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Caveman food? [Moved from Los Angeles Area board]

What takeout foods would be appropriate for a Caveman theme gathering for the first showing of the pilot for the new Caveman TV series? To keep the theme food proper it may be noteworthy that the show is not about prehistoric Cavemen but rather it is about modern Cavemen – the Geico guys. I read that the pilot to be shown Tuesday October 2 , is centered around the Cavemen being invited to a private BBQ. Maybe BBQ for my party? If so which meats and sides are most Caveman like? Which LA BBQ joint is most proper for Caveman Q? What is a good caveman dessert and who sells it? What do modern Cavemen drink? Piña Colada?

I think answering these questions should be easy. In fact, So easy, a Caveman can do it.

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  1. My recollection is a bit foggy, but I am picturing a cartoon caveman who wears a cape and can fly. For some reason I think he drank cactus juice. Not that any of that info is useful. Turkey legs say "cave man" to me. BBQ turkey legs sound pretty good, dontcha think?
    edit: Aha! He did exhist. It was Captain Caveman, a Mel Blanc cartoon. Let's see if I can find any food references.

    4 Replies
    1. re: kiwi

      Turkey legs sound perfect. I like the cartoon recall. That makes me think of Fred Flintstone and the carhop with those giant Bronto Ribs. I recall Fred always talking about Bronto Burgers also. Maybe one of those crazy Hawkins burgers to be attacked by us all? Who makes the turkey legs to go? Yabba-Dabba-Doo.

      edit, What do the B.C. comic strip characters eat?

      More thoughts on the comics and that old song. What can be a "bear cat stew"? Maybe some takeout thng that is close to bear cat stew?

      There's a man in the funny papers we all know
      (Alley Oop, oop, oop, oop-oop)
      He lives 'way back a long time ago
      (Alley Oop, oop, oop, oop-oop)
      He don't eat nothin' but a bear cat stew
      (Alley Oop, oop, oop, oop-oop)
      Well, this cat's name is-a Alley Oop
      (Alley Oop, oop, oop, oop-oop)

      1. re: JeetJet

        Maybe you could get an elote vendor to come and make some corn for your guests. When I think caveman, I think mucky hands, mucky faces, and a desperate need for dental floss.

        1. re: kiwi

          Viva elote! I see those eloteros all the time pushing those shopping carts. Now see, you understand the Caveman -- a multi sensory mucky being. A BBQ turkey leg in one hand, and a corn cob in the other, is very Caveman. Who sells Caveman Q, Turkey legs?

      2. re: kiwi


        thanks so much for a great trip down memory lane...i used to LOVE captain caveman when i was a kid! remember the long, drawn out way he used to yell his name?

        re: what cavemen use to eat, it's actually pretty simple & logical. meat, fruits & veggies. they were hunter-gatherers, so whatever they could hunt & gather...

      3. I was driving down third street today toward the Grove and 3 Geico cavemen in a blue Mustang Convertible pulled up next to me and asked me if I knew how to put the top up on their car (kinda freaked me out). Anyhow, I could not get rid of them for about a mile until they pulled into the Baskin Robbins on the corner so I think cavemen like ice cream. It was a totally bizarre experience. If you see 3 creepy cavemen cruising around town, ask them what they like.

        1 Reply
        1. re: roxhills

          Good answer. I bet they like Rocky Road.

        2. Y'know, the more I think about it, the more I think that you should make everything as elegant as possible; cloth napkins, too many forks, etc. That Geico caveman is rather elegant.

          1 Reply
          1. re: kiwi

            But the “Cavemen” TV series is about how these Cavemen battle prejudice and stereotyping from society (us) as they attempt to live as normal thirtysomethings in modern Atlanta. So maybe stereotyping is proper for my party. You know, prehistoric tendencies with food. However, Getting elegant as possible would be fun if we all went to a hair salon to have our hair done-up in cavemen style and then dressed in suits. Something like that Caveman Lawyer on Saturday Night Live and the Geico Cavemen.

            That Caveman Lawyer. He always held a drink. What was it?

          2. The ones on the ins. commercial seem very determined to fit in & not seem different. I could see them "educating" themselves with lots of old reruns to learn what was appropriate. How about a retro food theme? What would dick Van Dyke & Mary Tyler Moore serve at a get together?

            1 Reply
            1. re: meatn3

              Somehow I recall Mary Tyler Moore with a Fondue pot. That would be a fun dessert. Maybe even get out the Chocolate fountain. What dessert items would Cavemen use to dip in a Chocolate fountain and who has the most freshest of those items?

            2. When I think of caveman, I think of meat over a flame.

              Soot Bull Jeep.

              For take out, that means hitting up various Korean markets for some marinated meats that are ready to hit the hot iron.

              Soot Bull Jeep
              3136 W 8th St, Los Angeles, CA 90005

              1. In one of the Geico commercials, didnt one of the cavemen order duck with mango salsa?

                1 Reply
                1. re: Fydeaux

                  Yeah, and it seems like in the one where they're all at a party, they're drinking froufrou drinks with little umbrellas in them.

                2. I'd serve Quiche...you know, for Real Men.

                  1 Reply
                  1. re: cookingschool

                    I read that book "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche," by Bruce Feirstein. It is still on my book shelf. I loved the ending. Spoiler -- Real men do eat Quiche because real men eat what ever the hell they want to! Good rec.

                  2. Do something in the vein of Fogo de Chao.

                    Caveman = lots and lots of meat.


                    1. It seems to me that a "modern" cave man would drink a dirty martini and eat cocktail weenies on toothpicks. BBQ'd rack of lamb would be good too. Doesn't one of the Geico cavemen play tennis? Perhaps ice tea with lemon would be in order?

