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Amusing menu gaffes - what's yours? [moved from Boston board]

greygarious Apr 23, 2008 01:21 PM

The website for the new Andover restaurant, Serene, is rife with typos and misspellings, such as Shrimp Gramanier, and other errors, e.g. the risotto is SERVED with arborio rice! Many ethnic restaurant menus reflect their owners' imperfect command of English, often to charming/amusing effect. The menu for the excellent The Pongal, a new Indian restaurant in Billerica, contains the following: "...special plates served with day of the potato preparation...". I envision a 1950's horror movie with a monster in a rubber spud suit - Mr. Potato Head Runs Amok. The owners have other Pongals in India; googling led me to a review in an Indian newspaper, which said that a particular dish "goes down your gullet effortlessly". Can't help it, I picture the place settings including a feeding tube laid out next to the other cutlery.

What's your favorite menu chuckle?

  1. BobB Oct 19, 2011 01:13 PM

    Just today, in the Boston Globe, was a quarter-page ad for a suburban restaurant offering a "Pre-Fixe" menu. I thought this was priceless, especially as it bills itself as "Hip and modern as any city venue, but without the Boston expense."

    I suppose they have a point - semi-literacy does seem to be sadly "hip and modern."

    1. l
      LePetitChefCanadien Sep 23, 2011 04:33 PM

      Didn't see these first hand but I have gotten a few good laughs out of them.
      According to my mom, there used to be a little Korean restaurant near where we live (it's been gone for a while now) that had a sign advertising a "Smorgasborb".

      She's also told me about a Greek restaurant that mailed out flyers that included menus. Apparently, they were serving "hot children soup".

      2 Replies
      1. re: LePetitChefCanadien
        l
        LePetitChefCanadien Sep 23, 2011 09:10 PM

        Oh, and I saw an ad for a restaurant in Victoria that serves "three coarse meals". I guess all the other meals must be smoother.

        1. re: LePetitChefCanadien
          alkapal Sep 23, 2011 10:53 PM

          le petit -- i think i met a few smorgasborbs in college. ;-).

        2. a
          arcanium Jul 20, 2011 09:36 PM

          Not really menu, but my favorite years ago came from the deli section of Basha's supermarket in Phoenix, where knockwurst and sauerkraut was written as "knockers on krauts."

          1. eclecticsynergy Jul 19, 2011 11:53 AM

            Creative marketing.

             
            4 Replies
            1. re: eclecticsynergy
              j
              jumpingmonk Jul 19, 2011 04:52 PM

              And I suppose that every bag of Northern Spy's helps defeat the Confederacy

              1. re: jumpingmonk
                r
                rockycat Jul 20, 2011 06:49 AM

                LOL.

                1. re: jumpingmonk
                  bushwickgirl Jul 20, 2011 07:55 AM

                  Perspicacious and amusing, as was the creative apple marketing.

                  1. re: bushwickgirl
                    j
                    jumpingmonk Jul 20, 2011 06:31 PM

                    Thank you

                    Of couse we all know that, as Edgar Apple Poe pointed how, few thing can match "the Glory of Pomme Gris, or the Grandeur of a Rome."

              2. eclecticsynergy Jul 19, 2011 11:42 AM

                Honesty in labeling, a sign posted next to a menu board:

                "Today's Soup- Cream Of Yesterday's Special"

                1. r
                  rockycat Jul 19, 2011 10:24 AM

                  Today I saw a "Chic Pea Salad" on the menu of an upmarket Lebanese restaurant. Talk about classing things up. I'm kind of dowdy myself, though, so I would probably feel awkward ordering it.

                  1. jgg13 Jul 13, 2011 01:34 PM

                    There's a vietnamese place near me that has a lot of "frank steak" in their beef dishes

                    4 Replies
                    1. re: jgg13
                      alkapal Jul 17, 2011 07:33 AM

                      maybe just a bit better than the "goth" or "hun" steaks….

                      1. re: alkapal
                        j
                        jumpingmonk Jul 17, 2011 05:07 PM

                        Or maybe the persons who serves it to you dresses as one of Charlemagne's paladins.

                        Wonder what happens when you put frank steak and tartar steak (steak tartare) next to each other on the plate?

                        1. re: jumpingmonk
                          alkapal Jul 19, 2011 09:46 AM

                          well, after they battle, then i suspect that the tartare is not going to look much worse for the wear. ;-).

                          <somehow, monty python and the holy grail is drifting through the back of my mind. "it's ONLY A FLESH WOUND!">

                      2. re: jgg13
                        thew Jul 17, 2011 09:03 AM

                        i'd take a frank steak over a disingenuous one, any time

                      3. bushwickgirl Jul 8, 2011 06:40 PM

                        This thread never fails to amuse, and often to enlighten.

                        1. s
                          somervilleoldtimer Jul 7, 2011 07:47 PM

                          My sister gave me a pack of gum with this blurb on the side: "Still tastes like soap!"

                          4 Replies
                          1. re: somervilleoldtimer
                            buttertart Jul 13, 2011 07:53 AM

                            Looks like your sister and you share a sense of humor. A fun one.

                            1. re: buttertart
                              s
                              somervilleoldtimer Jul 14, 2011 09:54 AM

                              And to buttertart: Yes, we think we're very funny!

                            2. re: somervilleoldtimer
                              lavaca Jul 13, 2011 03:33 PM

                              Musk-flavored gum?

                              1. re: lavaca
                                s
                                somervilleoldtimer Jul 13, 2011 05:43 PM

                                Don't know. I'm afraid to open the package.

                            3. shecrab Jun 15, 2011 10:12 AM

                              "All steaks broiled to your likeness". I don't think many kitchens could pull off such feats of portraiture.

                              6 Replies
                              1. re: shecrab
                                alkapal Jun 17, 2011 04:19 AM

                                hey, if burnt toast can have the likeness of the holy madonna, then who says a rib-eye can't capture yours?

                                1. re: alkapal
                                  tracylee Jun 17, 2011 11:27 PM

                                  http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/imag...

                                  1. re: tracylee
                                    alkapal Jun 18, 2011 04:25 AM

                                    aha, that's a new one on me. prices just plummeted on ebay!

                                2. re: shecrab
                                  j
                                  jumpingmonk Jun 17, 2011 04:34 AM

                                  The now make little iron things that allow you to brand your initials into your steak. I imagine that, with enought time and money, a similar device could be made to put your portrait on there. Thoufg I admit that, in a resuturaunt setting, this might not work (unless you whole clientele were such long term patrons that you'd actually had 5-6 months to take thier pictures, send them off to the manufacturer, had them make the brands and gotten them back to use.)

                                  1. re: jumpingmonk
                                    alkapal Jun 17, 2011 04:40 AM

                                    i'm picturing someone walking in with their face-brand.

                                    1. re: alkapal
                                      hill food Jul 7, 2011 10:36 PM

                                      someone in SF, CA did that to imprint tortillas with the BVM and JC for a street festival. (yes I know heretical and offensive to some, but really just making fun of people who only see what they want to see)

                                3. eclecticsynergy Jun 14, 2011 11:16 PM

                                  Often some good ones at:

                                  http://engrishfunny.failblog.org/

                                  8 Replies
                                  1. re: eclecticsynergy
                                    buttertart Jun 15, 2011 06:43 AM

                                    I don't find too many of those amusing - having studied Chinese and knowing how hard it is to get characters written correctly it doesn't surprise me when people whose native language isn't English get things wrong.

                                    One of the ones always commented on is "crap" for "crab". Try remembering the strokes and their proper order in the Chinese word (2 fairly complicated characters) for crab...I can see someone saying hmm, which way does the stroke on that last letter go, above or below that little backwards "c" thing???

                                    Sorry to sound like a prig but there it is.

                                    1. re: buttertart
                                      s
                                      small h Jun 15, 2011 07:22 AM

                                      I understand your unamused-ness, but I think the particular example you give has less to do with "haha, stupid Chinese people" and more to do with "haha, you said 'crap'." If "crab" were misspelled "crad," fewer people would mock it. Or even notice, probably.

                                      1. re: small h
                                        buttertart Jun 15, 2011 09:27 AM

                                        Possibly so, and that's perhaps not the best example since there is the childish joke angle to it as well as the writng in a foreign language, but I'd like to see menus translated into Chinese by English speakers armed only with an English-Chinese dictionary or Google Translate...I doubt they'd be bereft of howlers.

                                        1. re: buttertart
                                          s
                                          small h Jun 15, 2011 09:39 AM

                                          If there is a site that mocks English speakers for their failure to communicate properly in some other language, I promise to look at it and laugh. I know my own attempts to speak anything other than English are usually met with polite tolerance, at best.

                                          1. re: buttertart
                                            thew Jun 15, 2011 02:06 PM

                                            im sure it would be hysterical. and i'm ok with that. but not speaking or reading chinese i wouldnt get the joke. but in english it makes me laugh

                                            1. re: buttertart
                                              s
                                              somervilleoldtimer Jul 7, 2011 07:50 PM

                                              Oh, it's actually incredibly funny! Try googling a recipe for General Gau's chicken or something, find one written in Chinese, and then do the automatic translate for some really good laughs!
                                              I'm constantly entertaining small children with my terrible Spanish that I keep using. Children are not too polite to laugh at me, not with me.

                                          2. re: buttertart
                                            alkapal Jun 17, 2011 04:22 AM

                                            if i say i'm feeling crabby or crappy, people know it IS the same thing. ;-).

                                          3. re: eclecticsynergy
                                            t
                                            TexSquared Jun 15, 2011 02:49 PM

                                            Even more at http://engrish.com

                                          4. roxlet Sep 2, 2010 01:33 PM

                                            Here is a menu item from an Asian restaurant in Egypt. For all you diners who are unsure as to what exactly "Poo" as a category is on the menu, the restaurant provides the translation parenthetically -- (crap). I have the photo, but I can't get the durn thing to load...

                                            6 Replies
                                            1. re: roxlet
                                              grayelf Sep 2, 2010 02:31 PM

                                              I take it you were in a Thai restaurant, roxlet :-)

                                              1. re: grayelf
                                                roxlet Sep 2, 2010 07:43 PM

                                                That's right, grayelf!

                                                1. re: roxlet
                                                  l
                                                  Leonardo Sep 2, 2010 10:16 PM

                                                  http://www.engrish.com/2010/08/now-wi...
                                                  "Chinese Semen Cannabis Drink"
                                                  They wanted to say "hemp seed drink"

                                                  1. re: Leonardo
                                                    l
                                                    Leonardo Jun 15, 2011 09:17 PM

                                                    http://www.engrish.com/2011/06/chicke...
                                                    "The chicken soup searches and confiscates hand"

                                                    1. re: Leonardo
                                                      alkapal Jun 17, 2011 04:16 AM

                                                      …is worth two chicken soups in the bush?

                                              2. re: roxlet
                                                buttertart Sep 3, 2010 06:37 AM

                                                The best Thai restaurant ever in NYC was called "Poo Thai" (was in Jackson Heights). We loved that place, it was magic. It died the death after a couple of years...Poo was the fabulous woman cook's nickname, it means "little piglet" or something of that nature.

                                              3. p
                                                phantomdoc Jul 22, 2010 10:06 AM

                                                Chinese menu in California:
                                                Poultry:
                                                Sweet and sour dick.

                                                1. s
                                                  siki2 Jul 6, 2010 02:17 PM

                                                  My favorite sports drink - Pocari Sweat. Not a "gaffe" but the actual name of a Japanese sports drink.

                                                  1 Reply
                                                  1. re: siki2
                                                    rebrites Jul 22, 2010 09:20 AM

                                                    Chinese restaurant in Leon, Spain: "Casa Rong." Having dated Mister (W)rong for many years, I love eating at his little place, where their "leg rolls" are a popular appetizer. (You can also choose "beer consummate" (beef consummé?) or "extruded porcine matter stoned sizzling hot."

                                                    Not bad, really, for a Chinese menu translated to Spanish and then into English!

                                                  2. l
                                                    lasarney Jul 4, 2010 10:21 AM

                                                    upper right side of the menu in flowing, cursive script, "pieces of resistent tripe", aka "piece de resistance, tripe"!

                                                    1 Reply
                                                    1. re: lasarney
                                                      alkapal Jul 8, 2010 08:01 PM

                                                      oh gosh, that "pieces of resistent tripe" cracked me up. good name for a grunge band, eh?

                                                    2. thew Jun 8, 2010 03:25 PM

                                                      not exactly a gaffe, but i thought of this thread immediately:

                                                       
                                                      1. goodhealthgourmet May 19, 2010 04:44 PM

                                                        was just perusing the menu for Burger Kitchen in LA and i'm laughing about the "burblanc sauce" served with their salmon patty :)

                                                        3 Replies
                                                        1. re: goodhealthgourmet
                                                          alkapal May 20, 2010 04:10 AM

                                                          boy, that sounds so appetizing, doesn't it?

                                                          "ooop, excuse me, i've gotta ...<burblanc>."

                                                          1. re: goodhealthgourmet
                                                            s
                                                            small h May 20, 2010 05:22 AM

                                                            Isn't that where Laugh-In was filmed? Beautiful downtown Burblanc?

                                                            1. re: small h
                                                              r
                                                              rockycat May 20, 2010 05:42 AM

                                                              LOL!

                                                          2. thew Apr 28, 2010 08:59 AM

                                                            from a little Dominican place in Harlem, NYC:

                                                            clamps with rice

                                                            ouch

                                                            1. Caroline1 Apr 22, 2010 08:45 PM

                                                              Browsing on-line menus last week, I ran across some sort of dish topped with a "crispy poached egg." I kept browsing, then couldn't find my way back to it. My mind still cannot wrap around a CRISPY poached egg. Poach, then roll in panko?

                                                              17 Replies
                                                              1. re: Caroline1
                                                                thew Apr 23, 2010 05:47 AM

                                                                or oil poached?

                                                                1. re: thew
                                                                  Caroline1 Apr 23, 2010 08:10 AM

                                                                  I've been oil poaching eggs since I was a teen. Well, BACON FAT poached is more like it. How many hours ya think the egg would have to simmer under oil to reach the "crispy" stage? '-)

                                                                  I do wonder if they meant "crispy fried" instead of poached. Not that I find crispy fried all that attractive. I find "crispy" egg whites that brown around the edges of an egg tough and too chewy. Nevertheless, I do seem to cook them that way far too often when I'm in a hurry to get them on top of waffles... <sigh>

                                                                  1. re: Caroline1
                                                                    s
                                                                    small h Apr 23, 2010 08:46 AM

                                                                    A crispy poached egg is deep fried post poaching (and say that five times fast). Here's one recipe:

                                                                    http://elseachelsea.typepad.com/froli...

