caroline1 Jun 25, 2008 06:46 PM

                                                                                                        napkins and careful and bend bagel away as you bite. very simple.

                                                                                                        1. re: jfood
                                                                                                          meatn3 RE: jfood Jun 25, 2008 08:45 PM

                                                                                                          I think an instructional video is needed...


                                                                                            4. mrbozo RE: mark Jun 24, 2008 10:53 AM

                                                                                              A change in perspective is difficult. The known and habituated behaviour is comforting. Politicial parties count on this come election time. Whole wheat or white makes no difference as long as the orientation is familiar. Enjoy your sandwich, it tastes the same as it ever did.

                                                                                              Show Hidden Posts