                      1. “Moved from Los Angeles Area board”

                        NOT COOL! I am frightened, confused and do NOT understand why my post was moved from the LA Area board to “General Chowhounding Topics.” I don't know, but hey, I'm just a caveman lawyer.

                        There is one thing I DO know. I know that there is NO substantial difference between my query for quality takeout Caveman cuisine for my home gathering of Cavemen and Female Homo sapiens and most other Los Angeles Area threads including one requesting suggestions for unique local desserts for a home tour. Moreover, “Moved from Los Angeles Area board” has a condescending tone to it!

                        It's because I'm Neanderthal isn't it? (Long Stare).


                        Deserts for Home tour

                        4 Replies
                        1. re: JeetJet

                          My guess is that you're being punished for the nature of the replies you received. Your original quandary definitely belongs on the L A board. I'm sorry we haven't been better about giving you L A TAKE OUT and L A specific answers.

                          So maybe this will help:
                          I suggest that you go to the Mother's Market in El Monte and buy some agave nectar. Then go to the Bottle and Cork on Valley Blvd for Cactus Coolers. Whilest you are there, perhaps you can by some Pimm's No.1 and make some Cactus Cooler Pimm's Cups. I hear that that is thee preferred drink of any discerning homo sapien neandertalensis.

                          Mother's Market
                          10928 Valley Mall, El Monte, CA 91731

                          Bottle 'N Cork Liquor Store
                          12086 Valley Blvd, El Monte, CA 91732

                          1. re: kiwi

                            Thanks for the thoughts and kind words but no need to be sorry. Every post so far inspires thought for foods for the party --thesis to anthesis to synthesis, to thesis to .....

                            First GEICO and now this. It's because I'm Neanderthal.

                            I like the Cactus Cooler idea and will go check out the Pimm's No.1 and Pimm's Cups idea. Never had any of this but will do so. The idea of Cactus bruoght to mind roots = root beer. Thats how Chowhound works.

                            Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels

                            1. re: JeetJet

                              Pimm's Cup is usually Pimm's No.1+Squirt soda (I think) + a stick of cucumber over lotsa ice...ICE!! ICE AGE! Shakas!!!! Captain CAAAAAAvemaaaan!

                              1. re: kiwi

                                OK. You got me looking more and I found several ways to skin the bearcat for a Pimm's Cup.
                                1 part Pimm's No.1
                                2 to 3 parts Lemonade.
                                Infuse with Borage leaves Mint leaves, and slices of lemon, orange, strawberry, and apple.

                                The Captain and other Cavemen celebrities will become wall posters for the party.

                                Pimm’s cup

                        2. If you want cuisine that cavemen really would have eaten... I'd go w/ bison or buffalo steaks for the main.

                          They also ate tubers, so you could do grilled tubers like a mix of turnips, carrots, parsnips, rutabagas.

                          A lot of their calories came from honey, so for dessert, you could do some sort of grilled fruit topped with honey and coated w/ unsweetened dry coconut.

                          They also ate a lot of nuts, esp pecans, so for an appetizer, you could do honey coated nuts, but no peanuts or cashews.

                          Since they didn't really cook any of their foods, I would do an homage in an appetizer with a beef carpaccio. Perhaps, alongside serve a basic salad with a lemon juice dressing, or broccoli al limone.

                          Also, they ate a lot of organ meats, such as liver or kidney.

                          4 Replies
                          1. re: Emme

                            Thanks Emme. I think moving toward fresh uncooked foods and not takeout food is the way to go. However, uncooked Buffalo liver and kidney? I think I am going to have to invent fire for all Cavemankind. How about grilled Buffalo burgers with grilled tubers? Maybe add some turkey legs and corn to the fire like Kiwi mentioned. Would Baklava work for the dessert course (nuts and honey)? Also Cavemen must have known about milk & cream = Baskin Robbins Rocky Road?

                            With that kind of food, Lots of fire (open flame grill & fire pit) and smoke the ambiance should be just right. I developed that idea for fire and smoke from SauceSupreme and ipsedixit’s post.

                            Party games – Ughlympics
                            Matetoss, similar to the discus, where the player has to spin their wife and try and throw her as far as they can.

                            1. re: JeetJet

                              Cavemen definitely didn't do dairy.

                              Sure grab buffalo steaks from WF and toss em on the grill... You can do the whole meal on the grill... wrap tubers in foil (un cavey i know) w/ some fresh herbs and lime juice. Skewer some fruit and grill then drizzle with honey and chopped nuts?

                              As for baklava, there was no phyllo dough or refined carbs...

                              But hey, you're doing an homage, not a recreation, so have fun and don't stress over it. Whomever you're cooking for will no doubt be impressed that you went to so much trouble.

                              As a kitchy idea, "rock candy." This could be served alongside brontosaurus burgers, sabor tooth salad, dinosaur dip and fossil fudge.

                              1. re: Emme

                                I like the theme names and rock candy is a great theme idea.

                                The grilled fruit w/ honey and nuts also sounds great but what fruits?

                                I hate to ask the next one but (Duh-ah) WF? Maybe Whole Foods? Are you saying Whole Foods has buffalo steaks? I was just going to take this post back to the LA board throught the back door asking for hunting grounds for good bison.

                                More ughgame
                                Pin the tail on the prehistoric moderator piñata and then club it untill rock candy falls out of head.

                                1. re: JeetJet

                                  Yes sorry Whole Foods.

                                  They had apples, pears, berries of all kinds...

                          2. Beef ribs. They are very Fred Flinstone-esque. along with the turkey legs.

                            I would serve only meat, and maybe some nuts and berries? you could serve some kind of liquor/drink that's brown and call it water.