                                                                    1. re: small h
                                                                      BobB Apr 23, 2010 09:03 AM

                                                                      An egg dipped in egg batter & crumbs, then deep fried. Now THAT has potential!

                                                                      1. re: BobB
                                                                        alanbarnes Apr 23, 2010 09:33 AM

                                                                        Might as well hang for a sheep as a lamb - why not make it a Scotch Egg? You lose the runny yolk, but you get sausage. Mmmmm, sausage...

                                                                        1. re: alanbarnes
                                                                          linguafood Apr 23, 2010 09:41 AM

                                                                          i like the way you think, alan.

                                                                          1. re: alanbarnes
                                                                            BobB Apr 23, 2010 10:21 AM

                                                                            But I love runny yolks. Maybe a crispy poached egg on top of a sausage patty, on a well-toasted buttered english muffin, topped with some hollandaise... and bacon on the side!

                                                                            1. re: BobB
                                                                              Emmmily Apr 29, 2010 02:24 PM

                                                                              Drool... Though I might add a slice of cheddar.

                                                                              1. re: Emmmily
                                                                                BobB Apr 29, 2010 02:37 PM

                                                                                Hmm. I'll have to think about that one. Cheddar and hollandaise together?

                                                                        2. re: small h
                                                                          Caroline1 Apr 23, 2010 09:15 AM

                                                                          Thanks for the recipe. I'm just not sure it sets my mouth watering. I can't imagine "poaching" an egg in only an inch of water. I do love eggs poached in milk with Lawry's Seasoned Salt, then served on a toasted English muffin.

                                                                          1. re: Caroline1
                                                                            alkapal May 13, 2010 05:52 AM

                                                                            caroline, lawrey's seasoned salt works so well on eggs, doesn't it? it also is perfect on cottage cheese with summer tomatoes.

                                                                            1. re: alkapal
                                                                              buttertart May 13, 2010 06:29 AM

                                                                              Hooray you're back! Missed you, alka girl!

                                                                              1. re: buttertart
                                                                                alkapal May 13, 2010 06:49 AM

                                                                                thank you, buttertart! i missed you, too.

                                                                                1. re: alkapal
                                                                                  buttertart May 13, 2010 07:30 AM

                                                                                  You're OK, I hope?

                                                                                  1. re: buttertart
                                                                                    alkapal May 13, 2010 08:13 AM

                                                                                    i'll email you at your address in the profile.

                                                                                    1. re: alkapal
                                                                                      buttertart May 13, 2010 08:59 AM

                                                                                      Great, looking forward to hearing from you.

                                                                                      1. re: buttertart
                                                                                        hill food Jun 8, 2010 11:54 PM

                                                                                        you've all left out the layer of fried scrapple (ok spam in a pinch)

                                                                  2. weewah Apr 22, 2010 04:22 PM

                                                                    A friend of mine provided at request, a hasenpfeffer recipe for a local publication. He listed ingredients in order from largest to smallest, and as a joke he wrote the first ingerient as: "one large rabbit - dead". That's just how they printed it. I still keep a copy of that; we really cracked up.

                                                                    1. j
                                                                      juliefischer Apr 14, 2010 01:05 AM

                                                                      Not sure if it's a "gaffe", but this one made me laugh. A Chinese restaurant in Chelsea, NYC has anecdotes next to certain dishes to explain why they're special. One reads, "Before she died, this was Princess Diana's favorite dish." ...Yah, the "before" part kind of goes without saying.

                                                                      2 Replies
                                                                      1. re: juliefischer
                                                                        j
                                                                        jumpingmonk Apr 15, 2010 05:29 AM

                                                                        Yesterday I was in Flushing's Chinatwon and at Fortune House in, I couldn't help noticing that one of the English items listed on the board was "beef trip" . I know they meant "tripe" but for a moment I speculated on whether the owners/cooks of the place had come to this country from China via Pnom Peh, and had piced up a few technique from the pizza parlors who make the infamous "happy pizza" (basically the pizza equivalent of hash browinies).

                                                                        1. re: jumpingmonk
                                                                          alkapal May 13, 2010 05:47 AM

                                                                          you mean that ain't oregano on that happy pizza?

                                                                      2. h
                                                                        hye Mar 14, 2010 07:40 PM

                                                                        Surati Farsan Mart's online menu for their dine-in is good for the most part except for this interesting item:
                                                                        http://www.suratifarsan.com/ProductDe...

                                                                        "Special Instructions: Dry Clean Only"

                                                                        1 Reply
                                                                        1. re: hye
                                                                          alkapal Mar 14, 2010 07:50 PM

                                                                          ha ha -- except...even dry cleaning probably wouldn't work on that chole stain! darned turmeric! ;-).

                                                                        2. a
                                                                          aliris Mar 8, 2010 01:31 PM

                                                                          Years ago at a spicy-chicken fast food shack in Hyde Park south of downtown Chicago, Harold's had an infamous sign: NO | dogs eating bicycles -- the last three words ran underneath each other as if a column all of which were intended to be prefaced by the word "no". But it all somehow came out as if bicycle-eating dogs were prohibited from the store. Very funny.

                                                                          Years later I returned to see if the place was as good as I remembered and I was very saddened to see that following a remodel they'd updated the sign to be more grammatical. Very sad. The chicken was still good, but not as good as a hungry, bleary-eyed 17 yo might have thought either....

                                                                          1. s
                                                                            smartie Mar 6, 2010 07:47 AM

                                                                            last week in a restaurant in Israel we saw on the menu

                                                                            'fried calamari on a bed of oven roasted aborigine'. The Hebrew was a bed of eggplant so we guessed they meant aubergine.

                                                                            1. Paulustrious Feb 25, 2010 06:17 AM

                                                                              Not the menu, but posted on the door of a restaurant in Kendall, Miami...

                                                                              http://www.flickr.com/photos/13432837...

                                                                              6 Replies
                                                                              1. re: Paulustrious
                                                                                r
                                                                                rockycat Feb 26, 2010 06:53 AM

                                                                                As a Crohn's Disease patient I find that sign just plain effin' hilarious.
                                                                                Been there, done that - unfortunately.

                                                                                1. re: rockycat
                                                                                  j
                                                                                  jumpingmonk Mar 4, 2010 10:33 AM

                                                                                  from the appetizer section of a middle eastern menu which evidently forgot an "m"

                                                                                  "fresh garlic humus"

                                                                                  (for those who don't garden, humus is the decayed organic part of soil (the stuff the plants actually use to grow)

                                                                                  on a realted note I cant recally HOW many times I've seen "Hunan" (in Chinese) Typo it't way to "Human". My favortie is the place that wrote across its menu "Our chef's are acclaimed experts at preparing and cooking human." Maybe that place that said "We serve people like you as good food" wasn't kidding................ Now I'm a bit worried that the pork in my meals is the "long" kind.

                                                                                  1. re: jumpingmonk
                                                                                    alkapal Mar 4, 2010 03:20 PM

                                                                                    ah, "to serve man."
                                                                                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WudBfR...
                                                                                    "the cycle of going from dust to dessert."

                                                                                    1. re: alkapal
                                                                                      f
                                                                                      foodsnob14 Mar 4, 2010 03:32 PM

                                                                                      A Chinese restaurant in PA near my husband went to college was called Lung Fung...he was never tempted to stop in.

                                                                                      1. re: alkapal
                                                                                        j
                                                                                        jumpingmonk Mar 4, 2010 03:54 PM

                                                                                        Oh yes that, Bonus fact (from a foodie point of view) in the orginal Damon Knight story, the Kanamit (the aliens) rather than being the bulbous headed aliens of the TV show, resembled humanoid pigs.

                                                                                        1. re: jumpingmonk
                                                                                          j
                                                                                          jumpingmonk Apr 22, 2010 07:00 PM

                                                                                          oh and then this little ditty (always made me laugh)

                                                                                          http://dammitja.net/backslash/text/mf...

                                                                                2. r
                                                                                  RonfromLaos Feb 23, 2010 07:26 PM

                                                                                  At a restaurant in Phuket - "fried crap"

                                                                                  7 Replies
                                                                                  1. re: RonfromLaos
                                                                                    KaimukiMan Feb 24, 2010 08:26 AM

                                                                                    was it fried crab or fried carp?

                                                                                    1. re: KaimukiMan
                                                                                      Parigi Feb 24, 2010 01:50 PM

                                                                                      This thread has become so long. I have actually mentioned the crap issue in Thailand earlier. Your question is a good one. Sometimes it's carp (once in Changmai); other times crab (once in Hua Hin). Never was it crap.
                                                                                      You just have to take your chances...

                                                                                      1. re: Parigi
                                                                                        l
                                                                                        Leonardo Feb 24, 2010 07:42 PM

                                                                                        http://www.engrish.com/2010/02/as-usu...
                                                                                        The "Door to the Women's Room" is the most expensive dish. Must be some restroom.
                                                                                        "Takes on the Young Surface": age discrimination on the menu?

                                                                                        1. re: Leonardo
                                                                                          BobB Feb 25, 2010 06:11 AM

                                                                                          I'd be willing to bet "Door to the Women's Room" is supposed to be some sort of aphrodisiac or male performance enhancer. Hence the cost, and the name.

                                                                                          1. re: BobB
                                                                                            buttertart Feb 25, 2010 08:40 AM

                                                                                            Don't think so - "Door..." says lu rou mian, noodles with a particular style of meat sauce. Not as far as I know a noodle version of Viagra - just a totally off-the-wall translation. "Takes on the young surface" is danzi mian, basket noodles (noodles that are warmed up in boiling water in a metal basket scoop and topped with various things. Another kooky one.

                                                                                            1. re: buttertart
                                                                                              BobB Feb 25, 2010 09:11 AM

                                                                                              Oh, well. Maybe if it were translated as "Little blue pill".... ;-)

                                                                                              1. re: BobB
                                                                                                buttertart Feb 25, 2010 09:17 AM

                                                                                                But then you might have to eat it in twin bathtubs holding hands while looking at a sunset. What is up with that?

                                                                                  2. c
                                                                                    comestible Feb 20, 2010 09:46 AM

                                                                                    Our local Sri Lankan place has a Sunday buffet. But instead of writing "All You Can Eat" the menu reads, "Eat As Much As You Can."

                                                                                    Years ago, after a meal in a Mission St. Mexican restaurant in San Francisco, I realized I'd left my umbrella at my table. I came back to the restaurant later in the day, and asked if I could have my umbrella. "Si." And then the server went back into the kitchen. Minutes later, no umbrella, so I asked again, "Where's my umbrella?" The answer this time was, "Si, it's cooking."

                                                                                    8 Replies
                                                                                    1. re: comestible
                                                                                      Parigi Feb 23, 2010 03:27 AM

                                                                                      "Eat As Much As You Can."

                                                                                      Reminds me of THE classic. Wine list for a restaurant in Switzerland: "our wines leave you nothing to hope for."

                                                                                      1. re: Parigi
                                                                                        bushwickgirl Feb 23, 2010 06:37 AM

                                                                                        Ha, good one.

                                                                                        Better nothing to hope for than nothing to live for.

                                                                                      2. re: comestible
                                                                                        eclecticsynergy Jul 19, 2011 11:35 AM

                                                                                        Miss Piggy- "Never eat more than you can lift."

                                                                                        1. re: eclecticsynergy
                                                                                          BobB Jul 19, 2011 11:40 AM

                                                                                          Or B. Kliban, Never Eat Anything Bigger Than Your Head.

                                                                                           
                                                                                          1. re: BobB
                                                                                            buttertart Jul 19, 2011 11:48 AM

                                                                                            I love adore and worship Kliban, who is also the best cat cartoonist of all time. "Frequently mistaken for a meatloaf."

                                                                                            1. re: buttertart
                                                                                              BobB Jul 19, 2011 01:57 PM

                                                                                              Yup. My favorite of his was one that hung on the bulletin board at my desk years ago when I was a technical writer,as it was so apropos, and it's even food-related. It showed four drawings of figs, and the captions under them read, Fig. 1, Fig 2, Fig. 3...

                                                                                              1. re: BobB
                                                                                                buttertart Jul 20, 2011 06:56 AM

                                                                                                Lovely. Shame he's gone. (Cat one - cat staring into corner. What's cat thinking? Thought bubble above head showing the corner.)

                                                                                                1. re: buttertart
                                                                                                  tracylee Jul 20, 2011 11:24 PM

                                                                                                  Hahaha, I think of that one all the time with my cats! My other faves are the boneless chicken ranch and morning face.

                                                                                      3. m
                                                                                        Meann Feb 20, 2010 08:59 AM

                                                                                        Not from a menu, but a largish supermarket in Chinatown last week: all the fresh ducks' feet were labeled "romiane lettuce."

                                                                                        2 Replies
                                                                                        1. re: Meann
                                                                                          t
                                                                                          TexSquared Feb 20, 2010 09:17 AM

                                                                                          Chinese supermarket in Toronto had the following sign near a certain yellow seed on the cob we know and love: CORNS

                                                                                          1. re: TexSquared
                                                                                            alkapal Mar 4, 2010 04:20 AM

                                                                                            i used to have me a corns on these here feet! http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_A3CZmkLo5mw...

                                                                                        2. alkapal Feb 4, 2010 06:09 PM

                                                                                          i can't recall if this has been mentioned, but it's a winner: http://www.rahoi.com/2006/03/may-i-take-your-order/

                                                                                          i want some cowboy leg beautiful pole with retchup, please. oh, and a side of domestic life beef immerses cabbage.

                                                                                          for my nourishing dessert, i think i'll have the doublle-boiled forest frog -- or the rock sugar braises the papaya; it's so hard to choose.

                                                                                          before we go, i'd like to order a take-out of pizza Lthick mordacity.

                                                                                          ~~~~~~~~
                                                                                          the site has lots of fun posts. look here for some funny food (and other) products: http://www.rahoi.com/2006/01/now-with...

                                                                                          15 Replies
                                                                                          1. re: alkapal
                                                                                            bushwickgirl Feb 19, 2010 06:50 AM

                                                                                            Rock sugar braised papaya trumps boiled forest frog anyday.

                                                                                            1. re: bushwickgirl
                                                                                              alkapal Feb 19, 2010 03:53 PM

                                                                                              no, it's "rock sugar braises the papaya" -- a superior dish.

