375349 Tue Feb 27 02:02:49 -0800 2007 314 29 Not About Food 0 2332946 "Veal is a very young beef and, like a very young girlfriend, it's cute but boring and expensive." - P.J. O'Rourke Tue Feb 27 02:02:49 -0800 2007 75879 Pigeage 1 2332993 Voltaire said, «Rien ne serait plus fatiguant que mangeant et buvant si Dieu ne leur avait pas fait un plaisir aussi bien qu'une nécessité. » ...which translated into English is something like, "Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking, if God hadn't made them a pleasure as well as a necessity." Tue Feb 27 04:04:04 -0800 2007 2332946 46652 MarkhamDee 1 2333103 I like this one by Fran Lebowitz. I hope it's true! "Do you know on this one block you can buy croissants in five different places? There's one store called Bonjour Croissant. It makes me want to go to Paris and open a store called Hello Toast". Tue Feb 27 05:46:05 -0800 2007 2332946 57768 ambrose 2 3207057 Here in Toronto there are two sister restaurants: one called "Bonjour Brioche" and the other is "Hello Toast." Both are pretty good, too! Thu Dec 13 23:34:46 -0800 2007 2333103 141494 gps_shag 1 2333108 "beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" - Ben Franklin Tue Feb 27 05:47:01 -0800 2007 2332946 65780 jujuthomas 2 3075818 Love that one. DT Mon Oct 29 06:48:40 -0700 2007 2333108 11291 Davwud 2 3078884 after the 1906 San Francisco earthquake one of the largest distilleries was standing proudly among the ruins. The ditty went something like this: if tis true god spanked the town for being over frisky, why'd he burn the churches down and save holtag's whiskey? Tue Oct 30 01:01:37 -0700 2007 2333108 57890 KaimukiMan 2 4780093 Likely a false attestation though. http://tiny.cc/wPMQ6 Tue Jun 16 22:05:21 -0700 2009 2333108 24055 Atahualpa 1 2333131 "Health food makes me sick". - Calvin Trillin "I went to a restaurant that serves 'Breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance." -Steven Wright Tue Feb 27 05:57:12 -0800 2007 2332946 56278 xena 2 2333276 "It says here breakfast any time.... I'll have eggs in the age on enlightment" - Mikey from Swingers Tue Feb 27 06:45:31 -0800 2007 2333131 12821 ESNY 3 3050249 And the waitress says later, "Calm down, Voltaire." I never got that before now. Fri Oct 19 12:19:36 -0700 2007 2333276 58128 ajs228 3 4796387 I'm not sure what 'Mikey from Swingers' is, but Xena is right, that is old Stephen Wright material. My second favorite New Yorker cartoon: Lettering seen on the frosted plate-glass door in a university hallway. Foreign Language Department Russian French Italian Creamy Italian Mon Jun 22 17:46:59 -0700 2009 2333276 10156 Steve 1 2333329 Sex is good, but not as good as fresh, sweet corn. ~Garrison Keillor Cheese - milk's leap toward immortality. ~Clifton Fadiman Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? ~Author Unknown A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat. ~Old New York Proverb I'll bet what motivated the British to colonize so much of the world is that they were just looking for a decent meal. ~Martha Harrison A couple from movies: "I'll have what she's having", from When Harry met Sally. And my favorite: "Soilent Green is people!" Tue Feb 27 07:02:30 -0800 2007 2332946 77683 Lazy Susan 2 2340373 Yep my favorite. Soylent is the spelling. Wed Feb 28 22:32:03 -0800 2007 2333329 10771 eve 2 4650594 Funny....I am betting Mr. Keillor had some fairly disappointed mates in his life!!!LOL Sun May 03 14:12:55 -0700 2009 2333329 39457 nkeane 3 4715709 You haven't had really, really fresh sweet corn, have you? Tue May 26 11:10:30 -0700 2009 4650594 10996 JK Grence the Cosmic Jester 2 4720887 Soylent Green is made of people!!! It's people!!! Wed May 27 21:30:20 -0700 2009 2333329 264146 kubasd 1 2333366 What is patriotism but the love of the food one ate as a child? ~Lin Yutang This is the best Barbecue I ever ate in a building that wasn't condemned. - Diner review of Red Hot and Blue, Arlington, VA Tue Feb 27 07:16:30 -0800 2007 2332946 12600 georgeb 1 2333406 "I ended up doing a show called Squid Pro Quo that really got out of hand. It was not one of my proud and shining moments." "Slicing a warm slab of bacon is a lot like giving a ferret a shave. No matter how careful you are, somebody's going to get hurt." "Now my wife may think she's locked me out of the kitchen but MacGyver's not my patron saint for nothing." All by Alton Brown. Tue Feb 27 07:27:53 -0800 2007 2332946 18385 CDouglas 1 2333407 The gentle art of gastronomy is a friendly one. It hurdles the language barrier, makes friends among civilized people, and warms the heart. Samuel Chamberlain I found this to be true last summer when assisting with the cooking for a day after the wedding brunch. Some of the brides family were Italian who spoke nno English. Her step-motjer and I sat at the same table discussing food and recipes with the brother of the bride translating back and forth. Tue Feb 27 07:27:59 -0800 2007 2332946 10285 Candy 1 2333530 "I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond." Mae West Tue Feb 27 08:02:05 -0800 2007 2332946 15280 Flynn1 2 2334500 "Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks." Marilyn Wann Tue Feb 27 12:54:51 -0800 2007 2333530 27327 MsMaryMc 1 2333541 "My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people." -- Orson Welles. Tue Feb 27 08:03:50 -0800 2007 2332946 16381 DingoWallaby 1 2333592 "Never eat more than you can lift" Miss Piggy "Sex is good, but not as good as fresh, sweet corn" Garrison Keillor Tue Feb 27 08:16:28 -0800 2007 2332946 66016 Spoonula 1 2333603 "I bought a box of animal crackers and it said on it "Do not eat if seal is broken." So I opened up the box, and sure enough... " (Brian Kiley) "I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead." (Woody Allen) "You can never have enough garlic. With enough garlic, you can eat The New York Times." (Morley Safer) Tue Feb 27 08:22:25 -0800 2007 2332946 12746 Nom De Plume 1 2333606 "The definition of eternity is two people and a ham." Tue Feb 27 08:23:13 -0800 2007 2332946 41042 jacquelyncoffey 2 2334723 That is from Dorothy Parker and she was so right. Tue Feb 27 13:34:31 -0800 2007 2333606 10285 Candy 3 2336823 Thanks for the source, when my parents were newlyweds, they bought a ham for easter and spent WEEKS trying to eat it all, that's when my father adopted the quote :-) Wed Feb 28 06:19:31 -0800 2007 2334723 41042 jacquelyncoffey 4 2339887 I don't get it. What's so hard about eating a ham? Wed Feb 28 19:13:30 -0800 2007 2336823 19911 SomeRandomIdiot 5 2342629 Whole hams (as opposed to just the butt or shank that one typically finds for sale in supermarkets and grocery stores) weigh in anywhere between 13 and 20 lbs. Assuming two people each eating half a lb/day every day 'til it's gone, that's 12-19 straight days of leftover ham. Not exactly eternity, but after a week, it sure as he** is gonna FEEL like it. Thu Mar 01 13:34:11 -0800 2007 2339887 23835 mclaugh 6 2342732 I thought it was about the fighting and arguing over the ham, and i was imagining something like a proscuitto or jamon. we're all stumped i guess. Thu Mar 01 13:52:28 -0800 2007 2342629 30158 amkirkland 7 2346617 Nope. It'd definitaly a negative comment on ham. Dorothy Parker was renowned for her acerbic commentary and casutic wit. (When informed that President Calvin Cooledge had died, she is reported to have replied, "How can they tell?") Among her many bon mots: • You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think (when challenged to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence); • Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life; • If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised; • Do me a favor. When you get home, throw your mother a bone' • Too f***ing busy, and vice versa [Reply to her editor who was bugging her for her belated work while she was on her honeymoon] Fri Mar 02 14:00:09 -0800 2007 2342732 23835 mclaugh 8 2363126 And isn't there also "Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker." Wed Mar 07 14:47:55 -0800 2007 2346617 10985 MMRuth 9 2363137 I know that's in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (the original one). Wed Mar 07 14:52:13 -0800 2007 2363126 12813 Katie Nell 10 2363156 actually - I thought it was a Dorothy Parker quote - will check it out! Edit - but I would be wrong - apparently it's Ogden Nash. Wed Mar 07 14:58:20 -0800 2007 2363137 10985 MMRuth 11 2363163 Well, Wonka might have stolen it from Dottie, but that's where I know that quote from! Yep, that's right... I can quote Willy Wonka, but not Dorothy Parker! ;-) Wed Mar 07 15:00:34 -0800 2007 2363156 12813 Katie Nell 11 2363715 It was Ogden Nash but it'r not on a par with his "Toward a better world I contribute my modest smidgin; I eat the squab, lest it become a pigeon." It was Richard Armour, however, who came up with this zinger: "Shake and shake the ketchup bottle. None'll come, and then a lot'll." Wed Mar 07 17:42:26 -0800 2007 2363156 10255 Gary Soup 9 3013816 And to finish the quote...but liquor is quicker, but sex won't rot your teeth. I believe that was from Ogden Nash. Mon Oct 08 06:20:21 -0700 2007 2363126 10285 Candy 10 3030689 I was going to w/hold this one but I can't: Poker in the front and liquor in the back. Fri Oct 12 20:28:01 -0700 2007 3013816 13030 free sample addict aka Tracy L 11 3075829 Kept me from doing it;-) DT Mon Oct 29 06:55:03 -0700 2007 3030689 11291 Davwud 6 2345856 Ahhh. That's the part I didn't get. I figured itd be 3-5 lbs. Fri Mar 02 11:20:35 -0800 2007 2342629 19911 SomeRandomIdiot 1 2333645 Laughter is brightest in the place where food is. – Irish Proverb A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. - Samuel Butler As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists. – Joan Gussow Look at those cows and remember that the greatest scientists have never discovered how to turn grass into milk. – Michael Pupin We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police. – Jeff Mander The only thing it would be nice to have more of would be M&M’s. – Shannon Lucid (after returning from a space shuttle mission) We are living in a world where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons. Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat. – Jim Davis Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, sugar, caffeine and fat. – Alex Levine Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.—Sophia Loren A billion hours ago, human life appeared on earth. A billion minutes ago, Christianity emerged. A billion Coca-Colas ago was yesterday morning. Tue Feb 27 08:33:48 -0800 2007 2332946 71053 bonmann 2 4817158 I like children - fried WC Fields Vegetarian: an old Indian word for bad hunter It’s so beautifully arranged on the plate - you know someone’s fingers have been all over it. -- Julia Child Lisa: 'Don't you have anything vegetarian?' Lunchlady doris: 'Just these hotdog buns...they're full of bunly goodness.' Tue Jun 30 01:29:48 -0700 2009 2333645 277493 DallasDude 2 4841173 Make that diet cokes and that's me! These are brilliant! Wed Jul 08 16:19:35 -0700 2009 2333645 1092058 thinkgarnish.com 1 2333905 "The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." - Calvin Trillin "Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are." - Matt Lauer (on NBC's Today Show). Tue Feb 27 10:47:10 -0800 2007 2332946 10532 LindaWhit 1 2333936 One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well. -- Virginia Woolf Tue Feb 27 10:54:03 -0800 2007 2332946 48311 Lindy74 1 2333966 "Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana." - Groucho Marx Tue Feb 27 10:58:10 -0800 2007 2332946 12398 SuzyInChains 1 2333990 "Generally speaking, I think it is fair to say, that I am a friend to the creatures of the earth, when I am not busy eating them or wearing them." --John Hodgman Tue Feb 27 11:03:49 -0800 2007 2332946 62675 E.Kolliopoulos 1 2334028 "I love animals. They're delicious!" "I eat vegetarians for breakfast." -- both from bumper stickers I saw years ago "A woman drove me to drink, and I never even had the courtesy to thank her." -- W.C. Fields Tue Feb 27 11:09:24 -0800 2007 2332946 72564 mangiatore 2 2334215 You just reminded me: I love cats but I don't think I could eat a whole one. Tue Feb 27 11:46:02 -0800 2007 2334028 71053 bonmann 3 3542118 Not if you don't have a sense of humor, I suppose. (Edit: crap...replied to the wrong person.) Sat Mar 29 22:58:49 -0700 2008 2334215 13700 ricepad 2 2343008 Another from Fields: Q: Do you like children? A: Only if they are properly cooked. Thu Mar 01 14:54:54 -0800 2007 2334028 43399 atheorist 2 3075891 I saw a great bumper sticker this morning: Vegetarian: an old Indian word for bad hunter Mon Oct 29 07:21:31 -0700 2007 2334028 26725 swsidejim 2 4800852 Do you like children? W.C. Fields..Yes, If they're properly cooked. Wed Jun 24 02:02:20 -0700 2009 2334028 28638 phantomdoc 1 2334069 This is fun! "The trouble with Italian food is that 2 or 3 days later, you're hungry again!" - Anon Not about food, but one of my favs... "I like to have one martini, two at the very most... after three I'm under the table, after four I'm under the host!" - Dorothy Parker Tue Feb 27 11:18:48 -0800 2007 2332946 47454 HoneybeeSF 1 2334165 It's not exactly a quote, but I always liked this: On Liquor Production by David M. Smith A friend who's in liquor production Owns a still of astounding construction. The alcohol boils Through old magnet coils; She says that it's "proof by induction." Tue Feb 27 11:37:28 -0800 2007 2332946 16770 psb 1 2334234 "I say it's spinach, and I say the hell with it! ! !" --- E. B. White, caption for an old cartoon in The New Yorker Tue Feb 27 11:50:35 -0800 2007 2332946 14832 Uncle Ira 2 2335426 If I remember right, the cartoon that poster Uncle Ira mentions is the picture of a husband & wife at the dinner table. She says "It's broccoli, dear" -- and then he retorts with "I say it's spinach, and I say the hell with it!" Tue Feb 27 16:25:58 -0800 2007 2334234 42470 blue room 3 2336218 Funny, I recall it being a little girl and it was a Steigtz (?) drawing. Tue Feb 27 20:44:29 -0800 2007 2335426 10642 bryan 4 2336244 I think the drawing is by Carl Rose, but the caption was written by E. B. White. (And you’re right.. it was a little girl talking to her mom.) It’s just one of those lines that always makes me laugh..... Uncle Ira Tue Feb 27 20:57:36 -0800 2007 2336218 14832 Uncle Ira 5 2342971 I remember this one!!! Thanks for reminding me, I love that one. Thu Mar 01 14:45:31 -0800 2007 2336244 18154 prunefeet 2 2344252 "“I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.” -- George H.W. Bush Thu Mar 01 22:46:20 -0800 2007 2334234 10255 Gary Soup 1 2334238 "Life is a blur of Republicans and meat." --Zippy the Pinhead (aka Bill Griffith) Tue Feb 27 11:51:39 -0800 2007 2332946 20512 Rick_V 2 2340447 "Accept Provolone into your life." --Zippy the Pinhead (aka Bill Griffith) Wed Feb 28 23:22:37 -0800 2007 2334238 34704 Luwak 3 2344246 I have a T-shirt from Murrays that reads "You have a friend in cheeses." Thu Mar 01 22:40:50 -0800 2007 2340447 10255 Gary Soup 4 2347314 I want one! That's awesome! Fri Mar 02 17:13:50 -0800 2007 2344246 16301 Non Cognomina 1 2334256 Burgundy makes you think of silly things; Bordeaux makes you talk about them, and Champagne makes you do them.” —Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin I've been looking for the original source of this quote and I really don't think it's in Physiology of Taste. Actually, I'd welcome any ideas. Also, a favorite quote from Physiology... is: "A meal without cheese is like a beautiful woman with only one eye." Tue Feb 27 11:57:33 -0800 2007 2332946 64045 negronilover 2 4720896 Brillat-Savarin is full of great food quotes... All men, even those we call savages, have been so tormented by the passion for strong drinks, that limited as their capacities were, they were yet able to manufacture them. Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you who you are. The number of flavors is infinite, for every soluble body has a peculiar flavor, like none other. The sense of smell explores; deleterious substances almost always have an unpleasant smell. Those persons who suffer from indigestion, or who become drunk, are utterly ignorant of the true principles of eating and drinking. Wed May 27 21:39:06 -0700 2009 2334256 264146 kubasd 1 2334640 This is my favorite: "I've eaten dog, cat, rat, cockroach, camel penis, bee larve, scorpions, spiders, night hawk, and pre-born duck embryo without feeling ill. Can't say the same for Taco Bell or McDonalds." weirdmeat.com Tue Feb 27 13:21:57 -0800 2007 2332946 54254 kobetobiko 2 3539248 funny...Not Fri Mar 28 19:34:32 -0700 2008 2334640 171261 LadyCook61 3 3543684 um, actually... Sun Mar 30 15:35:11 -0700 2008 3539248 10896 chaddict 1 2334680 The whole world is in the food business at least the consuming end. - Irma Rombauer Tue Feb 27 13:28:15 -0800 2007 2332946 11512 FAL 1 2334762 Eating pizza with a knife and fork is like making love through an interpreter. Tue Feb 27 13:40:43 -0800 2007 2332946 15217 gini 1 2335147 on a t-shirt... MEAT IS MURDER tasty, tasty, murder Tue Feb 27 15:18:33 -0800 2007 2332946 30158 amkirkland 2 2342976 This was the name of an album as well, Morrisey or the Smiths, very annoying. Thu Mar 01 14:46:56 -0800 2007 2335147 18154 prunefeet 2 2359989 My favorite bumper sticker: "Meat is Dinner" Tue Mar 06 18:50:57 -0800 2007 2335147 21171 evewitch 2 3013758 recently seen on a T-shirt: "Salad is Murder" ... showing a lettuce bowl with the red bar sign over the image. Back at the vegetarian do-gooders. Mon Oct 08 05:42:53 -0700 2007 2335147 105717 alkapal 1 2335235 Also on a bumper sticker (and t-shirt): I LOVE CATS, TOO let's trade recipes! Tue Feb 27 15:41:04 -0800 2007 2332946 13700 ricepad 2 3539245 not funny. Fri Mar 28 19:33:56 -0700 2008 2335235 171261 LadyCook61 3 3544563 Yeah, and it doesn't make any sense either. I mean, how are you going to trade recipes with someone in another car? That's just rediculous. Sun Mar 30 22:41:14 -0700 2008 3539245 58128 ajs228 1 2336291 Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will keep worms in the refrigerator. Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish, and you get rid of him on weekends. One man's meat is another man's poisson. Tue Feb 27 21:21:18 -0800 2007 2332946 23835 mclaugh 2 2338041 "If you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, he will buy an ugly hat. And if you talk about fish to a starving man, then you're a consultant." Scott Adams Wed Feb 28 11:29:39 -0800 2007 2336291 10471 danna 2 5066859 Give a fish a man, and it will eat for weeks. Tue Sep 29 09:51:15 -0700 2009 2336291 71113 Delucacheesemonger 3 5111688 signed, tony soprano Sun Oct 18 03:18:08 -0700 2009 5066859 105717 alkapal 1 2337300 Ambrose Bierce's definition of a fork: "An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth." Wed Feb 28 08:42:15 -0800 2007 2332946 57768 ambrose 2 2339942 I also like "Trichinosis - The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy." Wed Feb 28 19:28:51 -0800 2007 2337300 19911 SomeRandomIdiot 1 2337364 My personal favorite... "Many people believe the names of In 'n Out and Steak 'n Shake perfectly describe the contrast in bedroom techniques between the coast and the heartland." ~Roger Ebert Wed Feb 28 08:55:31 -0800 2007 2332946 12813 Katie Nell 1 2338486 "Leave the gun. . .take the cannoli." -- The Godfather Wed Feb 28 13:10:02 -0800 2007 2332946 12858 Covert Ops 1 2338603 "I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said "F*ck it. Cut em up." "I saw a wino eating grapes, and I said dude - you've got to WAIT." "If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be f--ked up." "I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall." "Pickles are cucumbers that sold out." That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for the bad food when it got to your stomach. Like you could eat a carrot with an onion ring and they would travel down to your stomach, then they would get there, and the carrot would say, "It's cool, he's with me." I have a cheese-shredder at home, which is its positive name. They don't call it by its negative name, which is sponge-ruiner. Because I wanted to clean it, and now I have little bits of sponge that would melt easily over tortilla chips... ---All by Mitch Hedburg Wed Feb 28 13:30:15 -0800 2007 2332946 12918 Offbalance 2 2338785 I drove 5 hours one way and 4 hours back to see mitch about 6 years ago. I'm glad i did when I had the chance. Wed Feb 28 14:09:36 -0800 2007 2338603 30158 amkirkland 3 2341688 I am VERY jealous! Thu Mar 01 10:29:26 -0800 2007 2338785 14093 Melanie 2 3012655 Man. I am sooo sorry this guy accidently offed himself. I have a cd of one of his shows in my car and it still cracks me up to this very day. Sun Oct 07 13:58:28 -0700 2007 2338603 113872 diablo 2 3105402 This Mitch Hedburg quote was always one of my favorites: "I bought a donut and they gave me a receipt for the donut. I don't need a receipt for a donut. I'll give you the money, you give me the donut - end of transaction." Wed Nov 07 18:50:44 -0800 2007 2338603 124920 thegingerbreadgirl 1 2339859 Seen on the front of a T-shirt: P.E.T.A. Seen on the back of the same T-shirt: People Eating Tasty Animals Wed Feb 28 19:05:11 -0800 2007 2332946 57768 ambrose 2 4648619 Sign outside a T-shirt shop in Toronto: "If God didn't want us to eat animals, why did he make them taste so good?" Sat May 02 14:32:57 -0700 2009 2339859 48210 KevinB 2 4800854 Think that one is TED NUGENT. Wed Jun 24 02:10:03 -0700 2009 2339859 28638 phantomdoc 1 2340210 "Between the optimist and the pessimist, the difference is droll. The optimist sees the donut; the pessimist, the hole!" Oscar Wilde "Let them eat cake!" Someone other than Marie Antoinette "I am a great eater of beef, and I believe it does do harm to my wit." Shakespeare "Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs." Mark Twain "Be the bacon." Thomas Keller Wed Feb 28 21:06:04 -0800 2007 2332946 16301 Non Cognomina 1 2342722 I can't remember her exact words, but I always loved Julia Childs words on margerine: "Never will that loathsome substance cross my lips." It made a big impression on my, I heard her say that on TV maybe 30 years ago, and I have never, ever purchased margerine! Thu Mar 01 13:50:17 -0800 2007 2332946 24930 kmr 1 2342730 1 martini 2 martini 3 martini FLOOR! Thu Mar 01 13:52:13 -0800 2007 2332946 10285 Candy 2 2342780 I've often heard that with tequila, it seems to roll of the tongue easier for me. :-) I had a director one time who would proclaim, after mispronouncing something, that he had had "tee many martoonies." Thu Mar 01 14:01:19 -0800 2007 2342730 12858 Covert Ops 3 2342879 I think the"tee many matroonies" was an old Shelly Berman line. Thu Mar 01 14:26:11 -0800 2007 2342780 10285 Candy 4 2342998 "You know you're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without hanging on" - Dean Martin Thu Mar 01 14:53:08 -0800 2007 2342879 43399 atheorist 1 2342961 "I don't remember where we were, I don't remember the name of the girl, but the wine... was Chambertin!" Hugh Johnson Thu Mar 01 14:43:55 -0800 2007 2332946 78948 winebitch 1 2344223 "If we're not supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?" "Just hand over the chocolate and no one will get hurt" -Bumper stickers Thu Mar 01 22:24:56 -0800 2007 2332946 56950 misterbrucie 1 2344290 "Beer: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems" Homer Simpson Thu Mar 01 23:16:14 -0800 2007 2332946 30158 amkirkland 2 2363743 That's the best...gotta love Homer. Wed Mar 07 17:49:07 -0800 2007 2344290 80528 DBrooks 3 3075848 "Donuts. Is there anything they can't do??" H. Simpson Mon Oct 29 07:04:49 -0700 2007 2363743 11291 Davwud 4 4721934 "Can't Talk ... Eating" Home Simpson Thu May 28 09:33:14 -0700 2009 3075848 237148 bermudagourmetgoddess 5 4722149 Homer is an unstoppable fount of memorable food quotes. In the episode "Guess who's criticizing dinner" (Homer becomes a food critic for the Springfield Shopper...one of the best ever in my opinion) he sings a little ditty ending " ...I'll eat eggplant...I'd even eat a baby deer" which cracks me up completely. Love the equivocal quality of "I'll eat eggplant" - has a whiff of "if I'm forced to" about it. Thu May 28 10:35:20 -0700 2009 4721934 13709 buttertart 6 4722300 "Homer is an unstoppable fount of memorable quotes." PERIOD. But that's another story. How 'bout, "All work and no beer make Homer, something, something, something." DT Thu May 28 11:16:13 -0700 2009 4722149 11291 Davwud 7 4722881 "That wonderful, magical animal." (the source of ham, bacon, and pork chops). Also applies to Homer. Thu May 28 14:02:32 -0700 2009 4722300 13709 buttertart 8 4821312 "All right brain, you don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer." - HS Wed Jul 01 09:44:18 -0700 2009 4722881 203536 Spends Rent on Food 9 4826220 You should drown in a vat of whiskey. W.C. Fields....Oh death, where is thy sting. Thu Jul 02 19:27:49 -0700 2009 4821312 28638 phantomdoc 1 2344366 "In the heart of every great cook is a Chinese guy" Anthony Bourdain Fri Mar 02 01:38:51 -0800 2007 2332946 41563 SunnysideUp 1 2344376 "Nobody ever goes there anymore, it's too crowded." -Yogi Berra, on a popular New York Restaurant Fri Mar 02 02:00:29 -0800 2007 2332946 24644 Vexorg 1 2346001 Lily Bollinger on champagne: "I drink it when I'm happy and when I'm sad. Sometimes I drink it when I'm alone. When I have company I consider it obligatory. I trifle with it if I'm not hungry and I drink it when I am. Otherwise I never touch it, unless I'm thirsty." Fri Mar 02 11:49:23 -0800 2007 2332946 79063 zsqw 1 2348496 "I never eat healthy foods or exercise because when I die I want to be very very sick" " I used to frequent a German/Chinese restaurant but I stopped. Half an hour after eating there I got hungry for power" I love vegetarians. I just don't know what their f***ing problem is. I've never met a jolly vegetarian I have a friend who is an ovo-lacto vegetarian. Me, I'm a porco-vegetarian Sat Mar 03 08:19:39 -0800 2007 2332946 53134 ishmael 2 3013773 Was the German/Chinese quote from Woody Allen? Mon Oct 08 05:56:17 -0700 2007 2348496 105717 alkapal 3 3033044 no alkapal, it wasn't, although it sounds like woody. instead, it was that great stand up comedian and joke writer, dick cavett. http://www.sheckymagazine.com/cavett.htm Sun Oct 14 07:28:20 -0700 2007 3013773 105717 alkapal 4 3033454 I seem to remember it from Woody's "Without feathers" but I can't find my copy to confirm. Sun Oct 14 11:51:40 -0700 2007 3033044 53134 ishmael 1 2356915 "I was at this restaurant. The sign said "Breakfast Anytime." So I ordered French Toast in the Renaissance." Stephen Wright Tue Mar 06 05:44:31 -0800 2007 2332946 66016 Spoonula 1 2356942 From 'Crocodile Dundee' (of all movies) when asked if the bbq'ed bat was good, "Nah, needs garlic". From a storypeople print "I have vegetarians in my past, but they're gone now and I'm much happier". Unknown "I went on a diet a fortnight ago and all I've lost is two weeks" Tue Mar 06 05:59:18 -0800 2007 2332946 24646 ali patts 2 3012547 "I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks." — Joe E. Lewis. Sun Oct 07 12:58:06 -0700 2007 2356942 65042 smrits 3 4721941 "I gave up drinking and smoking, it was the hardest hour