other uses for Zagat guide?

I'm using mine to shore up a short leg on my coffee table.

The pages are the perfect size for lighting a chimney of charcoal; you don't even have to crumple them up - just take 4, arrange them in a circle (tops of pages circled around to meet the bottoms), place in the bottom of the chimney and light! The food seems to taste better when you use pages with highly rated places.

Aw c'mon! There are "uses" for the "Zagat Guide," despite the fact that after "reading it a while" you find yourself developing this ludicrous "habit" of putting "ordinary" words in "quotations."