                                                                                              as to the frog, i still love the monty python skit about crunchy frog (which i may have mentioned upthread). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dy6uLfermPU
                                                                                              (only the finest baby frogs....) http://orangecow.org/pythonet/sketche...

                                                                                              1. re: alkapal
                                                                                                bushwickgirl Feb 20, 2010 01:31 AM

                                                                                                Joking-
                                                                                                Hard to image a rock sugar braising anything, but I would consume the outcome, no sweat. I like the rock sugar soaks rye version, had that?
                                                                                                I'm not getting (and maybe not suppose to) the pizza Lthick mordacity. Biting, sharp or sarcastic pizza? Come to think of it, we have quite a bit of that here in NYC.
                                                                                                I guess that's why it's amusing menu gaffes.

                                                                                                1. re: bushwickgirl
                                                                                                  alkapal Feb 20, 2010 03:33 AM

                                                                                                  ha! good one b-girl!

                                                                                                  1. re: bushwickgirl
                                                                                                    grayelf Feb 21, 2010 09:56 PM

                                                                                                    This whole tangent just has me playing "Rockpapersugar" in my head but which one wins??

                                                                                                  2. re: alkapal
                                                                                                    buttertart Feb 20, 2010 06:09 AM

                                                                                                    Mmm....crunchy frog, heap good! One of the best MPs: rivaled only by the bicycle trip through North Cornwall - "...and my Crunchie bar was only moderately impaired" "Does your lovely daughter like Tizer, then?" and the Science Fiction Sketch - extraterrestrial blancmanges and a Scotsman duking it out at Wimbledon. Inspired madness.
                                                                                                    Chinese menu gaffes result largely from someone sitting down with a Chinese-English dictionary and little or no knowledge of English, just picking an English word that seems to fit. Some of them are wilder than others - rock sugar braises papaya is crystal sugar-simmered papaya in the original. And the frog, you really don't want to know about (frog "plaster" better "mist"aka eggs)...sometimes not really frog, soaked basil seeds that are much like them.
                                                                                                    Double-cooked frog eggs in coconut juice, heap good!

                                                                                                    1. re: buttertart
                                                                                                      buttertart Feb 20, 2010 06:22 AM

                                                                                                      Just to be a prig about this, the website guy should try translating things into Chinese with the aid of an English-Chinese dictionary and see what he comes up with.

                                                                                                      1. re: buttertart
                                                                                                        j
                                                                                                        jumpingmonk Feb 20, 2010 06:55 AM

                                                                                                        another set of classics I found from an old menu in dresden

                                                                                                        Limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in shape of finger.
                                                                                                        Roast duck let loose.
                                                                                                        Rashers beaten up in country people style

                                                                                                        Note an uncle of mine said he saw something similar to the last one on a menu in the former USSR in the 1950's, except there it was a Chicken Cultlet "Beaten up, in the manner of a peasant"

                                                                                                        1. re: jumpingmonk
                                                                                                          buttertart Feb 20, 2010 07:16 AM

                                                                                                          Nice...the last has a whiff of Mad magazine parody!

                                                                                                          1. re: jumpingmonk
                                                                                                            alkapal Mar 4, 2010 04:18 AM

                                                                                                            >>>>Chicken Cultlet "Beaten up, in the manner of a peasant"<<<

                                                                                                            golly gee, jumpingmonk, you made me guffaw with that one!

                                                                                                            "oh yes, madam, we beat the cutlets just like we beat the peasants! " hahahahaha.

                                                                                                            1. re: alkapal
                                                                                                              j
                                                                                                              jumpingmonk Mar 4, 2010 10:22 AM

                                                                                                              from a translated chinese cookbook, whose transaltor appears to have either made a typo or gotten a very bad transaltion dictonary (I hope!)

                                                                                                              "First, wash and rape the sweet potato.........."

                                                                                                              1. re: jumpingmonk
                                                                                                                Parigi Mar 4, 2010 12:05 PM

                                                                                                                O groan. The cookbook translator must have confused English and French. Râper means to shred.

                                                                                                                1. re: Parigi
                                                                                                                  thew Mar 4, 2010 02:29 PM

                                                                                                                  it's so much nicer when the sweet potato consents

                                                                                                        2. re: buttertart
                                                                                                          buttertart Feb 20, 2010 07:17 AM

                                                                                                          Re "frog plaster"- Come to think of it, not eggs, sperm!
                                                                                                          Damn editing duplication!!!

                                                                                                          1. re: buttertart
                                                                                                            alkapal Mar 4, 2010 04:21 AM

                                                                                                            gives new meaning to the phrase "i got plastered last night."

                                                                                                  3. f
                                                                                                    foodiesnorth Dec 27, 2009 11:55 PM

                                                                                                    I almost split a gut sitting here in the LAS airport waiting for my much delayed aircraft...my only contributions (from memory) come from a) Rankin Inlet, Nunavut, Canada's Siniktarvik Hotel..Chocolate Mouse (which given the state of the place MAY not be a misprint) and b) the "goat droppings" listed in the English version of a Reims France menu. I posted this previously and was advised it was a very fine product indeed!

                                                                                                    11 Replies
                                                                                                    1. re: foodiesnorth
                                                                                                      j
                                                                                                      jumpingmonk Dec 28, 2009 05:11 AM

                                                                                                      "goat droppings may me a mistranslation of "crottin" (the cheese); that literally means "turd"

                                                                                                      1. re: jumpingmonk
                                                                                                        f
                                                                                                        foodiesnorth Dec 28, 2009 11:48 AM

                                                                                                        Actually it was "droppings of goat" listed on the menu my SO reminds me and yes I found out later it was a form of cheese...lol

                                                                                                        1. re: foodiesnorth
                                                                                                          j
                                                                                                          jumpingmonk Dec 28, 2009 02:38 PM

                                                                                                          Well, Crottin means "dropping", and crottins the cheese are goat milk so you can see where they might have gotten the idea.

                                                                                                          1. re: jumpingmonk
                                                                                                            watercress Jan 5, 2010 10:55 AM

                                                                                                            What a fun topic.
                                                                                                            I just saw a sign in an asian produce place out here in the stix for "Poburrano Peppers"

                                                                                                      2. re: foodiesnorth
                                                                                                        nsenada Jan 12, 2010 04:02 PM

                                                                                                        I just saw a menu listing a rabbit dish that contained "rabbi mousse"

                                                                                                        1. re: nsenada
                                                                                                          alkapal Jan 12, 2010 04:31 PM

                                                                                                          oy vey!

                                                                                                          1. re: alkapal
                                                                                                            Paulustrious Jan 13, 2010 07:12 AM

                                                                                                            Cooked in a deep fat friar.

                                                                                                            1. re: Paulustrious
                                                                                                              nsenada Jan 13, 2010 07:15 AM

                                                                                                              with Old Monk reduction

                                                                                                          2. re: nsenada
                                                                                                            s
                                                                                                            small h Jan 12, 2010 06:45 PM

                                                                                                            Yikes. Sounds like a milchig/fleischig mix - traferama!

                                                                                                            1. re: small h
                                                                                                              nsenada Jan 13, 2010 06:26 AM

                                                                                                              They really need to clarify this - a non-dairy foam would probably be OK...

                                                                                                            2. re: nsenada
                                                                                                              r
                                                                                                              rockycat Jan 13, 2010 06:17 AM

                                                                                                              A little off topic, but one congregational contract I was asked to read over clearly discussed the "Rabbit's" salary and terms of employment. I conjured up some very interesting images and no small amount of poorly stifled giggles.

                                                                                                          3. a
                                                                                                            anakalia Dec 16, 2009 04:37 AM

                                                                                                            Every so often in France, I see a bad English menu translation that says "Salad with corn, tomato, lawyer, carrot."

                                                                                                            avocat = avocado OR lawyer in French. Whoops.

                                                                                                            And this one may not really be a mistake, but my husband and I were recently at a restaurant in France and we didn't know the word "biche" which was the special of the day. The waitress, who spoke a little English, must have looked in a dictionary because she told us, very tentatively, that it was "doooooww."
                                                                                                            We were so confused, and all three started doing pantomimes, or asking questions like, "Is it in a forest?" "Is it big?" She made antlers and then we figured out it was some sort of venison. And THEN it all made sense.

                                                                                                            Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but in English, do we really differentiate between a doe and a deer on a menu? I've never seen "doe."

                                                                                                            11 Replies
                                                                                                            1. re: anakalia
                                                                                                              alkapal Dec 16, 2009 05:04 AM

                                                                                                              i've seen "venison."
                                                                                                              ~~~~~
                                                                                                              come to think of it, i don't know if my nephew ever shoots a doe -- only bucks.

                                                                                                              1. re: alkapal
                                                                                                                r
                                                                                                                rockycat Dec 16, 2009 05:33 AM

                                                                                                                The Spouse prefers bringing down smaller does. There's more testosterone-laden glory in taking down a large buck but for eating, the Spouse believes the meat of young does is more tender and makes for a better meal.

                                                                                                                1. re: rockycat
                                                                                                                  alkapal Dec 16, 2009 05:42 AM

                                                                                                                  makes sense. i'm going to ask my nephew next time i see him. (and he does have a wall of glory, and this time of year they get santa hats).

                                                                                                                  1. re: alkapal
                                                                                                                    KaimukiMan Dec 17, 2009 12:39 PM

                                                                                                                    would it be off subject to get a picture of that?

                                                                                                                  2. re: rockycat
                                                                                                                    StriperGuy Dec 17, 2009 10:00 AM

                                                                                                                    It's only recently that bagging female deer was legal in most northeastern states in the U.S. It used to be legal only to bag stags. But the population exploded so badly now they are all fair game as they say.

                                                                                                                2. re: anakalia
                                                                                                                  visciole Dec 16, 2009 08:49 AM

                                                                                                                  I had a similar experience... the waiter told us it was "la femme" of the deer. Ha-ha! I've never seen a menu in the U.S. differentiate between male and female venision, but the French are on a loftier food plane altogether....

                                                                                                                  By the way, I agree with the spouse of Rockycat below. The doe is better.

                                                                                                                  1. re: visciole
                                                                                                                    j
                                                                                                                    jumpingmonk Dec 16, 2009 01:54 PM

                                                                                                                    I know I'm going to be crucified for even asking it, but how about faun? is that better still?

                                                                                                                    Speaing of funny mistransations someone I met in Chinatown (while waiting for one of my food orders told me a great one) apprently a friend of his (whose knowledge of Chinese cusine was not all that deep got a job at a more "ethnic" and "high end" (read "more that basic American") Chinese resturant transalting thier menu into English. One of the dishes on the menu was XO prawns (prawns with XO sauce) unfamilar with XO saucem he proceeded to translate it as "Prawns with Hugs and Kisses"!

                                                                                                                    1. re: jumpingmonk
                                                                                                                      alkapal Dec 17, 2009 04:27 AM

                                                                                                                      at least in florida, specifically, it is prohibited to take spotted fawn deer or swimming deer http://myfwc.com/docs/RecreationActivities/Hunt_2009-10_RegulationsHandBook.pdf

                                                                                                                      """Identifying Does and Fawns"" http://www.huntingpa.com/Aging%20deer...

                                                                                                                      1. re: jumpingmonk
                                                                                                                        r
                                                                                                                        rockycat Dec 17, 2009 05:26 AM

                                                                                                                        Yes, in most areas taking a fawn is illegal. A faun, however, is another story altogether.

                                                                                                                        1. re: rockycat
                                                                                                                          bushwickgirl Dec 17, 2009 10:04 AM

                                                                                                                          A very distinctive difference, I might add, if you could find a faun to start with...

                                                                                                                          1. re: bushwickgirl
                                                                                                                            j
                                                                                                                            jumpingmonk Dec 25, 2009 01:24 PM

                                                                                                                            In an odd reverse (in that the typo makes the dish sound better, not worse) a lot of Chinatown menus I've seen write Dungeness (as in crab) as "Dungless" I want to say "I sure as hell HOPE so, I don't want to eat crab with dung."

                                                                                                                  2. j
                                                                                                                    jecolicious Dec 10, 2009 02:53 PM

                                                                                                                    At one of those quick turn and burns that serve rice bowls in the Taiwan night markets:

                                                                                                                    Chicken Bowel.

                                                                                                                    3 Replies
                                                                                                                    1. re: jecolicious
                                                                                                                      BobB Dec 11, 2009 06:25 AM

                                                                                                                      The scary part - in a Taiwan street market, that might not have been a typo.

                                                                                                                      1. re: BobB
                                                                                                                        Sam Fujisaka Dec 11, 2009 08:50 AM

                                                                                                                        Just the contrary: the non-typo case in a Tawanese street market would probably mean some delicious treat.

                                                                                                                        1. re: Sam Fujisaka
                                                                                                                          StriperGuy Dec 11, 2009 11:18 AM

                                                                                                                          Precisely.

                                                                                                                    2. JungMann Dec 10, 2009 10:38 AM

                                                                                                                      Courtesy of Midtown Lunch, another product mislabelling.
                                                                                                                      http://midtownlunch.com/2009/12/10/i-...

                                                                                                                      3 Replies
                                                                                                                      1. re: JungMann
                                                                                                                        StriperGuy Dec 10, 2009 11:34 AM

                                                                                                                        Ouch, poor Carla.

                                                                                                                        1. re: JungMann
                                                                                                                          s
                                                                                                                          soupkitten Dec 10, 2009 02:42 PM

                                                                                                                          i think this is absolutely hysterical. calamari will always = carla marie for me now-- thanks!

                                                                                                                          1. re: soupkitten
                                                                                                                            KaimukiMan Dec 15, 2009 09:30 AM

                                                                                                                            oh..im so dense, thank you soup, even after looking at the pic I never made the translation to calamari. yep, carla marie it is from this day hence, enunciated clearly when ordering.

                                                                                                                        2. Parigi Dec 4, 2009 12:51 AM

                                                                                                                          How can I forget the seafood restaurant - and a very good one - in Milbrae (SF bay area) called Fook Yuen?

                                                                                                                          1 Reply
                                                                                                                          1. re: Parigi
                                                                                                                            KaimukiMan Dec 5, 2009 01:49 PM

                                                                                                                            we have one in HNL as well... on a previous post someone said translation means something like beautiful garden (or something like that) and it was culturally insensitive to ridicule the name.

                                                                                                                            Seems to me that there was some cultural blindness to naming it that.

