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Aug 12, 2007 07:57 PM

WWYD If your dinner guests...

Came to dinner 1 hour late because the husband decided to go out sailing. Then, once arrived, the wife decided you didn't have enough potatoes (4 very large) to make mashed potatoes (for 4 people) and you should also make rice. THEN, told you that you didn't put enough butter in the mashed potatoes, AND you made a cucumber salad, but it "didn't have enough mayo" Now... what if this dinner guest was your mother?

I recently had a baby, so my mother obviously wants me to visit her often. Usually it is easier for us if they come to me...obviously, I have a 3month old and she has a lot of crap that generally comes along with her.
However, I hate that dinner has to be mom's way, even at my house.
I know this may seem like a "Mom" rant, but seriously?? We usually try to meet up over the weekends, and we (DH and I) can't always afford to eat out, at least not right now since I'm not working and I don't want my parents to feel like they should pay if we eat out.

So, how should I handle having my parents as dinner guests? Note that Dad said that dinner was awesome and he was not the least bit difficult and also, even though he was late due to sailing, he was doing me a favor this time by bringing a piece of furniture.

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  1. Unfortunately, this one isn't really a food issue....its a mother issue. Until you wrote that this was your mother, I was thinking "why on earth would you let such a person back in your house?" As its your this point you either have to just tell her its your house, your food and you're happy to have her but she'll have to keep her comments to herself.....or, figure its just not worth the effort and either roll with it or suggest that she should go ahead and do the cooking. Maybe it'd even give you a break. Good luck and congratulations on the new kiddo.

    1 Reply
    1. re: ccbweb

      totally agree that this is a mother issue not dinner guest issue.

    2. Either serve something which you can completely prepare in advance or ask her to do the honors. Could also request her help with something which would keep her out of the kitchen. Or call her on it & point out you are both adults with differing methods but still have lots of love & respect. I finally asked my mother to reflect back on her capacities at my age (10 yrs ago) and she has been very good since then!

      1. You should be asking Ann Landers.

        Speaking of Ann Landers, do you notice how many people write her with difficulty standing up for themselves, people who can't say "no"? This seems similar.

        The question really is: what do you want to achieve? Do you want her/them to like what you do and respect your efforts? Or do you simply want to avoid arguments? In either case, you'll have to make a decision and back it up with diplomatic but firm action.

        Your point about eating out may be the key - go ahead and eat out (someplace humble) and let 'em pay, and be sure to say how much you appreciate that they're helping a tired new mother with an evening out now and then. (Solving the babysitting problem is up to you).

        Alternatively, let them bring dinner. Or order in pizza (I have it on good authority that pizza and a beer really cheer up many new mums - it certainly did for my wife).

        1. It's your mom. It all depends on what your relationship is like. If it was my mom, I'd talk to her when we were alone and tell her that she's hurting my feelings and that I'm proud of the kind of food I cook, and just leave my kitchen to me. She'd be fine with that. But I have met some mothers who just have to be right, and it's easier to keep quiet and laugh about it later over drinks with the hubby.

          1. How do the words "as long as you are under my roof, you will eat what I serve you." sound. I'm sure you heard some variation of them growing up.