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For sharing, I think Perbacco's whole pasta orders are a better size.
My favorite dishes there have been the braised beef and pork entrees. I think they do that as well or better than anyone, while the pastas aren't quite as good as Incanto's, La Ciccia's, or Oliveto's.
Perbacco is sort of Manhattanish (or at least not ypically San Franciscan) in its scale, polish, and the crowd of often expensively suited people in the bar.
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I haven't been to Quince or Canteen.
I don't fall into the love-love-love Delfina camp. The last couple of times I've been have been disappointing. I can't put my finger on it, exactly, but there seemed to be too much water/broth floating around in my plate.
Perbacco I didn't like as much the first time as the second. I would recommend, if you go there, to order small plates/half-pastas and share. They make their own salames (like everyone else in SF, it seems...) and the crudo (esp. hamachi-blood orange-fennel) are really nice, too.
You've inspired me to call Quince! I've been meaning to. Thanks.
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Quince has the best food, Perbacco has the most urban vibe, Delfina offers a California perspective on rustic Italian cooking, and Canteen offers a talented chef cooking for you in a tiny coffee shop sumptuously decorated with green linoleum.
My choices would be Quince for sure, and then either Perbacco or Delfina depending on which you think would be most interesting.
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Delfina is my favorite restaurant in SF and although I like Perbacco and Quince (the other two Italian restaurants on your list) I think the food and the experience is superior at Delfina. Quince has a more formal atmosphere and a less lively scene. Perbacco is a more "corporate" probably due to its location in the Financial District. I also love Canteen, so that would be the other one I'd recommend, but note that if you are with a group of more than 4 people I don't think they can accommodate you at one table.
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re: mchan02
This recent topic covers the differences among Delfina, Incanto, and some of the top Italian places:
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