                                                                                                                            After all, I would not name a water-front restaurant in Pusan the Ship's Pal, which would approximate closely what the restaurant in Milbrae did. Or maybe I should and put a patent on the name. (no... ship's pal does not come close to "beautiful garden" in Korean)

                                                                                                                          2. Parigi Dec 2, 2009 03:26 PM

                                                                                                                            In Thailand I have seen "roast crap" on several menus in different restaurants. Gets more confusing than that: sometimes I got crab. Other times I got carp. (Never got crap.)

                                                                                                                            Years ago in a café near the Louvre in Paris, the menu boasted "roach beef sandwich".

                                                                                                                            In one of my fave Chinese restos in Paris, one of the specialties is said to be "the chef's kidney". Same thing in the French menu: "les rognons du chef".

                                                                                                                            None of your Chinese menu finds can compare with the machine-translated menus in mainland China. In China, fried noodle somehow has been translated as "f**k noodle" on the menu of thousands of restaurants; now it has become a standard translation. AM NOT KIDDING.
                                                                                                                            http://www.flickr.com/photos/xiaming/70761148/
                                                                                                                            This is a real treasure:
                                                                                                                            http://www.rahoi.com/2006/03/may-i-ta...

                                                                                                                            5 Replies
                                                                                                                            1. re: Parigi
                                                                                                                              j
                                                                                                                              jumpingmonk Dec 2, 2009 04:47 PM

                                                                                                                              I've seen Fu Kan fried rice written often as..... well you can guess. The last time I tried I tried to order it (from a waiter unfamialr with their meu) I felt like I was doing a bad Jack Nicolson impression!

                                                                                                                              Speaking of impressions It's been mentioned ealier but I've always wondered just what is in "fried rice from hell". Is it very spicy, or did some Chinese resturanteur just really love Richard Lewis?

                                                                                                                              1. re: Parigi
                                                                                                                                Paulustrious Dec 3, 2009 05:49 AM

                                                                                                                                Did you notice that the Chinese script for the ginger dip looked remarkably like f**k ?

                                                                                                                                1. re: Paulustrious
                                                                                                                                  l
                                                                                                                                  Leonardo Dec 3, 2009 08:29 AM

                                                                                                                                  I've seen "Main Curse" on a few Thai menus.

                                                                                                                                  http://www.engrish.com/2009/12/its-fun-to-speculate-what-you-will-get/
                                                                                                                                  "Barbecue Speculation", "Explosion Belly", "It seems Honey", "Coke Fried Beef".

                                                                                                                                  http://www.engrish.com/2009/12/what-kind-of-business-hotel/
                                                                                                                                  "His Wife Juice"

                                                                                                                                  And my favorite: http://www.engrish.com/2009/11/we-got...
                                                                                                                                  "Calzone Funghi Ham: Derived from Italian, trousers, topped with ham and like a dumping."

                                                                                                                                2. re: Parigi
                                                                                                                                  s
                                                                                                                                  sganarelle Dec 6, 2009 01:08 AM

                                                                                                                                  My favorite of all time was at a Hunanese Restaurant in Suzhou (just West of Shanghai). The glossy menu complete with Chinese and English names had one dish called: "Chicken with stir fried f**kness" (naturally, this was mougu, and therefore "fungus". They have since changed the menu.

                                                                                                                                  1. re: sganarelle
                                                                                                                                    Parigi Dec 6, 2009 03:13 AM

                                                                                                                                    Hilarious. (And your nom de guerre is excellent.)

                                                                                                                                3. RetiredChef Dec 2, 2009 11:55 AM

                                                                                                                                  Delicious Stakes

                                                                                                                                  Hunger Steak

                                                                                                                                  Served with Wild Lice.

                                                                                                                                  Juicy balls with milky cream

                                                                                                                                  Boneless T-Bone Steak

                                                                                                                                  Holland days sauce – this was on a special board so we told the manager it was spelt wrong and it was one word. He changed it to Hollandays sauce

                                                                                                                                  Fresh locally grown Raspberries (It was February in Portland)

                                                                                                                                  In a Thai restaurant
                                                                                                                                  “Spiciness: on a scale of 1 to 1”

                                                                                                                                  In Chinese Restaurants
                                                                                                                                  Your choice of chicken, beef, or dork.
                                                                                                                                  Tea Smoking Duck

                                                                                                                                  In a Mexican Restaurant
                                                                                                                                  Try one of our bloody mary’s a perfect cure for your hamover.

                                                                                                                                  And over Thanksgiving weekend in Washington DC on a menu board “Tuna Tar-Tar.”

                                                                                                                                  7 Replies
                                                                                                                                  1. re: RetiredChef
                                                                                                                                    j
                                                                                                                                    jumpingmonk Dec 2, 2009 12:11 PM

                                                                                                                                    The first Chinese one is even funnier if you know the actual, by the dictionary definition of "dork". Guess they aren't kidding when they say the chinese use EVERY part of the animal!

                                                                                                                                    1. re: jumpingmonk
                                                                                                                                      Paulustrious Dec 3, 2009 05:40 AM

                                                                                                                                      Fu Yao, Toronto. This is a supermarket rather than a restaurant. It sells frozen Cow's Penis.

                                                                                                                                      1. re: Paulustrious
                                                                                                                                        KaimukiMan Dec 3, 2009 03:24 PM

                                                                                                                                        recipes?

                                                                                                                                        1. re: KaimukiMan
                                                                                                                                          buttertart Dec 4, 2009 04:55 AM

                                                                                                                                          It - or at least "bull's pizzle" as more accurately/quaintly named on menus in Taiwan - is served in soup among other ways. Have eaten it once, not terribly tasty, texture about what you would imagine (or probably don't want to).

                                                                                                                                          1. re: buttertart
                                                                                                                                            alkapal Dec 5, 2009 03:44 AM

                                                                                                                                            fo' shizzle, m' pizzle! *_*

                                                                                                                                            1. re: alkapal
                                                                                                                                              buttertart Dec 7, 2009 05:09 AM

                                                                                                                                              You slay me, dear Alka! Fo' shiz.

                                                                                                                                          2. re: KaimukiMan
                                                                                                                                            Paulustrious Dec 4, 2009 05:08 AM

                                                                                                                                            http://britishfood.about.com/od/intro...

                                                                                                                                    2. haggisdragon Dec 2, 2009 09:46 AM

                                                                                                                                      The other evening, I was at an Ethiopian restaurant that listed 'bad weiser' as one of its beer selections. I enjoyed that one.

                                                                                                                                      2 Replies
                                                                                                                                      1. re: haggisdragon
                                                                                                                                        linguafood Dec 2, 2009 10:14 AM

                                                                                                                                        It doesn't strike me as a misnomer '-)

                                                                                                                                        1. re: haggisdragon
                                                                                                                                          kubasd Dec 10, 2009 05:53 PM

                                                                                                                                          I think they got it exactly right :-)

                                                                                                                                        2. bushwickgirl Dec 1, 2009 05:13 AM

                                                                                                                                          When I'm having a bad day, I re-read this post and everything in the world is much brighter again.
                                                                                                                                          Sign on the side of the building of my favorite pizza place, years ago in CT: Parking for costumes only. Come in and have a cool wine or beer.

                                                                                                                                          Guess they couldn't spare the refrigeration.

                                                                                                                                          2 Replies
                                                                                                                                          1. re: bushwickgirl
                                                                                                                                            BobB Dec 1, 2009 07:48 AM

                                                                                                                                            Reminds me of a place in Somerville, MA called DiTuccis. I'm not sure if it's still there, but the sign in front used to read,

                                                                                                                                            . . DiTuccis . .
                                                                                                                                            Parking in rear

                                                                                                                                            It always cracked me up, but you have to know a little Yiddish (Yiddish tuchis = the sittable part of one's anatomy) to get the joke.

                                                                                                                                            1. re: BobB
                                                                                                                                              bushwickgirl Dec 1, 2009 09:07 AM

                                                                                                                                              Yes, I knew that and it's very funny.
                                                                                                                                              This particular thread just cracks me up over and over.

                                                                                                                                          2. visciole Nov 25, 2009 07:13 PM

                                                                                                                                            My all-time favorite, seen on a sandwich board listing specials outside an upper west side diner:

                                                                                                                                            Monte Crisco Sandwich

                                                                                                                                            Mmmmm! Too bad about the trans-fat ban, there goes their biggest seller!

                                                                                                                                            1. w
                                                                                                                                              weezycom Nov 25, 2009 01:29 PM

                                                                                                                                              Not the menu, but the sign outside a chinese restaurant that had just opened (in a former, remodeled gas station): We services cocktails.

                                                                                                                                              I always imagined a martini on the lift

                                                                                                                                              1 Reply
                                                                                                                                              1. re: weezycom
                                                                                                                                                j
                                                                                                                                                jumpingmonk Nov 25, 2009 04:01 PM

                                                                                                                                                Just noticed one on a menu today. While trying to place an order to 88 reach house. I noiced that while most of the versions of New Years rice cake were indeed listed as "new Years rice cake" the version with the shredded pork (which was in a sepereate area on the menu has is miswritten "New York Rice Cake".

                                                                                                                                              2. JungMann Nov 24, 2009 11:58 AM

                                                                                                                                                Not quite a menu but one of the Chinese butchers I frequent has a freezer full of partridges all labeled "Patrick." Funny, but understandable. The green grocer across the street, however, has trumpet mushrooms labeled as "Fresh Prince."

                                                                                                                                                4 Replies
                                                                                                                                                1. re: JungMann
                                                                                                                                                  linguafood Nov 24, 2009 12:14 PM

                                                                                                                                                  I don't get it.

                                                                                                                                                  1. re: JungMann
                                                                                                                                                    buttertart Nov 24, 2009 12:30 PM

                                                                                                                                                    Patrick is cute. The mushrooms are prince mushrooms (huangzi gu) in Chinese so Fresh Prince is understandable and amusing. (I was once asked by the produce guy in our supermarket for the English name of Swiss chard. He apparently thought I said "chart" - probably because chard is not a terribly common word - and Swiss chart it is labeled to this day.)

                                                                                                                                                    1. re: buttertart
                                                                                                                                                      JungMann Nov 24, 2009 12:39 PM

                                                                                                                                                      That is a fascinating coincidence. We thought it very unlikely these grocers had enough familiarity with pop culture to be referencing Will Smith but simply couldn't figure out how they went from trumpet mushroom to Fresh Prince!

                                                                                                                                                      1. re: JungMann
                                                                                                                                                        buttertart Nov 24, 2009 01:24 PM

                                                                                                                                                        I'm still stuck on Patrick, would appear to be a transcribed mishearing of partridge. It kills me!

                                                                                                                                                  2. aussiewonder Nov 23, 2009 09:21 PM

                                                                                                                                                    I'll never forget seeing this on a roadside sandwich board in Baltimore when I first moved there:
                                                                                                                                                    Why not give your Mother Crabs this Mother's Day??

                                                                                                                                                    1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                    1. re: aussiewonder
                                                                                                                                                      StriperGuy Nov 23, 2009 11:08 PM

                                                                                                                                                      Please tell me it was a bit of a joke, please ;-).

                                                                                                                                                    2. KaimukiMan Nov 23, 2009 05:39 PM

                                                                                                                                                      Maybe not quite a gaffe, but a new restaurant here has an interesting section on their menu

                                                                                                                                                      "Himalayan Seafood"

                                                                                                                                                      gives one pause doesn't it. (think geography people, geography)

                                                                                                                                                      oh the food there is really good.
                                                                                                                                                      http://www.himalayankitchen.net/docum...

                                                                                                                                                      ps: as with most of these, the intent is not to ridicule anyone, just to get a chuckle out of what happens when they don't quite get the message across in the menu.

                                                                                                                                                      1. alkapal Nov 23, 2009 06:58 AM

                                                                                                                                                        i've been enjoying the engrish.com site recently.

                                                                                                                                                        anyhow, there is a local pizza chain that has "proscuitto" on it's painted overhead hanging menu, and it drives me nuts so that every time i'm there i tell them that it is spelled wrong. i tell them, "that spells "pro-squeet-o". then they look at me, and they have an expression like a very unconcerned bovine just waiting for the salt lick to be put out in the barn. oh...never mind.....

                                                                                                                                                        oh heck, just give me the mescaline salad, please.

                                                                                                                                                        2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                        1. re: alkapal
                                                                                                                                                          linguafood Nov 23, 2009 10:09 AM

                                                                                                                                                          OMG, I HATE, hate, hate it when "Italian" restos can't spell prosciutto right. How effing hard can it be, people?

                                                                                                                                                          1. re: linguafood
                                                                                                                                                            j
                                                                                                                                                            jumpingmonk Nov 23, 2009 12:49 PM

                                                                                                                                                            couple more
                                                                                                                                                            (once again with Chinese) there are a couple of dishes wich describe parts of the dish as "old". Usally they mean "old fashioned or in the "old", classic style (Old Shanghai rice cakes might be a good example of that (that dish itself took some courace to get around to trying since being a westerner I'm used to imagining rice cakes as being dry hoceky puck like things you eat when you trying to seriosly cut calories and had difficuly imaginging them as something that would make a nice stir fry dish (FTI of anyone who hasnt eaten them, the rice cakes in question are more like very thick rice nooodles (you also see them lised as new years cake and they're analagous to Korean rice cakes and Phillipine putto) and are in fact addictively delicious (Old Shaghai Style usally means stir fried with shredded pork and preserved cabbage) However there are two that don't fit this model I've bumped into. One place serves sometihng called "chicken stewed with the old ginger" which I think means with ordinary ginger as opposed to the young white kind that some duck recipes rely on. Its not half bad though I have discovered best left as an "eat in" dish only (this has nothing to do with mess, its just that they tend to chop the chicken up with a cleaver into bit sized peices if you do takeout (to it it in the container) and so you end up fishing hundereds of razor sharp bone fragments out of you mouth) the sconed is a place in Midtown Manhattan that severs what they call "old duck soup" the part that makes me giggle with this is that I think they mean it in the sense of "used" I really do think they make the stock by taking all of the bones and scraps lefover from the Peking ducks people ordered as well as the shredded duck dishes and tossing them in the stock kettle. The only thing I wonder about is whether there also tossing in the leftovers of the duck that people are actually leaving on thier plates (i.e. the gnawed bones)(I know I migh do something like that at home, but I suspect you cant do that in a public resturaunt) Great soup BTW.

                                                                                                                                                            and to conclud a sigh I saw once in a resturant that amde me ownder if we were going to be doing improv theatre, "please wait to be the seat"

                                                                                                                                                        2. shaogo Nov 20, 2009 12:28 PM

                                                                                                                                                          A common error in the Sichuan restaurants we dine at is to translate beef tendon as "beef tender." I can only imagine puzzled diners expecting a tenderloin and instead getting a plate full of what can be described as gristle!

