Australian Barbie V American BBQ..

[purple goddess]

Ok, this is a US-centric board, but I'm doing my damnedest to edjoo-micate youse guys that there is a WHOLE 'nother world out there.

Let's not even get into the whole "'Mericanization" of my wide brown land, ok.. Suffice it to say that myself, and plenty others like me are fighting tooth and nail to stop Straya becoming the newest State of the good Ole US of A.

BBQ to an Aussie means one thing. Dead animal over flames. It is the bastion of the male... A BBQ is NEVER a "BBQ", it is ALWAY a "barbie"

"Grab a 6-pack, bung the ball and chain in the Holden and come on over for a barbie..."

Pronounced Baaarbie.

It is NEVER a "Q"

It is NOT a "grill".. a grill is an appliance that usually sits above your oven, it has flames that come out top jets and it is good for searing curly-tailed lamb chops or browning crumpets...... INSIDE.

A Barbie is NOT a grill... but the wire rack you place portions of dead animals on can, sometimes be called the grill..

"Darl, do you want me to do these snags on the plate or on the grill?"

A barbie must have snags... and chops.

You can get all poncy and buy designer snags... beef and burgundy, chicken and leek... but a barbie isn't a barbie without some variety of snag.

Chops. Lamb Chops. Again, you can get all fancy with a marinade, but BBQ chops are de rigeur for an Aussie barbie.

See http://www.votelamb.com.au/ for what I mean.

Steak, caramelised onions,chicken shazliks, veggies done on the barbie are all good.. even burgers (they are NOT called patties, the actual lump of flattened meat is called the "burger")but it's not a barbie without snags and chops.

Barbies (the appliances) come in 2 varieties. Gas and Not Gas,

Gas barbies are directly related to the size of the male owners "wedding tackle". A man cannot hold his head up in public if all he has is a 2 burner patio barbie. These days, wok burners and ovens and other poncy bits of crud are being attatched to barbies. There is testosterone kudos for having these things on your barbie, but no self respecting Aussie man would ever actually USE them.

Not Gas barbies.. the original and considered by some, the best. Made from a dozen random house bricks and a bit of steel plate.

Thats it.

Gas barbies can have volcanic rocks laid across the burners, but never EVER "aromatics" or poncy crap like that. The flavour comes from years of rancid grease, built up and flamed off before any food is laid on. Flavour can come from marinades, but NEVER poofy "vine clippings".It is a well known Aussie fact that using "hickory smoked BBQ chips" causes your testicles to invert back up the inguinal canal.

Tru dat.

Non gas barbies use wood. You could sneak a bit of vine clippings in here, or maybe some applewood, but it's all good as long as you don;t tell yer mates that you've done it. It's wood, right? That's all

Meat. Must. Burn.

Quickly.

None of this "slow roasted and smoked" rot. THAT'S NOT BARBIE-ING!

And you have to drink while you Barbie.. beer or bourbon... and you have to poke the meat.. a lot. And you have to have mates to stand around with and talk.. about important things.. like "How many burner's you got, mate?" "You use the rotisserie much?", "wok burner, eh?? Ever Use it?"

And on no account must a man ever EVER comment on another man's barbie technique... No "you're poking the chops a bit much, aren't you, mate?" is sure grounds for a quick death-by-tongs.. and no court in our wide brown land would convict you.

So, next time "y'a'll" talk about BBQ, just remember that there are 20,434,176 (July 2007 est.) people in the world who don't think that smoking something for 3days and then slow braising it is "BBQ", they just think it's pretty damn silly.

We also think they way you spell programme is dumb, too.

**pg stands back and waits for the flaming to begin**

[tom porc]

The barbies I saw and ate from were teflon griddles. No rack, no flame, no smoke, no charcoal and therefore should not be called BBQ grills. No argument from me.

However, I did enjoy the kangaroo meat.

[swsidejim]

To each there own. I dont see it as a matter of which is better, just a matter of different strokes for different folks.

With the above said I prefer using my smoker for some applications, and I like firing up my charcoal grill for others. Luckily I can do either.

[Hungry Celeste]

I won't flame, but I will say that your screed simply highlights the fact that you've clearly never enjoyed long, low-n-slow cooked brisket from Smitty's or Kreuz Market in Lockhart, TX, or sausages from City Market in Luling, TX. Or pulled pork on a bun with coleslaw while in Memphis. Or anything from the Carolinas with mustard-based sauce. Real pit BBQ, cooked over hardwood or hardwood charcoal, is infinitely superior to anything cooked over gas, no matter where on earth it is cooked! See Lolis Elie's "Smokestack Lightning" for a great tour of BBQ in the southeast US, complete with recipes & photos. (full disclosure: I own a gas grill that I use at least weekly, year-round, but I call that "grilling" and know that it has little to do with "true Q".)

[mark]

i'm assuming a "snag" is a sausage?

i'm also assuming your post is a tongue-in-cheek attempt to engender some discussion as to what is often an ethnocentric take on bbq. writing as one who has mounted that high horse in the past, i will say for the record that i do recognize that "bbq" can, in a general sense, refer to a wide range of cooking techniques. i'm also aware that the low-and-slow method is not endemic to america, and also goes by a variety of monikers.

that said, i can only assume that, if you really think the low-and-slow technique is "damn silly", you haven't had the good stuff. it's divine, and cannot be duplicated elsewise. that's not to say that the high-and-fast version doesn't produce some great eats, too.

other than that, your description of bbq-ing/barbie-ing (what most of us american sticklers would call grilling) doesn't sound much different, other than in name, from how we do it here. the only exception i might make is that the size of the barbie is often in inverse proportion to the size of the "wedding tackle".

fun post!

[Sam Fujisaka]

First we had foodies who don't often BBQ or barbie.

Then we have CHers who smoke low and slow (albeit poncy to you, you bl**$y Shiela).

Now we have the other 99% of BOTH Mercans and Strines who singe mammals while drinking beer and bourbon, scratching their wedding tackle, and poking the meat.

LOTS more in common than I previously realized.