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May 20, 2008 04:06 AM

Food Obsession and Significant Other

Without question, I live to eat, but my wife eats to live. For me, it gets a little annoying when I watch my wife eat bland and uninspired food, just because she's used to it. I pretty much do all the cooking, but It seems like every time it's her turn to make a meal, she makes the same thing: grilled cheese on white bread with american. Sometimes, she'll make her "homemade" chili, which consists of canned tomato soup, kidney beans, hamburger, S & P, and an undetectable amount of chili powder. She's annoyed and disturbed by change, and has a long list of things she completely refuses to try, which makes it difficult for me to get my kids to try new things. In fact, we had a discussion last night about how I have to go alone to an interesting sushi restaurant while on our upcoming vacation. She doesn't even want to go into the restaurant. I have to give her credit, though. She has no problem with watching me eating anything, she just often has to have something else. I can't really talk to her about new techniques or interesting recipes and ingredients, because she couldn't care less (probably the reason I joined this forum). So speak up! I want to hear from those of us whose SO's have very little interest in food.

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  1. MG
    Don't feel alone in the boat. I can't get anyone in my house to even try something new. We live on baked chicken prepared with a minimum amount of spice. Steak grilled with garlic powder. I have managed to keep my stash of spices hidden away so that I can at least jazz up my own meals. I long to eat a great Mexican meal, but I just can't get into Margarita's and quacamole alone. Good luck to you my friend.

    1. I have no idea of how I developed my palate since my parents are exactly like your SO.
      Chicken is often a roasted chicken breast with salt and pepper on it. Which my dad will begrudgingly eat a bit of.

      Mrs. Sippi is like me. She loves to eat. She loves new things too. Since she's moved north her appetite for ethnic foods has kicked into overdrive.
      I'm not sure I could ever be with someone who wasn't like that. First date out, if she orders a grilled cheese, I'm gone!!! LOL

      And speaking of grilled cheese, white bread with American cheese is still my favourite. I made it a few weeks back to go with some soup and Mrs. Sippi loved it. So did I.


      1. Not to depress you, but I've been in 2 relationships like that, neither of which worked. The evening hours during which they ate frozen burritos (in 1 case) or chicken on a Foreman grill (in the other) and drank beer while I tried to do something interesting for myself with some wine for drinking by myself just seemed so...gray.
        That wasn't all that broke us up; it was just one manifestation of how little we had in common. If 2 people share everything else, it could seem minor. But for me (and undoubtedly for them too) it loomed.

        Now I'm with the right man, who A) loves food but B) somehow *doesn't* tend to overeat, so I get to learn from him (as I'm definitely a grubber) at the same time I teach him about things he's never tried but that I know he'll like.

        1. gosh, it's not all bad, madgreek, i promise. change is possible. i dated a guy for 7 years, through college and grad school, whose two food groups, starting out, were macaroni (no other pasta was ok) and homefries. i'm not exaggerating by much. the one vegetable he ate was tomato. so we started from there. the first thing we did when we started living together was to make pasta sauce from fresh tomatoes. he liked that! then i started sneaking in onions, green and red peppers.... chorizo and kielbasa instead of ground beef. he liked that, too (and i wouldn't point out the addition / change until after the meal). then we started experimenting with different shapes of pastas and making homemade ravioli and then on to chinese potstickers and pierogis.... etc....

          he is still a good friend of mine and last time we met for dinner, he ordered and ate ancho chilli braised short ribs over polenta, with a side of haricots verts. i think we made progress!

          just do things slowly. try not to judge. (i know it's really, really hard.) if you don't find the chilli to your taste, say something like "honey, this is great. i wonder how it'd taste with a little bit of X added. mind if i try?" dump it into the pot, lavish praise about how great the meal is, and see if ingredient X recurs in the next batch. repeat until all ingredients you wish to see are in. :)

          i do hear you re: the sushi restaurant. my ex wouldn't, despite all my efforts, try sushi beyond california rolls. so i had a group of sushi buddies i'd go with, instead.

          4 Replies
          1. re: cimui

            I'm not sure how old the Madgreek's SO is but at least you had a young palate to help mould. Once people are set in their ways.......


            1. re: Davwud

              nah, i frankly think that's an excuse. life is full of change and even "old" (it's all relative) folks can and do roll with the punches, esp. when the need is great (and esp. if there's good, positive reinforcement). in similar shoes, if i loved my SO, i'd keep trying. i'm very, very stubborn. :)

              1. re: cimui

                We must agree to disagree then.
                Things I loved as a kid are way too......whatever the word I'm looking for.

                Things I hated as a kid as I grew older my palate grew into.
                Exposure at this time is important.

                Your palate will change as you go through puberty, etc. It will eventually settle in.


                1. re: Davwud

                  ah, who knows -- maybe i'll agree with you in a few years. :)

          2. Get the kids and RUN!

            Totally kidding =)

            I had an ex with eating habits and food preferences similar to what you described. As hard as I tried, I just couldn't get him to care. His reaction was exactly the same whether he was eating a perfectly prepared prime steak or a saltine, apathetic. Every time he'd try something different, I guess I'm lucky he tried, when asked how he liked it, what he thought of it etc., all you could ever get was, "Tastes weird." Infuriating to me, though I wonder if he was ever posting on a golf forum and complaining about his partner's inexplicable fascination with all things food related =)

            I would suggest, if you can convince your kiddos and have the time, trying to take them out to eat with just you. Make it a special one on one Daddy and Kiddo night and encourage them to try something different. Often kids can overcome learned pickiness if there is no one around to give them the idea that a certain food is somehow yucky.