                                                                                                                                                          2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                          1. re: shaogo
                                                                                                                                                            j
                                                                                                                                                            jumpingmonk Nov 22, 2009 04:57 PM

                                                                                                                                                            especially when you consider that, at least in the US a "chicken tender"" is a kind of breaded chiken nugget.

                                                                                                                                                            One of my faviorties was a NYC midtown Chinese resturaunt called "Hsin Yu" just off Dag Plaza (long since closed) I never actually ate there (given that fact that it's ultimate closing seems to have been by the Heath Deaperment, that may not be a bad thing) but I did once pick up one of thier menus and I remember two funny mispellings. The minor one was "Lobster and style" (I'm assuming they meant "any") the Major one was something called "Three Muskiest with vegetables" (may they meant "fragrant"

                                                                                                                                                            I asl remember some resuturant somewhre whose menu proudly boasted "we serve people like you as good food"

                                                                                                                                                            I'm also suprised that no-one mentioned the Chinese alcoholic drink Pingba Jaojui with its slogan "High smell with good smell, sweet be after drunk, with long smell" or the plese that offer Scoth whiskey "made from Scotland's finest grapes"

                                                                                                                                                            1. re: jumpingmonk
                                                                                                                                                              carbocat Jan 15, 2010 01:08 PM

                                                                                                                                                              your post has more typos than the menus you're talking about :P lol

                                                                                                                                                          2. l
                                                                                                                                                            LabRat Nov 20, 2009 11:57 AM

                                                                                                                                                            Not really a menu gaffe per se, but the DriectTV guide description for an episode of Rick Bayless' "Mexico: One Plate at a Time" indicated that he would be making "Crap Salpicon".

                                                                                                                                                            1. greygarious Nov 20, 2009 10:34 AM

                                                                                                                                                              For some chuckles to relieve Thanksgiving stress, here are some beauties, collected by Richard Lederer, that appeared last spring in the Mensa Bulletin:
                                                                                                                                                              WHORES DOVER AND SOUP:
                                                                                                                                                              Gritty Balloons inSoup
                                                                                                                                                              Barely Soup
                                                                                                                                                              Limpid Red Beet Soup with Cheesy Dumplings in the Form of a Finger
                                                                                                                                                              Fisherman's Crap Soup
                                                                                                                                                              Soap of the Day
                                                                                                                                                              Flesh Soup
                                                                                                                                                              SALAD:
                                                                                                                                                              Salad, a Firm's Own Make
                                                                                                                                                              Groin Salad
                                                                                                                                                              MEAT:
                                                                                                                                                              Buff Steak
                                                                                                                                                              Gut Casserole
                                                                                                                                                              Warm Little Dogs
                                                                                                                                                              Calf Pluck
                                                                                                                                                              Pork with Fresh Garbage
                                                                                                                                                              Boiled Sheep
                                                                                                                                                              Special Big Leg
                                                                                                                                                              Meat Dumping
                                                                                                                                                              Beef Rashers Beaten Up in the Country People's Fashion
                                                                                                                                                              Tortilla with Chili, Cheese, Sour Cream and Glaucoma
                                                                                                                                                              Hambugger
                                                                                                                                                              Dreaded Veal Cutlets
                                                                                                                                                              Sir Loin Steak
                                                                                                                                                              Sour Pig's Fore Shank
                                                                                                                                                              Live Wurst
                                                                                                                                                              Amiable and Sour Pork
                                                                                                                                                              POULTRY:
                                                                                                                                                              Lightly Flowered Breast of Chicken
                                                                                                                                                              Bosom of Chicken
                                                                                                                                                              Frayed Chicken
                                                                                                                                                              Utmost Chicken with Smashed Pot
                                                                                                                                                              Sweat from the Turkey
                                                                                                                                                              Foul Breast
                                                                                                                                                              Utmost of Chicken Fried in Bother
                                                                                                                                                              Hen Fried with Butler
                                                                                                                                                              Goose Barnacles
                                                                                                                                                              Roaasted Duck Let Loose
                                                                                                                                                              SEAFOOD:
                                                                                                                                                              Muscles in Sailor's Sauce
                                                                                                                                                              Dead Shrimp on Warm Vegetables
                                                                                                                                                              Sea Blubber in a Spicy Sauce
                                                                                                                                                              Drunken Prawns in Spit
                                                                                                                                                              Shrimp in a Casket
                                                                                                                                                              MISCELLANEOUS OR UNIDENTIFIABLE;
                                                                                                                                                              Muffled Frog Rumps
                                                                                                                                                              Pasta Fungus
                                                                                                                                                              Spaghetti Fongoole
                                                                                                                                                              Slugs in Spit
                                                                                                                                                              Bird Bowels
                                                                                                                                                              Withered Peper Paste Sauce
                                                                                                                                                              Toes with Butter and Jam
                                                                                                                                                              Cold Shredded Children
                                                                                                                                                              Fried Hormones
                                                                                                                                                              Fried Convoluted Watch
                                                                                                                                                              Anti Pasta
                                                                                                                                                              Baked Zit
                                                                                                                                                              Spleen Omelet
                                                                                                                                                              Children Sandwich
                                                                                                                                                              Eight Treasurers
                                                                                                                                                              Buttered Saucepans
                                                                                                                                                              Mixed Boils to Pick
                                                                                                                                                              Full Coarse Meal
                                                                                                                                                              VEGETABLES:
                                                                                                                                                              Priest Fainted Eggplant Dish
                                                                                                                                                              Muchrooms
                                                                                                                                                              Backed Beans
                                                                                                                                                              Mushed Potatoes
                                                                                                                                                              Potato Cheeps
                                                                                                                                                              Fried Rice from Hell
                                                                                                                                                              Cabitch
                                                                                                                                                              Raped Carrots
                                                                                                                                                              French Fried Ships
                                                                                                                                                              Mad Apples
                                                                                                                                                              DESSERTS:
                                                                                                                                                              Fire Pudding with Hard Sauce
                                                                                                                                                              Honey Do
                                                                                                                                                              Straqwberry Crap
                                                                                                                                                              Rice Kooky
                                                                                                                                                              Lady's Finger
                                                                                                                                                              Chocolate Sand Cookies
                                                                                                                                                              Pie Tongue
                                                                                                                                                              Tart of the House
                                                                                                                                                              Pustache Ice Cream
                                                                                                                                                              Chocolate Mouse Tort
                                                                                                                                                              Finest Moldy Cheese
                                                                                                                                                              BEVERAGES:
                                                                                                                                                              White Whine
                                                                                                                                                              Fried Milk
                                                                                                                                                              Turkey Coffee
                                                                                                                                                              Special Cocktails for Women with Nuts
                                                                                                                                                              Flesh Juice
                                                                                                                                                              Lemon Jews
                                                                                                                                                              Garlic Coffee
                                                                                                                                                              PHRASES AND ADS:
                                                                                                                                                              "Mr. Zheng and his fellow workers like to meet you and entertain you with their hostility and unique cooking techniques."
                                                                                                                                                              "As for the tripe served here, you will be singing its praises to your grandchildren on your deathbed."
                                                                                                                                                              "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."
                                                                                                                                                              "You will be able to eat all you wish until you are fed up!"
                                                                                                                                                              "Our establishment serves tea in a bag like mother."
                                                                                                                                                              "Guests are advised that all fruits served here have been washed in water passed by the management."
                                                                                                                                                              "You are invited to visit our restaurant where you can eat the Middle East Foods in a European ambulance."
                                                                                                                                                              "Teppan Yaki -- Before your cooked right eyes."

                                                                                                                                                              12 Replies
                                                                                                                                                              1. re: greygarious
                                                                                                                                                                StriperGuy Nov 20, 2009 12:26 PM

                                                                                                                                                                Well I will only quibble about two of them:

                                                                                                                                                                Goose Barnacles are a VERY pricey Spanish delicacy:
                                                                                                                                                                http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goose_ba...

                                                                                                                                                                And Priest Fainted Eggplant Dish is a literal translation of a classic Italian dish.

                                                                                                                                                                1. re: StriperGuy
                                                                                                                                                                  r
                                                                                                                                                                  rockycat Nov 23, 2009 06:42 AM

                                                                                                                                                                  Actually, "The Priest Fainted" is Imam Bayaldi (or Bayildi), a Turkish dish that translates to "the imam fainted." Supposedly he fainted because his wife's eggplant dish tasted so good.

                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: rockycat
                                                                                                                                                                    StriperGuy Nov 23, 2009 08:22 AM

                                                                                                                                                                    Hah, funny maybe I made up the Italian part. Turkish sounds more like it...

                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: StriperGuy
                                                                                                                                                                      s
                                                                                                                                                                      soupkitten Nov 24, 2009 12:18 AM

                                                                                                                                                                      i think you may be thinking of strozzapretti-- literally, "priest stranglers"--an italian pasta?

                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: soupkitten
                                                                                                                                                                        StriperGuy Nov 24, 2009 05:36 AM

                                                                                                                                                                        Hmmmm, that's a good one.

                                                                                                                                                                        I thought it had to do with a priest fainting though. Even asked an Italian friend and they said no fainting priest dishes that they knew of...

                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: StriperGuy
                                                                                                                                                                          alkapal Nov 24, 2009 05:59 AM

                                                                                                                                                                          imams faint.
                                                                                                                                                                          priests get strangled.

                                                                                                                                                                          for some other funny italian stuff, watch conan and mario in this cooking demo: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6qCC1...

                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: StriperGuy
                                                                                                                                                                            Sam Fujisaka Nov 24, 2009 06:07 AM

                                                                                                                                                                            There is always strozzapreti, "choke the priest" (spinach and ricotta dumplings).

                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Sam Fujisaka
                                                                                                                                                                              linguafood Nov 24, 2009 11:41 AM

                                                                                                                                                                              Those are malfatti, no? Of course, any misshapen pasta could be called malfatti. Strozzapetri is just a pasta shape AFAIK, not necessarily spinach and ricotta dumplings.

                                                                                                                                                                      2. re: rockycat
                                                                                                                                                                        linguafood Nov 23, 2009 10:07 AM

                                                                                                                                                                        I always heard it was due to the insane amount of garlic used in that dish...

                                                                                                                                                                    2. re: greygarious
                                                                                                                                                                      d
                                                                                                                                                                      dump123456789 Nov 22, 2009 09:08 AM

                                                                                                                                                                      Fried milk is not a drink or a mistake, but rather a dessert in which a block of custard is coated and deep fried.

                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: dump123456789
                                                                                                                                                                        StriperGuy Nov 23, 2009 06:14 AM

                                                                                                                                                                        Agree, I almost flagged that one myself.

                                                                                                                                                                      2. re: greygarious
                                                                                                                                                                        alkapal Nov 23, 2009 06:53 AM

                                                                                                                                                                        my dad would joke about "horse doovers." ;-).

                                                                                                                                                                      3. f
                                                                                                                                                                        flourgrrrl Sep 27, 2008 10:30 PM

                                                                                                                                                                        I'm afraid I am responsible for my most memorable menu gaffe. As an American chef just beginning my job at a country house hotel in Scotland I put an Alsatian onion tart on the menu - meaning of course an onion tart made in the style of the Alsace region of France. What I didn't know at the time was that in Scotland an Alsatian is a German Shepherd! And we all know how the Brits are about their pets; the UK had a Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals before it had a similar organization protecting children.

                                                                                                                                                                        It took me ages to figure out why that damned tart wasn't selling!

                                                                                                                                                                        1. s
                                                                                                                                                                          soxlover Sep 22, 2008 09:01 PM

                                                                                                                                                                          OMG, I'm sick from laughing! I work in a restaurant with a charming server from China who tells customers we have "prima ribba". She said when she travelled back to China with her American husband his favorite part of the trip was reading all the badly translated signs. I was puzzled recently when she kept saying that everyone needed to correct the wine menus (what exactly was wrong?). Then I realized she meant they needed to be gathered up and returned to the host station!

                                                                                                                                                                          1. a
                                                                                                                                                                            adamshoe Sep 22, 2008 04:33 PM

                                                                                                                                                                            Braised short ribs served with over roasted vegetables...

                                                                                                                                                                            1. n
                                                                                                                                                                              nkeane Sep 18, 2008 09:49 PM

                                                                                                                                                                              admittingly i did not read all the posts in this thread, so if this is a duplicate I appologize!

                                                                                                                                                                              My friends and I make a game out of this when we try a new place. we all open the menu at the same time, and the person who finds a grammatical or typographical error first doesnt have to chip in on the tab!! also, i dont think we have ever not been able to find something!!!LOL.....

                                                                                                                                                                              1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: nkeane
                                                                                                                                                                                hill food Feb 24, 2010 10:54 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                nkeane: I like this game.

                                                                                                                                                                              2. s
                                                                                                                                                                                SamuelAt Sep 18, 2008 06:28 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                A very good and authentic Greek restaurant I have been to offers "Leg of Lamp". I recommend it with the lemon potatoes.

                                                                                                                                                                                1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: SamuelAt
                                                                                                                                                                                  eclecticsynergy Jul 19, 2011 11:28 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                  "Leg of Lamp" was featured in the movie A Christmas Story...

                                                                                                                                                                                2. JenBoes Sep 18, 2008 08:01 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                  We had lunch at a Thai restaurant recently with "pud thai" on the menu.

                                                                                                                                                                                  1. Jetgirly Sep 6, 2008 05:18 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                    I saw a really cute sign outside a restaurant in Barcelona: "English is espoken here."

                                                                                                                                                                                    1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Jetgirly
                                                                                                                                                                                      d
                                                                                                                                                                                      DianneYYC Sep 6, 2008 08:45 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                      In Calgary in the "yellow pages" about 3 years ago advertising one of the best restaurants. It had "Valley Parking" I love that.

                                                                                                                                                                                    2. roxlet Aug 18, 2008 05:45 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                      I just got back from 5 weeks in Cairo, and I had some good chuckles over skewered English on some menus. Here are some examples that made me laugh:
                                                                                                                                                                                      Tomatoes with old cheese
                                                                                                                                                                                      Veal warp by paper
                                                                                                                                                                                      Fried viagra (also available grilled with hot sauce, though presumably hot sauce is optional with viagra)
                                                                                                                                                                                      Friskies fajita sandwich
                                                                                                                                                                                      and last, but not least:
                                                                                                                                                                                      Chicken Sawerma Fart meal

                                                                                                                                                                                      4 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: roxlet
                                                                                                                                                                                        Catskillgirl Sep 7, 2008 02:03 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                        LOL at these! Classic. Thank you! The Friskies fajita sandwich still has me stymied.

