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Jun 20, 2008 04:53 AM

when the bread doesn't line up...

ok, ridiculously inane topic, but here goes:

i stop at the company cafeteria a few times each week to grab a breakfast sandwich. there are 2 women who work the grill/prepare food. one of them consistently puts my sandwich together with the slices of bread oriented in different directions. i cannot eat it.

before i can eat that sandwich, i have to realign the bread. i don't even understand how she can make it that way; it's an affront to me that it's not symmetrical, and disturbing to me that it doesn't seem to bother her at all. it's like walking around with one shoe tied tighter than the other; no balance. yes, i'm well aware that i'm overly fastidious.

don't get me wrong, i understand this is a very little thing, and matters only to me. it's a very simple thing for me to rotate one piece of toast. i would never give her any grief over it, and i tip her the same as i do the one who makes 'em right.

any other fans of the symmetrical sandwich out there?

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  1. Yes, with burgers. My wife will get halfway through a burger and the the top part of the bun is much larger than the bottom and it irritates me, I don't know why. She apparently is itting it at an angle but it drives me batty ...

    1. OMG, that's hilarious. Who would assemble a sandwich with the bread facing in opposite directions??
      It would drive me up the wall!!!

      Years ago we went to this burger joint and we had a beer each with our burgers. The elderly bartender served us our beers, in bottle, cap on, laying on their sides. To this day it still baffles me why he laid them down on their sides.


      1 Reply
      1. re: Davwud

        Opposite directions? As an almost OCD, that would drive me batty.

        Then again, I'm jealous of the fact that you have real food at a real cafeteria where you work. Lucky you!

      2. She's probably doing it intentionally. I'd take it personally if I were you ; )

        Seriously, it would probably bemuse me for a couple of seconds, then I'd get over it and eat the sandwich the way it was. Always open to new experiences, I am!

        6 Replies
        1. re: Bat Guano

          oh, believe me, i do! i entertained various revenge fantasies, all neatly symmetrical, for the first month or 2 this went on ;)

          i once ate the sandwich as is. have to admit that the flavor was not affected. but, i still didn't feel right about it and didn't enjoy it.

          the same person sometimes works the cash register, too. the sandwich costs $2.24. hand her a $20 and you'll get 3 $5s, 2 $1s and change. no 2 consecutive bills will be oriented in the same direction - drives me nearly as batty, in a trivial way, as the bread thing.

          1. re: mark

            I think the $$ not being aligned would bother me almost more than the bread. And the bread would bother me. Not to the extent that I would ever mention it, but I would be compelled to fix the bread before eating it.

            At my bakery some of the counter clerks hand over their cash drawers with the bills all upside down, corners folded, and facing in different directions. They do this once. After that I sit them down and show them how I like it done. *G* It just makes me crazy, and counting stacks of bills takes a lot longer when I have to stop, smooth, uncrumple and re-align bills along the way!

            1. re: Catskillgirl

              "at my bakery"

              Now there's a Willie Wonka phrase!

              I so agree on bills facing the same way, and highest to lowest in a wallet.

              1. re: dolores

                LOL! It's not actually my bakery at all, but I seem to spend most waking moments here, and feel very proprietary towards it. *G* I have two bosses who co-own the bakery - one is very rarely here (he runs a few other businesses) and one who will do anything to not have to sit at his desk for more than a few minutes at a time. So a lot falls on me, and I love it! I manage the overall operations and micro-manage the wholesale business. In other words I tell the bakers what to bake each day.

                I'm still trying to decide which irks me more, the bills not being in order or the bread not matching up. Both don't contribute to my sense of well-being, that's for sure.

                  1. re: phofiend

                    Grin. Like a silly smiley-face but easier for me to remember. :-)

        2. That's really funny. I used to make sandwiches in work cafeteria, and when the bread didn't line up I felt really weird about it. If I accidently put one slice the wrong way I would apologize. Usually people thought it was strange that I would mention it, but it mattered to me!

