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Startles me at first but it is way less intrusive than many other "events" that occur at a resto. If you keep it to a minimum, 1-2 shots per course it's a little intrusive but no biggie.
If you want a real hoot, go on a cruise and go to the Final Buffet. You have every Tom Dick and Harry taking pictures of the ice sculptures depicting the seven wondersof the world, the chopped liver in the shape of a heart, the tuna salad in the shape of an whale, and the chicken salad in the shape of a rooster. Enough flashes that it looks like to start of the Super Bowl. Can you imagine having to sit through this slide show? "Oh and here's the chopped liver."
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I use flash all the time for food photos for my blog. I have never had anyone complain and will often get people asking about why I am taking photos or if I would like them to take a photo of me and my guests (which I often do). On other occasions, waitstaff will offer to take photos of the group and none have ever asked me to refrain from using the flash.
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Myself, I think it's perfectly fine. But opinions vary...
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