                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Catskillgirl
                                                                                                                                                                                          alkapal Nov 23, 2009 06:52 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                          yeah, i'm thinkin' about friskies fajitas, too!

                                                                                                                                                                                        2. re: roxlet
                                                                                                                                                                                          c
                                                                                                                                                                                          cbrunelle Dec 13, 2009 03:44 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                          A very late response- they actually mean the viagra sandwiches. They're shrimp something sandwiches, and it has been explained to me that shrimp is considered an aphrodisiac by Egyptians. I find it absolutely hilarious to hear an extremely modest, veiled woman order a viagra sandwich.

                                                                                                                                                                                          Another funny Egypt one: there's a fast food chain called Gad, but half the items on their menu are spelled 'God.' So you can order God's Favorite Dishes, God's French Fries, and, the absolute best, God's Viagra Sandwiches.

                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: cbrunelle
                                                                                                                                                                                            roxlet Jan 14, 2010 01:18 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                            Yes, we love Gad, and usually say that "Gad is great!" Do you read Arabic? I don't think I ever saw a menu in English at Gad. It's Egyptian fast food at its best -- fuul, tameya, and schwerma.

                                                                                                                                                                                        3. h
                                                                                                                                                                                          Hot Chocolate Aug 13, 2008 10:32 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                          In Beijing.
                                                                                                                                                                                          resto owner used a free on line website to translate his restaurant name into english to be more western friendly for the olympics. So he had a new sign that said the english name of his restaurant: "Translate server error"

                                                                                                                                                                                          3 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Hot Chocolate
                                                                                                                                                                                            l
                                                                                                                                                                                            Leonardo Aug 13, 2008 10:38 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                            Is that an urban myth? I've heard this several times, yet have not seen a photo. Curious.

                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Leonardo
                                                                                                                                                                                              Peg Aug 14, 2008 01:19 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                              see...
                                                                                                                                                                                              http://failblog.org/page/13/

                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: Peg
                                                                                                                                                                                                t
                                                                                                                                                                                                TampaAurora Aug 16, 2008 08:10 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                Oh thank you for the laugh!

                                                                                                                                                                                          2. w
                                                                                                                                                                                            why_itsme Aug 13, 2008 02:09 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                            There's a small burger stand in my neighboor hood. They have so many mistakes it's just laughable. The two that stand out in my mind right now are "Chilly" and "Chilly Cheese Fries". Why would I want cold fries?

                                                                                                                                                                                            1. s
                                                                                                                                                                                              Sherri Aug 11, 2008 04:50 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                              Years ago, the Subic Bay Officers' Club in the Phillipines had a Wednesday night special featuring ROAST BEEP for pibe pibty-pibe ($5.55).

                                                                                                                                                                                              1. p
                                                                                                                                                                                                pickychicky1979 Aug 11, 2008 03:15 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                a local mexican place has a pork shop plate on their drive-thru menu

                                                                                                                                                                                                1. JenBoes Aug 11, 2008 12:33 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                  I've got one from a wine dinner I attended the other night. On the menu, it said the third course consisted of ricotta gnocci with braised duck, bee pollen, an assortment of other ingredients and "BEE BOMB." I and the other seven inquisitive souls at my table went poking through the dish in search of the intriguing "BEE BOMB." It turned out to be a mispelling for "bee balm."

                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. greygarious Aug 11, 2008 10:20 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                    There's a new Japanese place here offerring an entree whose ingredients include "cold duck wheat noodles". I discounted the cheap sparkling wine right away, positing that chilled cooked duck was part of the dish. Several minutes later I realized it's "cold buckwheat noodles". The bento box luncheon special means "choose any one..." but says "choke any one". I'm still trying to figure out "Negi-Hamachi Yellowtail, seditions" and "calm soup"....

                                                                                                                                                                                                    2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: greygarious
                                                                                                                                                                                                      Catskillgirl Sep 7, 2008 02:00 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                      One would need calm soup after the seditious fish! Love the duck wheat noodles as well.

                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Catskillgirl
                                                                                                                                                                                                        KaimukiMan Nov 20, 2009 01:16 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                        better duck wheat than duckweed

                                                                                                                                                                                                    2. q
                                                                                                                                                                                                      queencru Jun 5, 2008 02:49 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                      One of my favorite Chinese restaurants used to have a yummy dish called Snow White and the Sever Dwarves. Luckily there were no severed heads in the dish.

                                                                                                                                                                                                      5 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: queencru
                                                                                                                                                                                                        c
                                                                                                                                                                                                        caliking Jun 6, 2008 03:55 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                        Seen on a Thai menu in Chicago:

                                                                                                                                                                                                        listed under appetizers - "Poo Thong"

                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: caliking
                                                                                                                                                                                                          t
                                                                                                                                                                                                          Ted in Central NJ Jun 9, 2008 09:10 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                          And, of course, there is the old Chinese menu favorite:

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Triple Clown

                                                                                                                                                                                                          I just wonder if they considered the creepiness factor before employing those clowns.

                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: caliking
                                                                                                                                                                                                            grayelf Jun 10, 2008 10:37 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                            "Seen on a Thai menu in Chicago: listed under appetizers - "Poo Thong""

                                                                                                                                                                                                            I think Poo = Crab in Thai... but still pretty funny for English speakers.

                                                                                                                                                                                                            I often wonder what non-Spanish speakers think when a reviewer of a Mexican resto waxes poetic about the lovely dish of mole on the menu :-).

                                                                                                                                                                                                            Our favourite menu gaffe was at a cavernouse Chinese restaurant in Mississauga (west of Toronto) that we frequented for cart-service dimsum. Once we perused the dinner menu for fun and discovered that they had well over a dozen dishes of tenderlion, prepared many different ways. Always thought the king of beasts would be a little tough, but apparently not here :-). We've referred to it as tenderlion ever since.

                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: caliking
                                                                                                                                                                                                              carbocat Jan 15, 2010 12:19 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                              oh my god. I would have died

                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: carbocat
                                                                                                                                                                                                                j
                                                                                                                                                                                                                jumpingmonk Apr 29, 2010 03:26 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                I'd think they migh have gotten one that broke out of the zoo and was lost, but to make these kind of menu mistakes someone in the kitchen probaby had a few to many, and as everyone know if you'd had a few to many its really hard to wok a strayed lion.

                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. q
                                                                                                                                                                                                            QSheba Jun 4, 2008 06:56 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                            "Hacked chicken in assorted flavor" "honey baby ribs"

                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. litchick Jun 2, 2008 02:04 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                              A few Chinese restaurants (mostly Sichuan or northern style) in Boston feature shrimp or pork with "stumble eggs." I love it. MrLit and I now exclusively refer to scrambled eggs this way. (Makes sense, I suppose. You're just walkling along with an armful of eggs, and... oops!)

                                                                                                                                                                                                              2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: litchick
                                                                                                                                                                                                                greygarious Jun 6, 2008 03:28 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                My term for scrambled eggs is "gegs".

                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: greygarious
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  KaimukiMan Nov 20, 2009 01:11 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  conversation at a restaurant for breakfast,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  three of us, one an exchange student:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  me: "Rick, what are you going to order?"
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Rick: "What is scramble mind?"
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  me: "what? where is it on the menu?"
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Rick: "no, jim says i'm scramble mind"
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Jim: "I said you were scatter brained"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  we all had a good laugh

                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. l
                                                                                                                                                                                                                LabRat Jun 2, 2008 10:38 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                I'm not sure if this is a typo or not, but the menu at a restaurant we frequent said "Under sane management since 1984". If it's a typo, then I guess the same management has been in place since 1984. If not, the old management might have finally gotten their meds dialed in correctly back in '84. I pointed it out to a waitress, she just rolled her eyes and said "They're lying".

                                                                                                                                                                                                                1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: LabRat
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Catskillgirl Jun 7, 2008 01:41 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I had to read your post 7 times before finally seeing what you saw! It's funny how your eyes will sometimes make corrections - seeing what "should" be there, not what really is there. I'm sure the waitress was right!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. danhole Jun 2, 2008 08:39 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Last night we ate at a place that had a Chocolate mouse cake. Tail not included.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  5 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: danhole
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Catskillgirl Jun 7, 2008 01:39 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Oh, but the tail is the best part! Good one.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: danhole
                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Emmmily Nov 23, 2009 07:26 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I recently ordered a dish of "noodles with miced pork" at one of my favorite NY Chinatown joints. Always wondered what those mice were doing to my pork to make it taste so good...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Emmmily
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        d
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        dump123456789 Nov 23, 2009 04:09 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I hope it's not what civets do to kopi luwak.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: dump123456789
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          j
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          jumpingmonk Nov 23, 2009 04:26 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Well, I can't help noticing that some pork dishes in Chinatown (like the pork belly at New Yeah! Shanghai Deluxe) come with a sprinkling of "forbidden" (black) rice grains. At least I HOPE they're rice grains.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: jumpingmonk
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Emmmily Nov 23, 2009 07:21 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I'm just picturing them there with little tiny cleavers mincing it themselves...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    2. g
                                                                                                                                                                                                                      GeeBeeEmm May 30, 2008 07:58 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      The cafeteria at work advertised "Leak Soup."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. c
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        cavandre May 28, 2008 07:56 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Not a menu gaffe, but similar incident in Westchester Co., NY.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        A few years ago, a new restaurant openned in the fall of the year. In early Dec., the local paper was featuring ads for New Years' Eve in their Friday entertainment section. This restaurants ad featured their choice of entrees for that night, all in a large, bold type. One of the choices was Breast of Duck. However in the ad, the "u" in duck got changed to an "i".

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        The owners & the newspaper were really embarrased; however the phones won't stop ringing with reservations. The next week, the restaurant had a similar size ad in the same paper. The only copy in the ad was: "It's Breast of Duck".

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. Sam Fujisaka May 26, 2008 08:42 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Long ago in Laos there was a road sign in front of a place that said, "Snake Bar"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          In the scientific literature we refer to cows produced for both meat and milk as, "Dual purpose females".

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Sam Fujisaka
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            l
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Leonardo May 26, 2008 10:13 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Saw a road sign in Turkey that said "Cook Yourself Eat Yourself".
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            It was a do-it-yourself BBQ.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Leonardo
                                                                                                                                                                                                                              e
                                                                                                                                                                                                                              emerilcantcook May 26, 2008 11:12 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Sweet. This reminds me another one:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              There is also Cihichen [sic] Translate, one of the most amazing menu gaffes that was created in Turkinglish language. For those (many) of you who don't speak Turkish, I owe an explanation: the word "cevirme" is a homograph that both means to rotate and to translate. Here is the famous sign...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              http://www.turkishenglish.com/images/...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. carswell May 26, 2008 08:32 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Years ago, a sweet little Japanese restaurant whose dessert menu featured fly ice cream. It was only on our second or third visit that one of us screwed up his courage and ordered it. Turned out to be ice cream balls dipped in tempura batter and deep fried.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. e
                                                                                                                                                                                                                              emerilcantcook May 26, 2008 08:20 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Recently spotted an item that included some Duck Conflict. Not sure it was a real typo, or an intended pun since the cook was the uber hipster chef Nantha Kumar, recently awarded an honorable mention for the "Best Montreal Weirdo" in our city weekly.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              3 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: emerilcantcook
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Catskillgirl Jun 1, 2008 10:17 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                So were the ducks conflicted or fighting? That's a great one.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: Catskillgirl
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  e
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  emerilcantcook Jun 1, 2008 12:26 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I took a better look at the menu yesterday. Actually it writes:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Conflict of Duck Penang

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Even more poetic.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: emerilcantcook
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    s
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    smartie Jun 1, 2008 01:41 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I posted earlier on this thread that I saw a Conflict of Duck on an English hotel menu. I couldn't stop laughing that evening.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. h
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Hue May 26, 2008 01:03 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Not A menu gaffe..but I always find this humorous

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                An Asian Room Service Lesson

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Be Warned , you will find yourself talking "funny" for a while after reading this

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                This is a telephone exchange(actual?) between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Room Service(RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Guest(G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room service"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                RS; "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                G: "Uh..yes …I'd like some bacon and eggs"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                RS: " Ow July Den?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                G: "What?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                RS: "Ow July Den?….pry, boy, pooch?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                G: "Oh..the eggs! How do I like them?"
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                "Sorry..scrambled please"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem….crease?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                G: "Crisp will be fine"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                RS: "Kokay. An San Tos?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                G: "What?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                RS: "San tos. July san Tos?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                G: "I don't think so!"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                RS: "No? Judo one toes?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                G: " I feel real bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                RS: "Toes! Toes!…why djew Don Juan toes?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                "Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                G: English Muffin!!!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast".. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                RS: "We bother?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                G: "No… just put the bother on the side."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                RS: "Wad?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                G: "I mean butter….just put the butter on the side."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                RS: "Copy?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                G: "Sorry"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                RS: "Copy?…Tea?…mill?…"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that’s all."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease bachem Tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy……rye?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                G: "Whatever you say"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                RS: "Tendjewberrymud"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                G: " You're welcome"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: Hue
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  d
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  dump123456789 Nov 22, 2009 08:48 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  This reads more like someone mocking someone else's accent. It would be just as easy for me to mock some of the accents I've heard in New Jersey, Louisiana and Texas.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: dump123456789
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    buttertart Nov 23, 2009 09:24 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I agree, I've been sent this a lot of times as an email and it strikes me as patronizing and unfunny (to be charitable). "Guest" should perhaps try to understand that room service person has at least a grasp of guest's language. Best not to make fun of someone speaking English with an accent, it means they know at least one more language than you do (if you're a unilingual English-speaker of course).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. k
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  KevinB May 26, 2008 10:35 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Not really a menu gaffe, but there's a mostly Asian grocery near me that regularly advertises "Old Chickens" for sale.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. b
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    buspirone May 26, 2008 10:07 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Saint John, New Brunswick, not really renown as a city of adventurous diners recently had a new sushi restaurant open. Of course since raw fish is quite adventurous the owners appeared to decide to ease the public by only using cooked fish in their rolls.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    However the publicity in their window proudly announced "SUSHI ! - ALL COCKED MENU"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. m
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Mothership May 20, 2008 02:26 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      At a seafood restaurant in Portugal - "Fresh Giant Crap". (Referring to a lovely stuffed crab dish...) I really wish I had taken the menu...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Mothership
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        thew May 20, 2008 02:40 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        there was a palce in NYC chinatown that sold various carp dishes, all labled as crap

