Ok, We're celebrating our wedding just south of Hartford, CT in October 2008. Very simply, we're looking for the best damn BBQ around! It's a casual wedding in an old barn, and we want some hot BBQ to chow down on. Any suggestions?
Have to second Beckys BBQ in Middletown RI. We have a family member in North Carolina (BBQ ground zero), this is better! They have both vinegar and tomato based sauces and the pulled pork, beans (i think 3 different kinds) and stew are just amazing.
and if you can track him down, Joe Grates is the best BBQ Man north of the Mason Dixon. He doesn't have a restaurant anymore, but he caters, he had a stand going at the New Haven Cutter's games last summer.
I second the Holy Smokes rec. Fantastic BBQ. I, (and many others) grieved hard when their building burned down. Quite frankly, I'd want to attend your wedding just for the opportunity to taste their ribs again.