          15 Replies
          1. re: manraysky

            This reminds me of the little children I cared for as an au pair. At lunch one day I made sandwiches for them and cut them the "wrong" way. The kids refused to eat them. The 8-year-old said it would not "taste right". I ate the "bad" sandwiches myself, and made more for the the "little darlings", following their precise cutting directions. .

            Next lunch? One of the kids wanted her sandwich cut "my" way, and then told me it tasted better that way. Go figure.....

            1. re: Cheflambo

              oh, as a kid i would have said the same. cut in half, top to bottom - no problem. diagonal, from top left to bottom right - no problem. diagonal the other way - not so much, but i'd eat it after making my preference known. in half from side to side (why would anyone cut a sandwich that way anyway) - i wouldn't have eaten it because it wouldn't taste right.

              1. re: Cheflambo

                Which was your way? Diagonal or horizontal?

                I find the diagonal hoi polloi and pretentious. Horizontal is a blue collar cut, all the way.

                1. re: dolores

                  Have you ever eaten at a Friendly's Restaurant/Ice Cream Parlour? I worked at one while in high school a long (I'm talking really long) time ago. Back then the burgers were square and served on toasted sandwich bread. They were cut on a "bias"; not straight top to bottom, not diagonally, about halfway in between these. Would this be bourgeoisie?

                  1. re: dolores

                    no, no, no, if it's going to be cut rectilinear it has to be vertical so both halves are somewhat symmetrical. sheesh.

                    1. re: hill food

                      Hill, the halves were symmetrical (or were at least supposed to be if done properly). If one half was rotated 180° around an imaginary axis through the face of the sandwich it would align perfectly with the other half. I should also note that type of bread we used did not have the traditional "domed top", it was essentially square. (Sorry Hill, I thought you were responding to mine, not Dolores.)

                      1. re: kmcarr

                        in the end it doesn't matter - we're all a bunch of basket cases. It's no wonder my father always made fun of me at the dinner table.

                    2. re: dolores

                      LOL that's funny. When I was firsting dating my hubby I made sandwiches for both of us. Without asking he picked up the horizontal cut. When I asked him how come he picked that one up he said the diagonal cut was a princess cut and it was probably for me.

                    3. re: Cheflambo

                      In college, there was a girl who worked at the student center cafe who always asked how you liked your grilled cheese sandwich cut. Some people though it it was weird, but I loved it, because to me, grilled cheese sandwiches HAVE to be cut diagonally, it just doesn't taste as good otherwise!

                      1. re: JasmineG

                        Realllly, JasmineG? How funny. I today had a grilled cheese from a diner that is closing, sad to say, and just realized it was cut in half, as I like it.

                        *sigh* My last meal from this diner, and they knew how I liked my sandwich cut!

                        hill food, how is a sandwich cut in half not symmetrical? I am being dense, I guess.

                        1. re: dolores

                          Dolores: it's in the way the top of the loaf arches, the sides have that sort of dimple and the bottom is flat. So if not cut diagonal then cut from North to South so to speak.

                          you're not being dense, I'm being needlessly fussy.

                        2. re: JasmineG

                          I think I was that girl! nah just kidding, I love my sandwiches cut on the diagonal and in quarters. My sons in their 20s always have their that way too because of me and I learned this from my mother. I stopped cutting everyones crust off when bread prices began to "rise."

                          I am also one of those that takes the bread from inside the loaf, where its freshest, and I've watched, my kids and husband do it too!

                          1. re: chef chicklet

                            hill food, I 'think' I understand. I've cut cakes that didn't look perfect (and eaten the miscreants outcasts of course) in order to get a symmetrical look.

                            chef chicklet, I do that. I always eat the sad little end pieces, not wanting to hurt their feelings, but I use them as bookends until all the middle pieces have been dispatched.

                            1. re: dolores

                              I should clarify, when cut on the horizontal you get the arched side on one piece and flat on the other, but when cut vertically two dimpled sided pieces.

                              again my OCD.

                              1. re: dolores

                                me too, I do eat them, I actually like them toasted!