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. JenBoes May 20, 2008 02:14 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        This isn't about a menu error but a pronunciation error. We were out with a fairly large group for dinner and my friend ordered succotash. She pronounced it sue-kohe-tashie. Everybody got a laugh out of that. Of course, this is the same individual that thought czar was pronounced ceasar.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: JenBoes
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Prav Jun 2, 2008 10:56 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          To be fair, caesar/czar/kaiser are etymologically related words. ;)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. c
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          carolm May 20, 2008 01:20 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          From my Daughter NO jazz fest botter water $1.00, also sweat ham.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. ddonthehill May 19, 2008 07:51 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            This is hilarious! For years my husband and I have laughed about the "Garlkick sauce" on a menu in our once favorite Chinese restaurant. To this day, we say Garlkick sauce. Can't help it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. Caroline1 May 14, 2008 12:15 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I thought this subject was pretty much exhausted. Then I was browsling local online restaurant menus this morning looking for inspiration to either drive or cook. In the "sides" menu of Cafe Istanbul in downtown Dallas, they translate "Siyah Zeytin" (Turkish for black olives) as "Calamity Olives." Gee, and I thought Turkish-Greek relations were improving! No idea whether it's the same on the in-house menu. But that's the way it is here: http://www.cafe-istanbul.net/menu.htm

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              3 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: Caroline1
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                s
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                smartie May 19, 2008 07:21 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                not a restaurant but a local nail bar has a sign on the door which says ' dogs have no permission'. Makes me chuckle.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: Caroline1
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Paulustrious Nov 21, 2009 07:14 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Bit late to post this, but you know what it's like with a resurrected thread.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I think that was the translation of Kalamata, rather than just black

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Paulustrious
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Caroline1 Dec 11, 2009 11:05 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    hmmm... You resurect late, I respond late. A month later, I finally read this. No. Not "Kalamata." The menu is written in Turkish, and it clearly states "black olives" in Turkish (Siyah Zeytin), then seriously mistranslates it. You're right in that they probably intended "Kalamata," but the problem is that Kalamata olives are grown specifically and exclusive in Kalamata, Greece. Grow the same olive somewhere else and it's just a black olive. Or whatever else they want to call it, but Kalamata olives are grown in Kalamata. Similar to the way the French feel about Champagne. '-)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. t
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Ted in Central NJ May 11, 2008 04:01 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  And, who can forget the restaurant menu that listed "Asparagus with Holland Days Sauce"? I was tempted to ask if I could get it with Holland Nights Sauce instead.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. alanbarnes May 7, 2008 01:46 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    You can get similar results when an English-speaking chef serves a dish with a foreign name. A seafood restaurant here in town frequently offers poke (the Hawai'ian marinated fish dish--pronounced POH-keh) as a special. But to distinguish the dish from the weed that southerners make into poke salad, or to make pronunciation clearer, or for whatever reason, the menu always lists it as "poki."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Which wouldn't be funny if poki wasn't another ancient Hawai'ian food. Dog meat, to be specific.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. southernitalian May 7, 2008 01:09 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      My favorite Thai restaurant serves a bean "threat" noodle dish!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. hill food May 2, 2008 12:41 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Once I had "Shredded Prok"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        and I think it indeed was Prok...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. Sarah May 1, 2008 10:28 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          My favorites remain "Foot to Go" and that comforting favorite "Lamp Stew." Yummm.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Sarah
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Cheese Boy May 2, 2008 09:00 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Yep, this reinforces the fact that Chinese translation is all about pronunciation. I was at a Chinese eatery once and I asked the server for pepper and received paper. At first I thought that was odd, but I then realized why. It's amazing and at times unfortunate, how so much can be lost in translation with something as simple as misspellings. (Sadly, we get a laugh at their expense).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. cassis May 1, 2008 08:54 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Many years ago in a London restaurant known for its game dishes, my uncle inquired of the Spanish waiter, "What is in the Gamekeeper's Pie?", and the answer was "Why, gamekeeper, of course."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            We managed not to laugh, and my uncle ordered it anyway.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: cassis
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              l
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              lost squirrel May 1, 2008 10:24 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Oh my, you haven't seen anything yet.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Try living in Tokyo.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              At my local convenience store they sell "Homo Sausages", made of fish mind you.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              My all time favorite is below:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              "burning condition cock skewer" yummy

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: lost squirrel
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                chefschickie May 2, 2008 10:03 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                hahaha, I also like the "two of them" part, very normal maybe put more speaking language.....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. egit Apr 27, 2008 02:02 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I feel terrible for laughing at a lot of these...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              The most puzzling and funny one that I remember was at a Korean restaurant upstate many years ago. They had some sort of beef dish with "steamed bracorie." (it wasn't a very authentic korean place). It took me most of my meal to realize they were serving it with broccoli.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              It's very common in various ethnic restaurants. The ones that I end up remembering are the ones that completely stump me. Bracorie.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. Miss Needle Apr 26, 2008 01:49 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                This was posted recently in another thread. Absolutely hilarious -- I don't think I've seen as many mistakes as in this menu. And it gets kind adult as you approach the bottom.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                http://rahoi.com/2006/03/may-i-take-your-order/

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                And then there is engrish.com that portrays English mistakes in predominantly Japanese ads and products. Here is the menu section:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                http://www.engrish.com/category_index...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. Prav Apr 26, 2008 12:54 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Shrimp Dumpings, at a Chinese place (Gourmet Garden) in Ann Arbor, MI.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. i
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    ImprovGal Apr 26, 2008 08:15 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Dinner menus on Disney Cruise Line get posted in the morning at the Animator's Palate since it doesn't serve breakfast or lunch. On one morning of my Panama Canal cruise in 2005, I took a peek at the menu and saw that one of the soup/salad offerings that evening was "Essence of Leeches, Passion Fruit, Guava".
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Someone caught the typo in time to run off new menus to hand out at dinner. However, there had been a full print run of the error menu and our server was able to smuggle out a "leeches" menu for our group to have as a keepsake.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. k
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      kimmer1850 Apr 26, 2008 05:32 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I used to work in a small cajun restaurant with an amazing chef. Unfortunately he was no typist and always relied too much on spell check. Thus we had "mussels with Boston logger" and "shrimp and grits in a white whine sauce." He was such a nice guy that I couldn't bring myself to tell him that his menu was just chock full of typos. Besides, everyone thought he was trying to be cute.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      4 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: kimmer1850
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        whs May 2, 2008 10:13 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        How about "steamed muscles"?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: whs
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          k
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          kimmer1850 May 3, 2008 07:22 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          He managed not to mangle "mussels." I think that I would have corrected that one just because it is just a gross picture.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: whs
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            h
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Hue May 26, 2008 12:59 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Locally, in Baltimore, steamed blue crabs are a must during the summer
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            and sometime during the summer a sign will go "STEAMED FEMALES
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            $20.00"...never fails to give me a chuckle

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Hue
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              k
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              kimmer1850 May 27, 2008 10:06 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Hey Hue,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I'm from Baltimore, too, Hon. I always get a chuckle out of "steamed females." I grew up crabbing on the Magothy River and was taught to throw the females back.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. t
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          tobycat Apr 26, 2008 02:28 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          At our local Japanese restuarant:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Pork Berry in Sweat Sauce

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          oh yum!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. chefschickie Apr 25, 2008 09:04 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Allright... Not a Typo and actual Product at the Caribbean section in our local Publix : 'Cock Flavored Soup' ....... Guess it might be my mind in the gutter.....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            6 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: chefschickie
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Michelly Dec 10, 2009 11:15 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I bought several of these and are saving them for...I don't know, a bachelorette party?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: Michelly
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                thew Dec 10, 2009 01:45 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                it's the steeping that's so damned painful

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: thew
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Paulustrious Dec 10, 2009 02:35 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  It's the skinning that gets to me. And getting rid of the bone.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Paulustrious
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    thew Dec 10, 2009 03:09 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    once steeped and skinned, i assure you, the bone will be gone

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. re: chefschickie
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                jgg13 Dec 11, 2009 11:24 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I got some once as a joke. Made for a decent enough quick snack.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: chefschickie
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  NellyNel May 13, 2010 10:12 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  AHHH!!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Yes - my mother thought "Cock Soup" was hilarious so she bought me a packet (she's 70)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I keep it dsplayed in my kictchen!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. Veggo Apr 25, 2008 07:15 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  The one that still cracks me up, and I'm not sure why it was on the all-you-can eat menu:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  "Fat people are harder to kidnap"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Veggo
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    goodhealthgourmet Apr 26, 2008 08:31 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    ok, that's hiLArious! veggo, where did you see it?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Veggo
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      BobB Apr 28, 2008 05:18 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      On the other hand, there's the slogan of a chain of fitness centers in Hong Kong: "Because when they come, they'll eat the fat ones first!"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    2. p
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      penguiino101 Apr 25, 2008 03:48 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I got one on a set of chopsticks: "Eat your Nice Chinese Food with chkostiks. How to use: Place first chopstick between middle finger and tnurb." I can't remember the rest, but every one was cracking up!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. r
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        RGC1982 Apr 25, 2008 02:33 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Not a foreign language translation gaffe, but definitely a gaffe:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Kosher Hot Dog with Cheese.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        8 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: RGC1982
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          s
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          soupkitten Apr 25, 2008 02:55 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          along the same lines: vegan honey cake

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: RGC1982
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            l
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Leonardo Apr 25, 2008 06:14 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Not a gaffe at all. The hot dog itself was produced in a manner that rendered it qualified to be certified as kosher. When people see the term "kosher hot dog" it signifies certain things pertaining to its contents, size, shape, flavor, and other standards, things that cannot be changed by what it is served with. Which is why it is a sought-after product.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Then the purveyor chose to serve it with cheese. This act certainly makes the finished dish not kosher, but it doesn't change the fact that the hot dog was produced as a kosher product.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: RGC1982
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              r
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              rubymydear May 1, 2008 01:45 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Along those lines...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              http://nancykayshapiro.livejournal.co...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: rubymydear
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                r
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                RGC1982 May 2, 2008 11:01 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Your link was hilarious! Eating Trafe for Chanukah!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Actually, I did understand, Leonardo, the intent of the menu item description. Of course they were just trying to sell the perceived higher quality of a kosher hot dog because this was not a kosher restaurant. It was just really funny because we chose to eat there with some conservative Jewish friends who keep kosher at home, but are more liberal when eating out. They laughed over the "kosher hot dog with cheese" for a good twenty minutes. It just seemed funny.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. re: RGC1982
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                eclecticsynergy Jul 19, 2011 11:23 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Great for Hanukah?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: eclecticsynergy
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  BobB Jul 19, 2011 11:36 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  That's a classic - it's from Balducci's in NYC, from 2007. Went absolutely viral at the time.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: BobB
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    bushwickgirl Jul 20, 2011 02:06 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Now that's a GAFFE.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. re: eclecticsynergy
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    hill food Sep 23, 2011 10:08 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Balducci's in NYC? is this for real? even I know better.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. r
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  robinsilver Apr 25, 2008 02:18 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  We have a family joke about how we have to find the mistake in every new Chinese menu we see. It is kid of funny, but not surprising. Seeing as I read posts and e-mails from people who should have learned better, but did not, why should I be surprised that someone who is not American born does not pick up on an error.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. c
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    chefmurray57 Apr 25, 2008 01:31 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I live in Costa Rica and nearly every menu I encounter offers Chicken Gordon Blue and one even offered a Hamburger with a slice of Fried Hand on top. I love the comment about the Italian restaurant describing the Risotto served with arborio rice. Here, the Costa Ricans often do serve a side of fries with a side of rice on the same plate...pura vida..

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: chefmurray57
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      m
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Merry113 May 10, 2008 07:10 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Every restaurant in Bali had Chicken Gordon Blue on it as well. My husband and I always giggled when we saw it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    2. s
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      soupkitten Apr 25, 2008 01:04 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      "basket full of whole deep fried orcas"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      6 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: soupkitten
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        thew Apr 25, 2008 01:22 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        waffles manatee

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: soupkitten
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          BobB Apr 25, 2008 01:23 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Wow, that must be some big basket!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: soupkitten
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            StriperGuy Oct 3, 2008 06:42 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I can't for the life of me figure out what the Orcas are actually supposed to be...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: StriperGuy
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              emmaroseeats Oct 3, 2008 09:18 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Ocra!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: emmaroseeats
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                StriperGuy Oct 3, 2008 10:57 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Duh, of course...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: emmaroseeats
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  roxlet Oct 3, 2008 11:41 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  You mean okra? The vegetable?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. a
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Al_Pal Apr 25, 2008 10:26 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              In college, the Chinese restaurant just around the corner from campus had a menu that read "We Delivery!!!!"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I was also at a Chinese restaurant in Rome where they had dishes like "lo mein with meat." Never said what kind of meat, but one of my friends was brave enough to order a dish "with meat," and it certainly didn't look like any meat I had ever eaten...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. s
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Squint Apr 25, 2008 08:18 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                At a small restaurant for lunch last week, there was an item on the menu "Vegetarian Wrap with Chicken"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I thought of that this week when the Top Chef winner was tofu cooked in rendered beef fat.....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: Squint
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  goodhealthgourmet Apr 26, 2008 08:30 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  i've seen a lot of restaurants do that. typically the "chicken" [or pork, or shrimp] they're talking about is a vegetarian substitute or meat analog, but they really should specify.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. s
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  smartie Apr 24, 2008 04:05 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I saw a Conflict of Duck on a hotel menu - had visions of some massive duck fight with feathers flying.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. m
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    miss_bennet Apr 24, 2008 02:33 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    My favourite example is not from a menu. I once saw a poster advertising a charity dinner. At the very bottom of the poster, it said:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    "For rickets, call..."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    No way was I going to call! Although it presents a very sad irony.. Maybe I have a sick sense of humour...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: miss_bennet
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      thew Apr 24, 2008 02:46 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      i saw a hotel/restaurant in varanasi with a sign that read " a fine place to die" I neither ate nor stayed there

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    2. thew Apr 24, 2008 02:29 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      in india on a dessert menu

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      "american ice cream swedishs"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      took me a 1/2 hour to figure they meant sweet dishes.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      not a gaffe, but there used to be a chinese place that offered "hot intestines and things"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      i always wondered what the things could be, if the least nasty one the could mention were the hot intestines.....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: thew
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        StriperGuy Oct 3, 2008 06:40 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Hard enough to get up the courage to order tripe or chitterlings, but when it is called "hot intestines and things" gulp.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. n
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        nc213 Apr 24, 2008 02:14 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        not from a menu, but i've seen lots of creative spellings in the restaurants I've worked in (usually from native english speakers). my favorite thing ever listed on the 86 board:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        cremon glaze

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        took me a minute of staring at it and sounding it out in my head to figure out what the heck they meant.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: nc213
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Caroline1 Apr 24, 2008 02:32 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Now that's funny! Someone was obviously hooked on phonics.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: nc213
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            c
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            caviar_and_chitlins Jun 5, 2008 03:58 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            You can have that for dessert after your:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Flamin' Yon

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. f
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            fussycouple Apr 24, 2008 01:01 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            In the late 70s, a Portuguese bakery in Somerville, MA had a sign one day inside that I will never forget. I felt compelled to ask for the manager and point out that he might want to correct a sign that said,

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            "Fresh jewess rye from our hot ovens"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            with an "ish".