of my life" Thu May 28 09:35:58 -0700 2009 3012547 237148 bermudagourmetgoddess 1 2357029 Never meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and go well with ketchup. bumper sticker Tue Mar 06 06:37:58 -0800 2007 2332946 25244 rockycat 2 2359910 This would be a great fortune cookie find in a chinese fusion restaurant. Tue Mar 06 18:18:26 -0800 2007 2357029 16301 Non Cognomina 1 2360463 I don't recall whether it was Julia Child for sure (I think it was) who said: "If your food is beautiful on the plate, you can be certain that someone's hands have been all over it." Or something to that effect. Tue Mar 06 22:06:48 -0800 2007 2332946 80141 ccbweb 2 2360639 Somehow that reminds me of a remark made years ago by a slightly tipsy Graham Kerr, aka The Galloping Gourmet. After dropping a whole chicken on the floor, he paused a moment, then retrieved it and put it back on the platter, saying something like, “remember ladies, what goes on in YOUR kitchen is YOUR business!” Wed Mar 07 00:28:20 -0800 2007 2360463 34704 Luwak 3 2361358 No, that was Julia Child Wed Mar 07 08:23:36 -0800 2007 2360639 10285 Candy 4 2361824 Actually, I was watching an urban myth show, and that never happened... at least her dropping a chicken on the floor on camera never happened. Wed Mar 07 10:06:10 -0800 2007 2361358 12813 Katie Nell 5 2363095 I read a recent article about the beginning of the JC shows with Russel Morash. The chicken incident was mentioned again. I guess I am going to have to buy the CD of all of the shows and check it out. Wed Mar 07 14:40:45 -0800 2007 2361824 10285 Candy 6 2363117 I sure would like to see it if it did happen! Wed Mar 07 14:46:18 -0800 2007 2363095 12813 Katie Nell 6 2363141 Well, according to snopes.com, which is usually pretty reliable when it comes to urban myths, the chicken incident never happened. However, Julia did admit to a 'potato pancake incident'. http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/julia.htm Wed Mar 07 14:53:33 -0800 2007 2363095 57768 ambrose 7 2363594 Yeah I know about Snopes and use it frequently but the interview with Morash brought it back up again. He was the producer so I tend to believe, but as i said I am just going to have to get the CD and verify it for myself. The article pointed out that the time is the shows were taped in real time and there was no going back later and redoing anything. They just had to go with what happened and deal with it. Wed Mar 07 17:03:29 -0800 2007 2363141 10285 Candy 8 2363792 Well, have fun but suggest you get the DVD rather than the CD. LOL. Wed Mar 07 18:07:59 -0800 2007 2363594 57768 ambrose 2 2362278 Yes, it was the great and glorious JC. As I recall it, she was giving her definition of Nouvelle Cuisine: “Food that’s been so artfully prepared, and so beautifully arranged on the plate, that you just know that someone’s fingers have been all over it” Wed Mar 07 11:33:09 -0800 2007 2360463 14832 Uncle Ira 1 2360922 "Bacon is a vegetable" -- t-shirt sold by webcomic "Diesel Sweeties" "I hate people who are not serious about their meals." -- Oscar Wilde "We plan, we toil, we suffer - in the hope of what? A camel-load of idol's eyes? The title deeds of Radio City? The empire of Asia? A trip to the moon? No, no, no, no. Simply to wake just in time to smell coffee and bacon and eggs." -- J. B. Priestly Here's one I remember (too late) every time I have a bad meal at a restaurant that's been open for less than a month: "The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese." -- Steven Wright "We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink." -- Epicurus "Bread and butter, devoid of charm in the drawing-room, is ambrosia eating under a tree." -- Elizabeth Russell "Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly." -- M. F. K. Fisher "Tell me what you eat, I'll tell you who you are." -- Anthelme Brillat-Savarin "Let us eat and drink; for tomorrow we shall die." -- Isaiah 22:13 Wed Mar 07 06:24:01 -0800 2007 2332946 10143 MC Slim JB 2 3050305 I got the "Bacon is a vegetable" shirt for Christmas. Came with a bumper sticker too. My favorite phrase has always been, "Bacon makes everything better." Fri Oct 19 12:31:37 -0700 2007 2360922 58128 ajs228 3 3095084 I loved it on a recent Iron Chef when Jeffrey Steingerten said, "The only thing more enjoyable than chocolate is bacon." Sun Nov 04 20:07:02 -0800 2007 3050305 107491 dinner belle 4 3095934 Then Jeffrey Steingerten would love the chocolate bar I just saw in the cheese store around the corner - & I swear this is true - dark chocolate covered, applewood smoked bacon! Mon Nov 05 08:04:22 -0800 2007 3095084 98577 rfneid 4 3107112 Or Ted Allen on Iron Chef, "Two words to improve any dish. Ba, Con" Thu Nov 08 09:53:03 -0800 2007 3095084 58128 ajs228 4 4650471 I had pork mole last night that was essentially ham chocolate fondue, so I beg to differ. Sun May 03 13:05:53 -0700 2009 3095084 40486 Cinnamon 2 3542192 "Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you will be in Utah" Sign in Wendover Nevada just before crossing over into Utah. Sun Mar 30 00:35:25 -0700 2008 2360922 169832 NVJims 1 2362323 The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in the world. - Robert Orben Wed Mar 07 11:41:38 -0800 2007 2332946 32189 agalarneau 1 2363154 Forgive me if this has been mentioned...but a great little tome is "Never Eat More Than You Can lift" by Sharon Tyler Herbst.. http://www.amazon.com/Never-More-Other-Quotes-Quips/dp/0553069012/ref=sr_1_1/102-0171111-8325775?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1173308185&sr=1-1 Hope the above link works...many, many quotes, and lots of fun to read! Wed Mar 07 14:57:24 -0800 2007 2332946 23350 Jesdamala 2 2365639 Or "never eat anything bigger than your head" from Kliban (wrote books of humorous cartoons mostly about cats) Thu Mar 08 10:15:53 -0800 2007 2363154 18154 prunefeet 3 2365962 Also Kliban (visulaize cat w/ guitar): Love to eat them mousies Mousies what I love to eat Bite they tiny heads off Nibble they tiny feet (Apologies for any misquoting...that was from memory) Thu Mar 08 11:20:12 -0800 2007 2365639 10471 danna 4 2366175 I think you got it right! And it reminded me of this one: fish heads fish heads roly poly fish heads fish heads fish heads eat them up yum Thu Mar 08 11:58:10 -0800 2007 2365962 10532 LindaWhit 5 2366290 Great video! They don't play baseball, They don't wear sweaters, They don't go to movies, They don't play drums. Thu Mar 08 12:21:04 -0800 2007 2366175 13700 ricepad 6 2367292 And did you know one of them is/was Bill Mumy - who played Will Robinson in Lost in Space? Thu Mar 08 16:06:02 -0800 2007 2366290 10532 LindaWhit 7 2369713 OMG, really??? Very funny. Fri Mar 09 10:13:19 -0800 2007 2367292 18154 prunefeet 1 2363232 A great toast "Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends" - Francis Bacon (Anglo-Irish painter) "I'm a vegetarian not because I love animals but because I hate plants" - Unattributed Wed Mar 07 15:18:56 -0800 2007 2332946 28263 oonth 1 2363702 I can't believe no one has mentioned the greatest food quote of all time: "Let them eat cake". Or as Jeffrey Dahmer said to Lorena Bobbitt: "you gonna eat that?" Wed Mar 07 17:36:59 -0800 2007 2332946 13003 whs 1 2363821 “I do wish we could chat longer, but I'm having an old friend for dinner…” - Hannibal Lecter Wed Mar 07 18:16:35 -0800 2007 2332946 57768 ambrose 1 2363998 Don't know where I read it, but " If all the coffee labeled 'Blue Mountain' were from Jamaica, Jamaica would have to be the size of Texas." Wed Mar 07 19:15:53 -0800 2007 2332946 68319 Sinicle 1 2364196 Does anyone know the exact quote and who said it that goes something like... “The job of the Chef is to take great ingredients and not ruin them.” Wed Mar 07 20:37:52 -0800 2007 2332946 10425 Charles 1 2365055 ALLEZ CUISINE!! Thu Mar 08 08:10:29 -0800 2007 2332946 12858 Covert Ops 1 2366333 "Rice is good to eat when you're really hungry and want to eat a thousand of something." -Mitch Hedber (R.I.P.) Thu Mar 08 12:28:19 -0800 2007 2332946 47201 adkim 1 2366671 From the Texas Cafe or aka 'the spoon' in Lubbock, TX (bbq) : "Don't pass salad off as food" Thu Mar 08 13:32:00 -0800 2007 2332946 47201 adkim 2 2376262 I forgot - a friends 6 year old son on vegetables, 'grows in dirt, tastes like dirt'. Out of the mouths of babes! Mon Mar 12 02:36:37 -0700 2007 2366671 24646 ali patts 1 2367705 A triple play by the late, great William Claude Dukenfield aka W.C. Fields: "Once...in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew, and we were forced to live on nothing but food and water for days" - My Little Chickadee "What contemptible scoundrel stole the corkscrew from my lunch?" - You Can't Cheat an Honest Man! "I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink: that's the one thing I'm indebted to her for." - Never Give a Sucker an Even Break Thu Mar 08 18:10:12 -0800 2007 2332946 45436 Harp00n 2 2373206 And this from Oscar Wilde; "Work is the curse of the drinking class!" Sat Mar 10 14:26:38 -0800 2007 2367705 45436 Harp00n 3 2373798 Actually that was Prof. Spooner. As in spoonerism. A pathetic yet entertaining