439608 Sun Sep 09 13:38:40 -0700 2007 7 29 Not About Food 0 2924740 I have a group of friends that I socialize with on a regular basis. They have graciously had DH and I in their homes; however, due to an extended/extensive bathroom renovation we could not reciprocate. The bathroom project is now complete and we are ready to entertain. I sent an e-mail about two weeks ago to the core group asking which dates are good for them (as I know a few of them are traveling between now and November) in order to get a consensus of availability. I've heard back from all but one couple and have two dates where everyone is available. I spoke with the couple that has not responded as they are not quick to respond to e-mails. They said they'd love to come but need to check their calendas (one of them is having surgery next month) The problem is that the first date everyone is available is almost two weeks away. Do I set a deadline for myself and if I don't hear back just set a date? Do I send a follow up e-mail telling everyone it looks like the party will be one of two dates based on availability and that I am waiting to hear back from a few people? Do I make another call to my friends to see if they have consulted their calendars? FWIW, I have missed two parties hosted by the non-responding couple one was due to illness and the other due to a last minute issue involving the bathroom renov. Sun Sep 09 13:38:40 -0700 2007 13030 free sample addict aka Tracy L 1 2924790 Go ahead and set the date. The way people's lives are these days, trying to find a free date for more that three couples is like planning the invasion of Normandy. If the remaining couple can't come, you can make time for them later, perhaps after the surgery. Sun Sep 09 14:04:45 -0700 2007 2924740 12213 jillp 1 2924798 JillP and I are in the same dining group and she is right. We all work very hard to come up with a suitable date for a meal and sometimes you just have to say the consensus is that date X is the most workable so that is what it will be. We also are lucky to have some alternate members, folks who don't feel ready to host yet but serve as fill ins for those who cannot make it. Sun Sep 09 14:11:21 -0700 2007 2924740 10285 Candy 1 2924865 You don't give time frames as to when you last spoke to the remaining couple who hasn't responded, but if it was several days ago, I'd say go ahead and set the date and send another EMail out saying that that date was the best for *most* people. It's unfair to leave the larger part of the group who *have* responded hanging for this one couple to slowly check to see if they're busy or not. Sun Sep 09 14:46:04 -0700 2007 2924740 10532 LindaWhit 1 2925281 You may want to leave a message (since they don't respond quickly to email) and say, "I know you have to check w/your calendar, but I do need to finalize the date very soon. Let's do this. If I don't hear from you by Wednesday, September 12th, I will have the party on October 2nd since everyone else is able to make it." It takes 1 minute to check a calendar. It really would help if people gave a more detailed explanation like "I can make it on October 2nd if my SIL can decide on when she wants to celebrate her birthday. I should know by 9/10." Argh. Sun Sep 09 18:04:21 -0700 2007 2924740 93291 boltnut55 1 2927021 You've got a date that's good for most people so go with it... if it doesn't work for the last couple you can always find a date that works for them a bit later and have a second party - there's no law that says you have to entertain all your friends at the same event. Mon Sep 10 10:40:02 -0700 2007 2924740 67657 Kajikit 1 2927976 I would make the date known as soon as possible so that the people who did have the early day open don't unknowingly schedule something else that day if it's only 2 weeks away. Mon Sep 10 14:25:52 -0700 2007 2924740 83462 Lixer 1 2929182 Thanks for your responses. I know it seems like a no brainer but I felt I needed to check just in case in that I might do something dumb. I am going to let everyone know when the date is so they can keep that day open and then send a more formal invite with the specifics. Mon Sep 10 20:35:16 -0700 2007 2924740 13030 free sample addict aka Tracy L