                      2. Yes, I'm anal in this way too. I take it further - any spread or topping needs to be evenly dispersed over the sandwich. A splotch of mustard just in the center, cheese melted on just one side of a burger - makes me feel unsettled! Fortunately I can get over myself and deal with it with a minimum of fuss.

                        Glad to know I'm not alone!

                        14 Replies
                        1. re: meatn3

                          i totally agree. fortunately, i'm not so far gone that i'll "check under the hood" to see if everything's lined up right. but the bread. argh, it just stares me in the face, mocking me...

                          1. re: mark

                            Maybe we should start a new 12 step group for FAN's (Food anal neurotics!) I could be the founder. I hate my bread not to be aligned just so, I do check "under the hood" to make sure the condiments are spread evenly, hate the cheese sloppy on more one side than the other, and do not give me a grilled sandwich where the bread is not perfectly matched! Whew! I feel better just getting it out there.

                            1. re: danhole

                              I have to have two consecutive slices. If they had pieces removed from in between them and don't match exactly, I won't use them

                              What kinda weirdo's are we??


                              1. re: Davwud

                                We are food obsessed Chowhound weirdos, don'tcha know? I forgot about that pet peeve. Yup, 2 consecutive slices.

                                1. re: danhole

                                  I do feel better about myself knowing that I am not alone in my idiosyncries!

                                  1. re: danhole

                                    i'm with danhole on all points. so help me if the slices aren't consecutive or are misaligned, or if the filling is uneven. i'll deconstruct the entire mess and redistribute everything appropriately before eating, even trimming the bread if i have to.

                                    i'm notoriously OCD about my friends took to calling me "sally" [after meg ryan's character in when harry met sally]...and then decided i was much crazier than she was. now they just warn any poor, unsuspecting server that he or she is in for a treat when i order.

                                    i personally don't think i'm that sally said in the movie, "i just like it the way i like it."


                                    1. re: goodhealthgourmet

                                      And what's Harry's response to that?

                                      Don't worry; I'm "high maintenance," too. But I like my pie heated with plain cream, not whipped or ice; or not at all.

                                      1. re: miss_bennet

                                        touché :)

                                        i take mine heated with vanilla on the side...and i allow the ice cream to soften/melt until it reaches the proper consistency.

                                        1. re: goodhealthgourmet

                                          goodhealth, I hate my ice cream on my pie. Why would I subject it to sudden and irreparable loss from being on a hot pie? On the side, always. Same with whipped cream. Mushy, liquidy whipped cream as a result of meeting hot pie? Bah.

                                          Same with hot fudge. Who in their right mind is going to allow very hot fudge to melt their VERY expensive 'no longer sold in real half gallon' ice cream to be lost to the vagaries of temperature? Not I.

                                          On the side, thank you.

                                          1. re: dolores

                                            Both Mrs. Sippi and my mom stick their ice cream in the nuculator for a few seconds to soften.


                                  2. re: Davwud

                                    I not only have to have 2 consecutive slices but the sides that are facing each other must be the interior sides when the sandwich is made. Sounds extremely anal but when I'm cutting from a loaf and flip one slice, the edges and widths of the slices are out of line and the contents is more likely to slide, slip or, like the uneven bun around the burger problem another poster describes, I'll end up with a last bite with only a piece of bread on one side. sssshhhh, don't tell - no one's noticed yet that I do this! ; )

                                    1. re: morwen

                                      "I not only have to have 2 consecutive slices but the sides that are facing each other must be the interior sides when the sandwich is made."

                                      Well duh!! LOL There's no way I'd not open them like a book and put the filling in the middle. It's just wrong.


                                      1. re: Davwud

                                        Sadly, I've seen this done wrong. How can people be so insensitive? So unfeeling? It is indeed wrong. There's a right way to use bread and a wrong way.

                                        1. re: Catskillgirl

                                          It's just another sign of the decline of civilization. Improperly assembled sandwiches, dogs and cats living together, MASS HYSTERIA!!!