figure. Sat Mar 10 20:32:29 -0800 2007 2373206 10400 Aromatherapy 4 2374089 Actually, the vast majority of all quotes attributed to William Archibald Spooner are considered apocryphal and he irritatedly stated so during his lifetime. George Carlin would well understand his annoyance. BTW, "A pathetic yet entertaining figure", hardly. W.A. Spooner was highly regarded by both peers and students in his over sixty years of service at New College, Oxford. The citation of this quote, as being by Oscar Wilde, is from chapter 12 of Hesketh Pearson's 1946 biography "Oscar Wilde, His Life and Wit". Moreover, spoonerism are akin to malapropism, without guile, i.e. unintentional transpositions. Wilde identified himself with anarchistic socialism and, based on many of his other quotes, it would fit his, rightfully, cynical views of the English "Ruling Class". Sun Mar 11 01:31:52 -0800 2007 2373798 45436 Harp00n 2 3075870 "I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy." W. C. Fields Mon Oct 29 07:12:52 -0700 2007 2367705 11291 Davwud 2 4800857 WC once was on the movie set and was drinking pineapple juice in a scene. He was supposed to have gin and pineapple juice. The crew pulled a prank and gave him juice without any gin. He took a sip and said . "Somebody put pineapple juice in my pineapple juice." Wed Jun 24 02:22:39 -0700 2009 2367705 28638 phantomdoc 1 2369684 “If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose." Jack Handy Fri Mar 09 10:08:11 -0800 2007 2332946 20084 moiraknows 2 3021325 "Sure Lisa, there's some magical animal that gives us bacon and ham and ribs." Homer Simpson Wed Oct 10 08:56:33 -0700 2007 2369684 42303 Tomatokid 1 2369798 "Beware of girls who don't like wine, truffles, cheese, or music." Colette Fri Mar 09 10:32:53 -0800 2007 2332946 12823 Junie D 1 2369971 "There are few foods that are not enhanced by the addition of either bacon or chocolate, but rarely both". Food Editor, Spy Magazine Fri Mar 09 11:17:12 -0800 2007 2332946 24738 LJS 1 2370087 "Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mothers tasted better the day before." Rita Rudner "Food is an important part of a balanced diet" Fran Lebowitz "Bread is the warmest,kindest of words. Write it always with a capital letter, like your own name." Anonymous "If you don't want to use butter, then use cream!" Julia Child Fri Mar 09 11:45:41 -0800 2007 2332946 23106 Flour Child 1 2371447 I spent ninety percent of all the money I made on loose women, good food and wine.. the rest I squandered. Fri Mar 09 17:55:03 -0800 2007 2332946 53134 ishmael 1 2373892 "Bad food is made without pride, by cooks who have no pride, and no love. Bad food is made by chefs who are indifferent, or who are trying to be everything to everybody, who are trying to please everyone ... Bad food is fake food ... food that shows fear and lack of confidence in people’s ability to discern or to make decisions about their lives. Food that’s too safe, too pasteurized, too healthy – it’s bad! There should be some risk, like unpasteurized cheese. Food is about rot, and decay, and fermentation….as much as it is also about freshness." - Anthony Bourdain, Interview with Chris Tan (http://www.foodfella.com/Writing%20Pages/Bourdain.html) "if you're going to kill the animal it seems only polite to use the whole thing" - Fergus Henderson, Chef of St. John in London, England "I always want to rate restaurants, like movies get rated—PG-13; NC-17. We'd get an adult rating —an R, which means no babies, no one who's going to complain about the music, no special requests." - David Chang, Chef at Momofuku Noodle Bar, NYC Advice to future cooks. "You're better off peeling potatoes at a great kitchen than working saucier at a really mediocre place." - David Chang, Chef at Momofuku Noodle Bar, NYC Sat Mar 10 21:54:24 -0800 2007 2332946 17070 xianzhong 1 2376077 I don't remember the name of the girl, I don't remember the name of the place.... But the wine-was a Chambertin. (I think it was Balzac). Sun Mar 11 22:15:58 -0700 2007 2332946 80335 nose_food 2 2376148 ....and I don't remember the author? Sun Mar 11 23:22:57 -0700 2007 2376077 10255 Gary Soup 1 3005606 (Standing at fish counter, holding a lobster) "Okay, hold on now! So you're telling me you put these little guys in boiling water, and they shriek, and they turn red and they die?" "Yes, sir." "That is THE most metal thing I have ever heard in my whole life! High five!" God bless, Dethklok! Thu Oct 04 16:01:27 -0700 2007 2332946 10896 chaddict 1 3011687 "Life is too short to eat bad food." "If PETA members were serious, they'd offer their own lives in exchange for a veal's. Who's got the barbecue sauce?" "I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain just to eat only nuts and berries." “Food is our common ground, a universal experience.” ~James Beard "I love Thanksgiving turkey. It's the only time in Los Angeles you see natural breasts." ~Arnold Schwarzenegger "As viscous as motor oil swirled in a swamp, redolent of burnt bell peppers nested in by incontinent mice and a finish reminiscent of the dregs of a stale can of Coca-Cola that someone has been using as an ashtray. Not a bad drink, though." ~Wine Tasting by T. A. Nonymous Sat Oct 06 23:54:46 -0700 2007 2332946 99521 KenWritez 1 3012731 "The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook" -Julia Child Sun Oct 07 14:32:45 -0700 2007 2332946 113872 diablo 2 3075883 I don't know how many of Julia's quotes are in here but god love her. DT Mon Oct 29 07:17:39 -0700 2007 3012731 11291 Davwud 1 3013803 Not sure if quotes on drinks are included but how about" A woman once drove me to drive and I didn't have the decency to thank here. - WC Fields I drink champagne when I'm happy and when I'm sad. Sometimes I drink it when I'm alone. When I have company I consider it obligatory. I trifle with it if I'm not hungry and drink it when I am. Otherwise I never touch it - unless I'm thirsty. ~ Madame Lilly Bollinger Mon Oct 08 06:13:49 -0700 2007 2332946 124622 Spiritchaser 2 3013853 Winston Churchill: Lady Astor: "Winston, if I were your wife I'd put poison in your coffee." Winston: "Nancy, if I were your husband I'd drink it." "Sir Winston Churchill once attended a dinner party in Virginia where wine and fried chicken were served. He asked the voluptuous hostess if he could have a piece of breast meat. She replied with her Southern drawl, Mr. Churchill, nice people don't use that word for that part of the anatomy. We say white meat.' The next day the hostess received a small box from a local florist. Inside was a beautiful corsage and a note from Churchill which read, I would be obliged if you would pin this corsage on your white meat." Mon Oct 08 06:38:37 -0700 2007 3013803 10985 MMRuth 1 3015233 Cooking is like love ~ it should be entered into with abandon, or not at all -Harriet Van Horne Mon Oct 08 12:47:55 -0700 2007 2332946 83353 aussiewonder 1 3015264 I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. A. Whitney Brown Mon Oct 08 12:54:54 -0700 2007 2332946 71196 dalaimama 1 3018535 Rules of Chocolate 1. If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly! 2. Chocolate covered raisins, orange slices, cherries, and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want! 3. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot. 4. Diet tip: Eat chocolate before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less. 5. If calories are an issue, store yoru chocolate in the refrigerator. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves. 6. If I east equal amounts of dark and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other? 7. Money talks. Chocolate sings. 8. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. 9. Q. Why is there no such organization as chocoholics anonymous? A. Because no one wants to quit. 10. Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done. 11. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy? 12. If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it’ll keep in the freezer. but if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you? Tue Oct 09 11:46:01 -0700 2007 2332946 49823 Terrieltr 1 3021317 Sous Chef: "5 second rule"; Expediter: "but it's for a VIP!" Sous Chef: "Alright 10 seconds." -(kitchen name witheld to protect the reputation) "Good cooking, good eating, good loving; Quality gets ALL". Paul Prudhomme Wed Oct 10 08:53:34 -0700 2007 2332946 42303 Tomatokid 1 3021607 Garlic is the ketchup of intellectuals. Life is too short to drink cheap wine. Wed Oct 10 10:00:39 -0700 2007 2332946 49452 SweetPhyl 2 3022016 There was a great English cook called Fanny Craddock who starred on a show with her husband Johnny who purported to be "helping" her but was actually drinking all the cooking sherry and getting pretty drunk. Once Fanny held up two huge potatoes saying "These are King Edward's" whereupon we heard Johnny's drunken voice in the background saying "They look more like King Kong's ....." Wed Oct 10 11:23:50 -0700 2007 3021607 66022 bronwen 3 3022552 from a tshirt i forgot i even had... Friends don't let friends drink White Zinfandel! Or as seen on a bumper sticker Friends don't let friends drink Starbucks Wed Oct 10 13:37:03 -0700 2007 3022016 83353 aussiewonder 1 3027475 From the (excellent) Posh Nosh: "We make our own stock, but by all means buy stock cubes if you have no self-esteem" Thu Oct 11 22:09:52 -0700 2007 2332946 87701 Lemon Curry 1 3030693 Shut your mouth and eat ---my mom Pizza is death --my doctor Fri Oct 12 20:29:26 -0700 2007 2332946 13030 free sample addict aka Tracy L 1 3037050 1. On a greeting card given to me 15 years ago - drawing of a prim young Victorian woman at table, holding plate up and laciviously licking it clean. Caption: "There is no love sincerer than the love of food." George Bernard Shaw. that one's framed in my kitchen. 