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My Confessions

Here they are; please feel free to revoke my 'Hound status.

1 - I tip on take-out food, at least 10%
2 - I also tip when served by the owner of a restaurant, and tip the same amount I would a regular server / employee
3 - I like my steaks medium rare; I like my burgers burnt
4 - I do not like cooked orange things (carrots and sweet potatoes) and never have
5 - I really like those fusion "sushi" rolls that cause others to sneer; yes, they're not "traditional" but they're messy and goulashy and great
6 - I eat at chains, not often, but often enough
7 - I actually like a couple of the mixed drinks at $tarbuck$
8 - I like turkey sandwiches with turkey, leftover stuffing, mayo, and ketchup
9 - I also like the mayo and ketchup combo on hot dogs and burgers (preferably accompanied by grilled onions) and as a dip for fresh steamed crab
10 - I've never met a mustard or olive that I liked (keep trying 'em, though), but I enjoy olive oil and tapenade
11 - I like most pizza and could care less if it's A) authentic or B) traditional or C) in the style of <insert town / region name here> - and that includes some chain pizzas and some frozen ones, too
12 - I'll happily polish off all of the bread (if it's good) that's served before a meal
13 - Most of the time I eat granola, but sometimes I like Kix - and, even worse, Trix
14 - I'm not very interested in trying to develop a taste in "innards," but respect those who like them
15 - Despite having grown-up in wine country, I don't like the stuff - it makes my tongue itch, my throat burn, and I don't see the point
16 - On the other hand, I do like beer
17 - I grew-up detesting mushrooms and one day tried some sautee'd - now I eat them several times a week, in all sorts of concoctions and on their own
18 - I can't cook meat to save my life, but make mean roasted vegetables
19 - I also cannot make an edible pie crust, but am good with breads and cakes
20 - I love to spend the day cooking but at the end of the day I'm so tired that I don't want to eat the fruit of my labor
21 - I keep Cream of Mushroom soup at hand in my cupboard at all times
22 - Ditto for canned tuna
23 - I make and eat some of those infamous "hot dishes"
24 - Cool Whip also makes an appearance in some of my food
25 - I once lived with a man who taught me to make "California burritos": brown ground meat, add about 2-cups cooked rice and one packet of taco seasoning - serve in warmed flour tortillas with diced onions, American cheese, and ketchup - they were good
26 - I know how to catch fish, clean them, and cook them, but I don't like the taste or texture of most fish
27 - I've also hunted and shot a buck and know how to clean a carcass, though now I don't eat meat very often and am not sure that I could shoot another animal
28 - I am addicted to certain commercially-made "season treats," including: Peppermint Joe-Joe's, easter corn, dark-chocolate peppermint frappacinos, candy cane ice cream, jelly beans, conversation hearts, etc.
29 - My family was rather poor and we lived in a rural area where I grew-up; somehow that has convinced me that I need to purchase and stock-pile food (there are currently four jars of Best Foods in the pantry)
30 - I like to eat Cheetos with chopsticks
31 - One of my most cherished childhood memories was our once-every-other-week trip to the grocery store, where my mother would splurge and purchase a loaf of fresh, warm French bread - once we were back in the car, she'd rip off the heel (and keep that for herself) and then tear of chunks for my sister and me to gnaw on - the smell of fresh bread makes me salivate and feel nostalgic
32 - With a "hippie" for a mother, one who believe in all-natural foods, I didn't know that cheddar cheese was supposed to be orange until I started grade school - I'd also never heard of bologna or "white bread"
33 - I think I know why I don't like wine: when I was little, a group of us kids got together and decided to make wine (since we saw our parents doing it) - this involved picking some wild grapes, putting them into an empty Coca-Cola bottle, adding water, and "smashing" the grapes with a branch - we then placed the bottle to "make wine" in a tree fort and forgot about it for some time - upon rediscovery, we promptly passed around the bottle, each taking a swig - not surprisingly, we were all quite ill that evening
34 - You know those cakes with the sickly sweet and almost gacky tasting frosting from a grocery store bakery? I actually like the frosting
35 - I can't tell the difference between a "natural casing" and a "whatever casing" on a hot dog, so far as I know
36 - I've never tasted a truffle
37 - Sometimes I have a spoonful of peanut butter, a glass of milk, and a couple pieces of chocolate for dinner
38 - If I'm going out for dinner, I really want an appetizer, an entree, and a dessert
39 - Some of my favorite recipes involve canned and / or frozen ingredients
40 - I don't own nice dishes, cutlery, silverware, or wine glasses - but I can throw a damn fun party anyway
41 - I like it when someone brings me a hostess gift, whether it's flowers or wine or whatever - it's the thought that counts
42 - The best meal I ever had was with a family outside of Barcelona - they made paella in a large pan over an outside fire - at that time I also fell in love with pan con tomate and prosciutto
43 - I have a recipe for my grandmother's lemon bars - they were her trademark dish and she REFUSED to share the recipe with anyone; one night, in my mid-teens, I crept into her kitchen, scrabbled through her recipe boxes and then ran and hid in the bathroom while copying down the recipe - I've never made them, though, out of guilt
44 - I really like to eat raw chocolate chip cookie dough, much more than the cookies
45 - When I'm on the road I tend to eat a chains, 'cause I have a grumpy stomach and I have a feeling that somehow I'm less likely to get sick eating at a chain (I'm guessing that this is not at all valid, but it's how I feel)
46 - I love the hashbrown casserole at Cracker Barrel and have absolutely no desire to know the ingredients or the calorie count
47 - I prefer to drink water with most meals and don't apologize for it, but get annoyed when people keep offering me other things (I know that they're just being hospitable, but, really, I like water!)
48 - I have no real understanding about the different types of bar-b-que and am okay with that - it seems as though they're all tasty
49 - Many times, while making dinner, or eating a meal, I'm already thinking about the next
50 - I cannot recall the last time I watched a "cooking show" on television, but I love reading cookbooks

Phew. Glad to get that all off my chest.

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  1. the only valid question is: are you happy? if yes, no need for qualification.

    "30 - I like to eat Cheetos with chopsticks"

    how else would one keep the orange off one's fingers?

    1 Reply
    1. re: hill food

      Exactly! hen I read #30 I said, wow, a smart person.

      I agree with so many of the things you said, even though I may not do all of those things. I may even do "worse" Ha!

      I hazard to guess that a lot of folks on this board, be they amazing cooks, or fine cuisine seekers, or hole in the wall obsessors feel kindred to a number of your "confessions". Chowhounds or not, we are all human,eh?

      Your post was refreshing and fun. THANKS!

    2. I've never hunted nor do I know how to clean an animal. I also love mustard and olives

      Other than, I think we'd get a long just fine. How could I not like someone who shares my love of bread??

      DT

      1. Are you my long-lost twin that I'm always dreaming about?! I would have written a nearly identical list!

        1. Woo Hoo!!

          A kindred spirit! ;-)

          1. Very honest and good. Get 45 more and we'll call you the Martin Luther of Houndom.
            As Benny Goodman said, "If it tastes good, it is good.", or Will Rogers, "I never met a beer I didn't like".