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: fussycouple
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              h
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              howchound Apr 24, 2008 01:22 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Tigers Deli take out menu in NJ menu used to offer Corned "Beak" sandwiches - think they mustve gotten spell checked into that. Id peruse the menu trying to decide what to order and somehow that always put me off ever ordering the corned beef....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. l
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              LTL Apr 24, 2008 08:48 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Lots of typos found on Chinatown menus including pork dumpings and boiled bumplings. The latter always makes me think of warts or something, perhaps due to the "bump".

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. BobB Apr 24, 2008 08:26 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                The one that sticks in my mind was probably not actually a gaffe, but nonetheless...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                It was at the long-defunct Peasant Stock in Cambridge, MA, the menu one night offered "Roast Puerto Rican Kid."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: BobB
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  yakitat jack Dec 11, 2009 11:53 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Roast Puerto Rican young goat. A young goat is known as a kid.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: yakitat jack
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    BobB Dec 12, 2009 08:21 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Uhhh...yes. I know that. It's just the way it was phrased struck me as funny. You may disagree if you like.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. l
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  lizzy Apr 24, 2008 07:33 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  We regularly receive a Chinese take-out menu where all the vegetarian dishes have either chicken or shrimp an an ingredient.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. Azizeh Barjesteh Apr 24, 2008 02:29 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    At Bond 45 in NYC during Valentines Day week, the boyfriend and I laughed over the "Broccoli Rape" being served alongside the chicken.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Azizeh Barjesteh
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      r
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      rockycat Apr 24, 2008 07:15 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      That, actually, is not a typo. But it would explain why that vegetable is usually referred to as broccoli rabe. Same thing for canola oil. It's made out of rapeseed but most marketers wouldn't be putting that in big letters on their packages.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    2. j
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Just One Bite Apr 24, 2008 02:09 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      There's a Mediterranean restaurant in Burbank which has Homos on the menu. You can get anything delivered in Los Angeles!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. babybat Apr 24, 2008 01:58 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        There's an Iranian takeaway place near me that's very good, but their menu is packed full of amusing typos. Would you prefer the "Baby Aborigine" (I'm guessing aubergine?) or the "Whore Okra" (whole, I hope!) Thankfully the food justifies the comedy value!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. Cheese Boy Apr 23, 2008 09:03 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          The Brighton Beach neighborhood of Brooklyn is heavily populated with Russian immigrants and most of the residents there speak in their native tongue. In addition to that, most of the store signage there is foreign to me, because it is all in Russian. On one particular day I happened to stop in to a store and decided to browse their selection of packaged fish fillets. I was thrilled to see that the labels were in English. Hooray!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Upon closer inspection, I noticed the label read 'God Fish' all in caps. 'Oh, they must mean Cod fish', I said to myself. But as I sifted through the other packages, I noticed they all said that. Tilapia, flounder, tilefish -- ALL God fish. No cod anywhere. I walked out of there and said to myself, 'I'm not ready for this yet'.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Cheese Boy
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            vorpal Jan 3, 2010 12:18 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Hahaha! Reminds me of some of the stores in Toronto Chinatown. One day I was walking through, and everything wrapped in plastic with a printed label was idenified as "Vietnamese Herbs". I bought some nice ground Vietnamese herbs from the meat counter to go with my Vietnamese herbs from the produce section to make some delicious dumplings :-).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. Caroline1 Apr 23, 2008 07:24 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I have a treasured menu I stole from a restaurant in Turkey decades ago. A featured entree: "Beef things." I have no idea. Didn't have the nerve to order it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            3 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Caroline1
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              p
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              pellegrino31 May 1, 2008 01:11 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Reminds me of an entree at a resort in the Dominican Republic. The menu says "beef plate". I took a chance my first night and it turned out to be skirt steak and it was perfect! I noticed no one ever ordered it except me and my SO.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: pellegrino31
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Das Ubergeek May 12, 2008 07:08 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Beef plate is actually the technical term for the larger cut of meat that skirt steak comes from... but your average diner wouldn't know that!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Thai Beer in Los Angeles used to advertise deep-fried vegetarians... and the sign at Cocary Hot Pot said "Picture may vary from the real".

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: pellegrino31
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  BobB May 13, 2008 07:46 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Skirt steak is very popular in the Caribbean. We had some fantastic ones in Vieques recently.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. Jasz Apr 23, 2008 06:48 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Not on a menu but on a box of imported pudding mix: the translation instructed to "...boil the mass until it congeals…" Doesn't that sound just delish?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. s
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  small h Apr 23, 2008 05:47 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  My two Chinese menu favorites (and I've seen them multiple times because I'm sure one company prints menus for many different restaurants): Beef cubs over white rice, and sauteed crap with ginger and scallion. Cubes, for sure, but crab? carp? Could go either way, I guess.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: small h
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    r
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    rockycat Apr 24, 2008 07:13 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    A very famous Shanghai-style restaurant in NY offers an extensive variety of fish dishes. For many years their menu had a full page of Buffalo Carp dishes. Problem is, "carp" was misspelled every last time. The problem has since been corrected but every time I'm in there I think back to the many ways one can prepare buffalo crap.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Btw, their carp dishes all taste great.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. ms. clicquot Apr 23, 2008 05:27 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    An Indian place opened in my neighbourhood a while back and while their delivery menu was riddled with errors, my favourite was the 'Green Peepers' that were in one of the dishes. Keep your curtains closed when you order that one...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. linguafood Apr 23, 2008 05:22 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      "Steaming dough pockets with vegetables and fungus" which I am guessing was supposed to say "Steamed dumplings with vegetables and mushrooms." I think I owe my business to that one.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Another cute one on Crete at a small souvlaki stand, which had a menu with Greek, English, and German:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      patates / fried potatoes / Kartoffeln. Frieden (=potatoes. peace.).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Cute!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      5 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: linguafood
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        a
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        akq May 19, 2008 05:54 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        FYI - in Chinese cooking, fungus isn't the same as mushrooms - we actually use fungus and call it such (e.g. black fungus or wood ear fungus).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: akq
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          linguafood May 20, 2008 01:32 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Ok, but I am more than doubtful that the German cook of this hotel was *really* using fungus, and not mushrooms. Thanks for the input, tho.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: linguafood
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            a
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            akq May 20, 2008 01:57 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Hmm. Sorry - I assumed it was a Chinese place. No idea whether Germans use fungus, but you're probably right!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: linguafood
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              StriperGuy Oct 3, 2008 06:37 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Do keep in mind that in Italian you say fungi for mushrooms...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: StriperGuy
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                linguafood Nov 20, 2009 11:35 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Yes, in Italian you say funghi. In English, however, you say mushrooms.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. z
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Zatan Apr 23, 2008 03:37 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Once at Chef Chang's in Brookline having Peking Duck (just having returned from Beijing and remembering the multi-course meal I'd had of the duck there) I asked the waiter if they had the liver. The reply was "No! Takeout only!". I tried repeatedly, pointing at my side, the duck, etc. to no avail, just "takeout only!" haha.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Just in case... "the liver"....de liver.....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Zatan
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            s
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Stride Apr 23, 2008 04:54 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            My favorite was in Edinburgh. We saw a restaurant boasting American cuisine, and when we checked the menu in the window we were delighted to see "Whack of Ribs".

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Ouch.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. c
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            csammy Apr 23, 2008 03:13 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I was at a restaurant in California that was serving " Suckling Chicken".

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: csammy
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              greygarious Apr 23, 2008 03:18 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Stop genetically-modified food now! ;)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. ChickenBrocandZiti Apr 23, 2008 02:50 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Two of my favorites. There is a liquor store in Chinatown that had a note on their emergency exit that read" Door unrock when building occupan"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Another place downtown had a sign in the window reading "lunch special free for small coke" I always wanted to walk in with a small Coke and ask to exchange my Coke for a lunch special.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. f
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                fieryredhead Apr 23, 2008 02:20 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I went to a retirement party once where the caterer's menu proudly announced its use of "mescaline greens." And this was in a law enforcement field, no less!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                And our nearest steak place has an item, intended to make you feel nostalgic ... "Yesterday's Meatloaf." It always leaves me wondering whether they make it from uneaten steak bits off people's plates? Enough to make me want to stay away altogether.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: fieryredhead
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  shaogo Nov 20, 2009 12:23 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Chefs and restaurant employees who spell "mescaline" for mesclun on promotional materials are indicating to the rest of the world exactly where their heads are at...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: fieryredhead
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    thew Nov 22, 2009 04:14 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    i keep trying the mescaline salad, but my tolerance must be way up. no kick at all

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. jgg13 Apr 23, 2008 02:00 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    "Free Delivery: $1" or something along those lines - used to be on the menu for Pu Pu Hot Pot.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    7 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: jgg13
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      k
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      KevinB May 5, 2008 05:28 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I went to a Chinese spot in Toronto years ago that offered a "Poo-Poo" platter. My friends and I thought that was hilarious.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: KevinB
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        vorpal Jan 3, 2010 12:11 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Correct me if I'm wrong, but a pu-pu platter is the actual name for a type of mixed appetizer plate :-). I laughed the first time I saw it in DC, too.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: vorpal
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          alanbarnes Jan 3, 2010 09:11 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Pūpū is a Hawai'ian word. Loosely, it just means "finger food." The pupu platter has become a fairly standardized Americanized Chinese dish (egg roll, chicken wing, crab rangoon, fried shrimp, etc.), but pupus in Hawai'i are much more diverse. And they're delicious!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: alanbarnes
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            KaimukiMan Feb 19, 2010 07:21 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            and the Hawaiians adopted it from the "Paniolos" or Hawaiian Cowboys who were originally mostly Spaniards (espanols). I was really shocked one day when driving thru a heavily latino part of LA to see a "Pupuceria", sort of a tapas bar.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: KaimukiMan
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              alanbarnes Feb 19, 2010 07:53 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              So pupus come from pupusas? That's a very cool theory.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              But some sources claim that it was originally used to refer to relishes served with kava kava. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pu_pu_pl...) That doesn't sound very paniolo. Pipikaula, sure. But banana relish? Not so much.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Another theory is that it's a loan word from Cantonese, although that seems less plausible.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              We need an etymologist here!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: alanbarnes
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                KaimukiMan Feb 23, 2010 01:48 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                converging cultures... always interesting. Perhaps the spanish picked it up during half a millennium of exploring the pacific.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: KaimukiMan
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  hill food Feb 24, 2010 10:41 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  good point, and the Portugese and Dutch.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  it is fascinating when cultures mesh and what they take away.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    2. StriperGuy Apr 23, 2008 01:58 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Oh dear, my all time favorite at a restaurant in Mallorca Spain many years ago:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      The menu was in Spanish and English. They had really intended to say "BBQ Rabbit", or "Rabbit Grilled over a Wood Fire."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Instead, the English language menu said: "Rabbi on hot wood." Shades of the Spanish inquisition, shiver...

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: StriperGuy
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        greygarious Apr 23, 2008 02:13 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        That's priceless! Oh, and that reminds me - the section of The Pongal menu which describes the tandoori breads is entitled "Bread from Clay" , calling to mind the biblical loaves and fishes miracle!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. almansa Apr 23, 2008 01:50 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        At a Mothers Day lunch I saw "Mother's Milk and Cookies." I can only assume...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        10 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: almansa
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          carbocat Jan 14, 2010 12:55 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          lmao

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: almansa
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            goodhealthgourmet Mar 14, 2010 09:00 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            ok but the disturbing thing is that there's a chef in NYC who has been serving cheese made from his wife's breast milk...
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/ma...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: goodhealthgourmet
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              alkapal Mar 15, 2010 05:46 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              very disturbing. what some won't do for shock value. but of course all "outré" and pushing-the-envelope self-described extreme foodies will laud it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: goodhealthgourmet
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                thew Mar 15, 2010 05:47 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                why is that disturbing? if you think about it, having the milk from some other animal ought to be weirder than having human milk.....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: thew
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  alkapal Mar 15, 2010 06:27 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  ha ha, thew. somehow i knew who might defend this.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: alkapal
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    j
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    jumpingmonk Mar 15, 2010 05:43 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Actually I seem to recall a short story (forgot the title, but I remeber it was one of the ones in "Dangerous Visions" (or maybe "Again Dangerous Visions") about an earth where this was the norm.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: alkapal
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      KaimukiMan May 20, 2010 01:05 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      visions of big warehouse like structures full of buxom women chewing high calcium foods and taking drugs to optimize output..... now thats disturbing.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: KaimukiMan
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        thew May 20, 2010 03:16 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        i prefer my buxom women free-range

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: thew
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Parigi Jul 7, 2010 03:53 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          all this reminds me of the specialty Aux Mandarins at 1, rue de Berri in Paris: "chef's kidney - les rognons du chef".

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Parigi
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            hill food Jul 7, 2011 10:29 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Parigi: was he a heavy drinker? that might be intriguing...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. d
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                deshuitres Apr 23, 2008 01:38 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                The "goes down your gullet effortlessly" reminds me of one of my favourite English expressions- "slips down a treat" to describe fabulous food or drink. I was in a Chinese restaurant in Paris where they had attempted to translate the menu badly into English and they offered " Chinese stir fried with vegetable". I always wondered who the unlucky person would be.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: deshuitres
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  KaimukiMan Apr 26, 2008 03:56 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  a place here had a sign... "stir fried vegetarian with tofu" sadly someone told them what it meant and they fixed the sign. such a shame, always made me smile.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. g
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  girlygirl Apr 23, 2008 01:28 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  You can find a ton of gaffes in any of the menus in chinese restaurants. My favorite was the 'chicken paws' I saw on the dim sum menu/flyer I found on my car from the New Shanghai restaurant. I'm Chinese so I can laugh, right?

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