2. "If we weren't supposed to eat animals, why did God make them out of meat?" (unsure of provenance of that one.) Mon Oct 15 15:16:19 -0700 2007 2332946 44619 mariacarmen 2 3051538 Number 2--Mitch Hedberg I believe Fri Oct 19 20:26:17 -0700 2007 3037050 53134 ishmael 1 3048900 To a conga beat "YOU DON'T WIN FRIENDS WITH SALAD!" -Bart Simpson Fri Oct 19 05:28:49 -0700 2007 2332946 42303 Tomatokid 1 3049869 Probably my favorite poem of all time: This Is Just To Say I have eaten the plums that were in the icebox and which you were probably saving for breakfast. Forgive me they were delicious so sweet and so cold. -- William Carlos Williams Fri Oct 19 10:48:51 -0700 2007 2332946 82739 Jeters 2 3050239 My husband recites that to me on occasion - very sexy! I have thought about having it made up as "wonderful graffiti" for our kitchen chalkboard. Fri Oct 19 12:16:05 -0700 2007 3049869 25664 meg944 2 4817161 I enjoy the wit of the poem. I recall an episode of This American Life where they had the contributers write a verion of This Is Just To Say. Here is one of those: This is just to say I have cooked the turkey that was in the fridge and which you were probably saving for Thanksgiving dinner Forgive me it was big so big and so raw Listen to that episode here: http://www.thislife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?episode=354 Tue Jun 30 01:44:48 -0700 2009 3049869 277493 DallasDude 1 3050443 I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food! ~W.C. Fields Fri Oct 19 12:57:58 -0700 2007 2332946 129052 JWalker 1 3075906 It is a tad childish but I can't believe no one has used "I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, I eat it." Also, "You can tune a piano but you can't tune a fish." "Sex is like pizza, even when it's lousy it's still pretty good." "That's a warning salvo to vegetarians everywhere." A. Bourdain in Spain minutes before a pig was to be slaughtered. "Pork fat rules!" E. Legace (Say what you want, he's right) "There are only three ingredients to this gastronomical train wreck." A. Bourdain when describing poutine (Which he very much enjoyed I might add) DT Mon Oct 29 07:26:47 -0700 2007 2332946 11291 Davwud 1 3076782 " You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. " frank zappa Mon Oct 29 11:29:36 -0700 2007 2332946 25091 cepaulsen 1 3083665 There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass! -- (Terry Pratchett, The Truth) Wed Oct 31 12:58:31 -0700 2007 2332946 15217 gini 2 4781708 I love Terry Pratchett! Great quote. Wed Jun 17 12:07:22 -0700 2009 3083665 88544 Ima Wurdibitsch 1 3086319 From "Home Grown Tomatoes", a song by Guy Clark: "only two things that money can't buy & that's true love & home grown tomatoes" Thu Nov 01 11:08:53 -0700 2007 2332946 98577 rfneid 2 3168563 Stephine Davis has a song called "Talkin' Harvest Time Blues". I will always remember the line "You have to take zucchini—we’re related!" Fri Nov 30 11:49:47 -0800 2007 3086319 49823 Terrieltr 1 3089105 A bit politically incorrect (it was 1700, after all), but, from Congreve's The Way of the World: To drink is a Christian diversion Unknown to the Turk or the Persian : Let Mahometan fools, Live by heathenish rules, And be damn'd over teacups and coffee; But let British lads sing, Crown a health to the King. And a fig for our Sultan and Sophy! [sophie = shah] I just want to add that I do have a few goods friends who are muslim. Also, apparently after he left the Catholic Church, Martin Luther was criticised by a fellow reformer for showing undue pleasure in food and drink. His reply was something like "Did not God create the trout that swims in the Rhine, and the grape that grows on its banks? Should I not then take pleasure in His labours?" Fri Nov 02 09:31:52 -0700 2007 2332946 91415 hungry_pangolin 2 3094999 Mordechai Richler's comment on Canadian wine (it's really improved since then) "There is just so much bad wine I can drink for my country." And on the subject of Moslems, for years there was a restaurant near Columbus Circle in New York that advertised "Shish kebab fit for Allah." I could never pass this without wondering how a Moslem felt seeing that sign - perhaps how a Christian would feel if he saw a sign in, say, Damascus, saying "Hamburgers fit for Jesus Christ." Sun Nov 04 19:34:18 -0800 2007 3089105 54222 ekammin 3 3144497 I know of a Halal soul food restaurant in Harlem called "Mookie's No Pork On My Fork" awesome. Tue Nov 20 22:13:52 -0800 2007 3094999 87701 Lemon Curry 4 4800879 On a bumper sticker on 6th street in the east village of NYC. I love Allah...with ch added in front of Allah. Wed Jun 24 02:35:06 -0700 2009 3144497 28638 phantomdoc 1 3139110 "Oh, domesticity! The wonder of dinner plates and cream pitchers. You know your friends by their ornaments. You want everything. If Mrs. A. has her mama's old jelly mold, you want one too, and everything else that goes with it -- the family, the tradition, the years of having jelly molded in it. We domestic sensualists live in a state of longing, no matter how comfortable our own places are. a passage from Jane Austin's " The Lone Pilgrim" is so much my favorite and describes the way I feel about my kitchen and things to the T. and "When the talk turns to eating, a subject of the greatest importance, only fools and sick men don't give it the attention it deserves." - Laura Esquivel Mon Nov 19 11:40:21 -0800 2007 2332946 50431 chef chicklet 1 3166589 "to be enbalmed without being fed, makes a man feel distinctly dead"- Martial I once absent-mindedly ordered three mile Island dressing in a restaurant and with great presence of mind, they brought thousand Island dressing and a bottle of chili sauce"- Terry Pratchett I threw a dinner party for twelve and made gazpacho and risotto and tacos and osso buco and a gateau of jell-o with marshmallows and served it with a Barolo- Garrison Keeler I once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die: He told me my vinaigrette needed more vinegar. He was wrong about that. Dead wrong.- Garrison Keeler Great restaurants are nothing more than mouth-brothels. There is no point in going to them if one intends to keep one's belt buckled.- Frederick Raphael Heaven sends us good meat, but the devil sends us cooks.- David Garrick Red meat isn't bad for you. Blue green meat- now THAT is bad for you!- Tommy Smothers I went to a buffet shaped like an Ouija board- youthought about the food you wanted and the food came to you- Stephen Wright My mom made two dishes: Take it or Leave it.- Stephen Wright Thu Nov 29 17:27:12 -0800 2007 2332946 39914 lunchbox 2 3168057 In a review of the book SERVICE INCLUDED in The New York Times Book Review (18 Nov.), Sean Wilsey wrote: Refinement is a form of corruption. Sharpening the palate may well correspond to deeper deadening. Human organs of sense experience, cut free from anything but their own pleasure, catered to so scrupulously--how can it end in anything other than a spoiled, infantilized, ever-more-demanding state? Fri Nov 30 09:34:08 -0800 2007 3166589 114020 Barry Foy 1 3178890 "I was at a restaurant and I ordered a chicken sandwich, but I don't think the waitress heard me because she asked, 'How would you like your eggs?' So I tried to answer her anyway. I said, 'Incubated... And then raised. And then beheaded. And then plucked. And then cut up. And then put on a grill. And then put on a bun.... Damn, that's going to take a while. I don't have time.... Scrambled!'" - Mitch Hedberg It's better seen and heard rather than read. It's at the end of this short video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5V9SHdNnb6c Tue Dec 04 11:45:39 -0800 2007 2332946 70358 north2south 2 3178994 Another Hedberg gem: "Pepperidge Farm bread... That's fancy bread. You can tell it's fancy because it's wrapped twice. You open it, and it still isn't open. That's why I don't buy it. I don't need another step between me and toast." Tue Dec 04 12:16:25 -0800 2007 3178890 70358 north2south 1 3180886 "Pork-the other white meat" or Ezekiel 4:12, 15 And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man. snicker snicker Wed Dec 05 04:41:30 -0800 2007 2332946 139265 Cookiepants 1 3538872 A moment on the lips.....forever on the hips! Gotta love mothers! Fri Mar 28 17:07:59 -0700 2008 2332946 18808 Kam7185 1 3540598 The late, great Sam Kinison on solving world hunger: "See this? This is sand. Nothing grows in sand. You live in the desert. MOVE TO THE FOOD!!" Sat Mar 29 11:06:36 -0700 2008 2332946 24421 Panini Guy 1 3540824 From the Addams Family movie, regarding lemonade: Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons? Wednesday: Yes. Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons? Pugsley: Yes. Girl Scout: Well, I'll tell you what. I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal? Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts? Sat Mar 29 12:42:03 -0700 2008 2332946 156660 guate 1 3541500 At a large banquet with my extended family, after many courses, my skinny cousin said, I'm full. My fat cousin replied, that's no reason to stop. Sat Mar 29 17:08:22 -0700 2008 2332946 151146 Vee7 1 3545478 Don't forget the ever-acerbic Fran Lebowitz: "Food is an important part of a balanced diet." "If you're going to America, bring your own food." "Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat." "Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have ever been happy to see soybeans." “People have been cooking and eating for thousands of years, so if you are the very first to have thought of adding fresh lime juice to scalloped potatoes try to understand that there must be a reason for this.” “Civilised adults do not take apple juice with dinner.” “Cold soup is a very tricky thing and it is the rare hostess who can carry it off. More often than not the dinner guest is left with the impression that had he only come a little earlier he could have gotten it while it was still hot.” Mon Mar 31 09:00:52 -0700 2008 2332946 14386 BobB 1 3561105 "I went to the hospital for a blood transfusion and they gave me a wine list." -- Dean Martin Fri Apr 04 09:09:52 -0700 2008 2332946 13609 Scagnetti 1 3561674 "Times fun when your having flies" Kermit the Frog Fri Apr 04 11:16:54 -0700 2008 2332946 25629 lidiab 1 3561892 "if this is food, what have we been eating?" Hank Hill in the Food CoOp episode of King of the Hill. Fri Apr 04 12:02:21 -0700 2008 2332946 10784 Scrapironchef 2 4642430 On dumplings (the western kind not the asian kind) "a good dumpling is the mark of a good cook. You'll appreciate this fact if you've ever had one by a bad cook" Terry Prachett (via Nanny Ogg) Thu Apr 30 10:00:45 -0700 2009 3561892 24492 jumpingmonk 1 4643322 Seeing as this post has been brought back, I offer this from James Barber the Urban Peasant. "Cooking is like sex. You do the best you can with what you have" Thu Apr 30 14:18:36 -0700 2009 2332946 251167 billieboy 2 4645709 On another facet of the same topic, "Making love to her was like eating a peach with no pit." which as I recall is from Toby Olson's novel "Utah", a wonderful book in general. Fri May 01 10:28:03 -0700 2009 4643322 13709 buttertart 1 4644370 "Life's short. Eat dessert first." Thu Apr 30 20:46:55 -0700 2009 2332946 226942 al b. darned 1 4644663 It's always fun seeing an old topic get dusted off... "The body is like a finely tuned machine: If you don't put in enough oil, it breaks down." --Julia Child Fri May 01 02:48:32 -0700 2009 2332946 10996 JK Grence the Cosmic Jester 1 4645231 I don't know how he has been missed this whole thread, but how about Fernand Point quotes? "Before judging a thin man, one must get some information. Perhaps he was once fat." "I like to start off my day with a glass of Champagne. I like to wind it up with Champagne, too. To be frank, I also like a glass or two in between." "Butter! Give me butter! Always butter!" Fri May 01 08:31:52 -0700 2009 2332946 235489 ktb615 1 4649525 I was so happy to see this thread still going strong! "Viva la Chow!", and let's keep 'em coming, you classy bunch of foodies, you! To help us along - I offer another bon mot from Mr. O'Rourke: "Wedding reception food, whether served at table or presented at a buffet, should be stuff that's easy to throw up." ;-) Sun May 03 01:31:15 -0700 2009 2332946 75879 Pigeage 2 4723303 Not exactly a quotation, but my favourite recipe from Mr. O'Rourke (from "Modern Manners" or "The Bachelor's Home Companion" not sure which): A party food to be served at someone else's party: "Soup Nagasaki: Preheat oven to 500 degrees. Put one unopened tin of Campbell's soup in the oven. Leave. 30 minutes later - Soup Nagasaki!" Thu May 28 16:29:01 -0700 2009 4649525 48210 KevinB 3 4736625 Oh, that's right up there with the roast chicken recipe I'd learned some years ago... Get a chicken, Stove Top stuffing mix, and 1 cup of unpopped popcorn. Prepare the stuffing mix by the package directions, adding the popcorn. Stuff the bird as usual. Roast the bird in a V-rack at 350 degrees. When the bird's ass blows off in about an hour, the fragments will be tender and juicy. Tue Jun 02 13:41:39 -0700 2009 4723303 10996 JK Grence the Cosmic Jester 1 4649795 To paraphrase from A Year In Provence: The English love words, the French love food. The French have a hundred cheeses and argue about which one is best. The English have one cheese and argue about which fork to eat it with. Sun May 03 07:26:45 -0700 2009 2332946 50613 weezycom 1 4650537 Everyone needs something to believe in. I believe I'll have another cookie. Sun May 03 13:42:12 -0700 2009 2332946 64130 harrisea 1 4713856 "Desserts are like mistresses. They are bad for you. So if you are having one, you might as well have two." - Alain Ducasse Favorite quote EVER. Mon May 25 17:21:14 -0700 2009 2332946 212885 AngelSanctuary 2 4717818 Yes, well - he would know. ;-) Wed May 27 03:18:12 -0700 2009 4713856 75879 Pigeage 3 4717836 um, is that one of them pictured in your avatar? Wed May 27 03:35:43 -0700 2009 4717818 105717 alkapal 1 4715080 "The proper union of gin and vermouth is a great and sudden glory; it is one of the happiest marriages on earth, and one of the shortest lived" Bernard Devoto Tue May 26 08:07:46 -0700 2009 2332946 286766 BeefeaterGin 1 4717837 "Some of our best meals are memories!" kattyeyes (fellow chowhound) May 19, 2009 10:14PM Wed May 27 03:38:28 -0700 2009 2332946 105717 alkapal 1 4722338 "You gotta kill it before you can grill it!" "Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians - except for the occasional mountain lion steak." Uncle Ted (Nugent) Thu May 28 11:26:54 -0700 2009 2332946 237148 bermudagourmetgoddess 2 4722751 "The cuter the critter, the sweeter the meat." Also Uncle Ted. DT Thu May 28 13:23:30 -0700 2009 4722338 11291 Davwud 1 4723317 "The old carabao likes the young grass!" - A Filipino saying that is not really talking about food Thu May 28 16:36:57 -0700 2009 2332946 36661 Sam Fujisaka 1 4723565 "Time is an illusion; Lunchtime doubly so." - Douglas Adams "Unless life also hands you water and sugar, your lemonade's gonna suck!" - Unknown "I believe there's room for all of Nature's creatures: right next to the gravy and mashed potatoes." - bumper sticker Thu May 28 18:08:55 -0700 2009 2332946 95137 mcsheridan 2 4724259 >>>>"Unless life also hands you water and sugar, your lemonade's gonna suck!" - Unknown<<<< i love that one! Fri May 29 03:29:02 -0700 2009 4723565 105717 alkapal 1 4723597 From Zagat "Outtakes" 1. If I want to be ignored, I can stay home with my family. 2. Anorexic portions at obese prices. 3. Only the flies on our table enjoyed the meal. 4. Take a look at the staff on the way in – that’s the last you’ll see of them. 5. Suffers from delusions of adequacy. Thu May 28 18:18:12 -0700 2009 2332946 32941 Rmis32 1 4724227 "Lobster the other white meat", The Maine Lobster Council "You won't get drunk on another man's vodka" My grandfather "The church is near, but the road is icy, the tavern is far, but I'll walk carefully." Grandfather in translation. "Chicken today, feathers tomorrow" on the kitchen wall of my childhood home. "Drinking lite beer is like making love w/ ones clothing on. What's the point?" Passadumkeg "Life's too short to drink cheap beer" Wartstiener ad "In heaven ther is no beer That's why we drink it here..." Polka tune "Red Neck White Socks and Blue Ribbon Beer" C&W song Fri May 29 02:06:46 -0700 2009 2332946 93538 Passadumkeg 2 4724366 "The church is near, but the road is icy, the tavern is far, but I'll walk carefully." Grandfather in translation. I've read that proverb before, it was in Spider Robinson's "Off the Wall at Callahan's" Now at least I know he wasnt making it up! I used this one once when arguing that steps needed to be taken to prevent some remote possibility (I forgot what the remote possiblity was) "It's a bit like biting into a mature bannana seed in a supermarket banana; while extremely unlikey, it is theoretically possible, and if it does happen you are going to be in far too much pain to appreciate how rare the occurence is." Fri May 29 05:13:50 -0700 2009 4724227 24492 jumpingmonk 1 4724356 "There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook & won't, that's a wife who can't cook & will." ~ Robert Frost Fri May 29 05:07:05 -0700 2009 2332946 76846 Yesenia 1 4731308 Waitress said to me, "The steak is not tough, you are cutting it wrong". Sun May 31 19:54:25 -0700 2009 2332946 137946 Scargod 2 4731633 destined to become a classic! {;^D. Mon Jun 01 01:32:29 -0700 2009 4731308 105717 alkapal 2 4732237 Can't believe she said that when you had a pointy sharp knife in your hand. ;-) Mon Jun 01 08:33:42 -0700 2009 4731308 10532 LindaWhit 3 4732292 Conversely LW, maybe the blade was dull. :-D Harp Mon Jun 01 08:51:43 -0700 2009 4732237 45436 Harp00n 3 4734905 I was young, perhaps just 20. At the time, I hadn't had many steaks. The waitress, twice my age, intimidated me and I struggled through it. I can't remember the knife, but it's likely it was pointed, unlike the huge, rounded-tipped knives of today. Jim Bowie would roll over in his grave if he could see the restaurant conversion of his knife into a emasculated, serrated steak knife... Tue Jun 02 05:00:42 -0700 2009 4732237 137946 Scargod 4 4735170 Cougar intimidation. Got it. ;-) And I *hate* those massive steak knives you sometimes get with your steak now - especially serrated ones that shred the steak instead of cutting it properly. Tue Jun 02 06:58:58 -0700 2009 4734905 10532 LindaWhit 5 4735379 When I was 20 I didn't know what "Cougar" meant and barely knew the pleasure of a woman, old or young. I just had to go look Cougar up! I was in the liquor store yesterday when a much younger woman engaged me and was oohing and awing over my big selection of wines. I could hardly disengage. What do you call that? I'm naive (Evian backwards)... does she have a cat name? Tue Jun 02 08:08:02 -0700 2009 4735170 137946 Scargod 6 4735428 LOL! I don't think "cougar" came into existence until fairly recently...but I could be mistaken. As for the young lady in the liquor store? No cat name. Just a gold digger. (Your "big selection of wines"????? LOL!!) Tue Jun 02 08:22:27 -0700 2009 4735379 10532 LindaWhit 1 4731728 "I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance." “I didn't work my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables.” sign in restaurant: “Special Today - No Ice Cream” English sign in German café: “Mothers - please wash your Hans before eating.” “The quality of food in a restaurant is inversely proportional to the number of signed celebrity photographs on the walls.” “Practice safe eating - always use condiments.” “Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby's to work for McDonald's.” sign in restaurant: “Our tongue sandwiches speak for themselves.” ~~~~~ all from joe-ks.com Mon Jun 01 04:51:45 -0700 2009 2332946 105717 alkapal 2 4732298 I love the first one from Steven Wright. :-) Some more: HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig. (Anonymous) When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper. - Andy Rooney I don't like gourmet cooking or "this" cooking or "that" cooking. I like good cooking. - James Beard Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward. - George Carlin Mon Jun 01 08:54:11 -0700 2009 4731728 10532 LindaWhit 3 4734730 Lol I've been drinking Evian for years before someone made a comment about the water being naive and then I was like OH MY GOD!! But seriously, I can TASTE a difference and I can't drink water if it's not from Evian. Mon Jun 01 23:45:27 -0700 2009 4732298 212885 AngelSanctuary 4 4736641 Someone once pointed out to me the flavor profile of Evian... rocks. Angel, if you get into wine, go straight for Sauvignon Blanc, you'll love 'em! A really good one is like getting smacked in the face with a piece of wet slate. In a good way. Tue Jun 02 13:44:55 -0700 2009 4734730 10996 JK Grence the Cosmic Jester 5 4736721 "like getting smacked in the face with a piece of wet slate" Soaked in grapefruit juice? I think you've been drinking those French ones with too much "terroir"! To me, all the New Zealand ones, and many from elsewhere, have a predominantly citrus note. Tue Jun 02 14:02:11 -0700 2009 4736641 137946 Scargod 6 4737471 I miss secondary malolactic fermentation, AKA "buttery" - Murphy Goode chardonnay (yes, chardonnay!!) is a good one of those. Tue Jun 02 18:45:33 -0700 2009 4736721 40486 Cinnamon 1 4734123 Are you gonna eat your fat? - Spaulding Smails Mon Jun 01 18:29:18 -0700 2009 2332946 10814 sbp 1 4735411 Sunday brunch is God's way of forgiving you for Saturday night. Tue Jun 02 08:16:17 -0700 2009 2332946 11990 Janet from Richmond 1 4765281 Not a quote. Sorry, but do you remember the Twilight Zone with the visitors from outer space who had this book with them whose title was finally translated-too late, incidentally-to keep earthlings from lining up to go up to their planet on their spaceships? It translated as either "To Serve Man" or " To Serve People". It was a cookbook. Thu Jun 11 19:33:36 -0700 2009 2332946 12469 chaz 2 4765426 Or the Venus fly-trap like plant that demandingly said, "feed me"! Thu Jun 11 20:43:05 -0700 2009 4765281 137946 Scargod 3 4765992 Which featured in my nightmares for several years after (caught me at an impressionable age). Fri Jun 12 06:27:57 -0700 2009 4765426 13709 buttertart 2 4765753 Oh yeah, I remember that one! The title of the episode and the title of the cookbook were one and the same: To Serve Man "Mr. Chambers! Don't get on that ship! The rest of the book, "To Serve Man", it's...it's a cookbook!" Michael Chambers' last words on the subject: "How about you? You still on Earth, or on a ship with me? Well, it doesn't make very much difference because sooner or later, we'll all of us be on the menu. All of us." Fri Jun 12 04:08:15 -0700 2009 4765281 95137 mcsheridan 3 4765990 Bonus food reference, in the orginal short story, by Damon Knight, The Kanamit (the aliens) looked like pigs (not the big bulbous headed things in the Twilight Zone Episode) Oh and the plant is Audrey Jr. (if you mean the orginal black and white movie) or Audrey II (if you mean the musical/Rick Moranis Movie) Fri Jun 12 06:27:28 -0700 2009 4765753 24492 jumpingmonk 4 4772474 Oh now, that makes the story priceless. Instead of man eating bacon...bacon eats man! Sun Jun 14 16:32:40 -0700 2009 4765990 95137 mcsheridan 5 4772805 There actually another Sci-fi story I read, that brought that concept home even more (sorry I forgot the title). It was about a group of aliens who come to earth and reveal that they seeded our planet with primitive human beings, for food purposes. We have since evloved to the point where they wish to now engage with us as social nad tecnological equals and provide us with all the benefits thier society has, in part as an apology and a seeking of forgivness for making cattle of our ancestors. However no matter what they do humanity never accepts them (there's even a Church of Darwin, to refute the aliens claim as blaspemy) finally the aliens give up saying as they leave that it is obvios that we will never understand what they have gone through until we have experianced it for ourles at the end of the story the narrator (who own a farm) walks into his farmous to find one of his pigs standing in his livingroom looking at his newspaper the pig then turns to him and says (in the last lines of the story) ""Seems like pork futures are up." And they were." Sun Jun 14 19:06:51 -0700 2009 4772474 24492 jumpingmonk 6 4793100 UPDATE: I found the story again it's "A Matter of Taste" by Esther M. Friesner. Sun Jun 21 17:38:19 -0700 2009 4772805 24492 jumpingmonk 7 4794238 Oh and minor edit it utrsn out the lastin line was "so they were" not "and they were". sorry about that Mon Jun 22 06:51:14 -0700 2009 4793100 24492 jumpingmonk 1 4765296 "Mel, kiss mah grits! It's not elegant or enlightening, but it sure does bring back memories. Thu Jun 11 19:40:57 -0700 2009 2332946 186923 Cachetes 1 4766210 Norman Mailer in his run for th mayor of NYC in the 60's, not only wanted NYC to secede and become the 51st state ( for every federal tax dollar NYC generated it only got back $.42) but referred to the media ( I think it was the media, I only remember the quotation.) as "a bouillaibaisse of bourgois bullshit". What alliteration. What imagery. I love it. Fri Jun 12 07:25:59 -0700 2009 2332946 93538 Passadumkeg 1 4769482 Love this thread! Laughing my butt off this morning. Referring to salad: "That's not food! That's what food EATS!" Don't remember where that came from, but I've always liked it (and I do like salad) AzD Sat Jun 13 09:13:57 -0700 2009 2332946 180790 ArizonaDave 2 4772598 It's been traced to Aussie comic Mikey Robins, but it's So reminiscent of John Pinette's sald riff: "Salad's not food; salad comes WITH the food. Salad is a promissory note that food will soon arrive. If my brain sees a salad it says, something good is gonna happen soon; wait right here." Sun Jun 14 17:33:16 -0700 2009 4769482 95137 mcsheridan 2 4800894 Referring to sushi, Let's go eat some bait. Wed Jun 24 02:50:28 -0700 2009 4769482 28638 phantomdoc 1 4780362 I'm so hungry I could eat a horse. A saying in my family. Not so funny in some non-English speaking countries. Wed Jun 17 04:34:06 -0700 2009 2332946 137946 Scargod 2 4780365 <translated from the french, with feeling> "oh mom, not horse, agaaaaaaiiiiin?!" Wed Jun 17 04:38:28 -0700 2009 4780362 105717 alkapal 2 4782929 Isn't that a universal American saying? Wed Jun 17 18:28:33 -0700 2009 4780362 36661 Sam Fujisaka 3 4782947 I suppose... We also used to say, "I'll wait on you like one pig waits on another!" Wed Jun 17 18:36:48 -0700 2009 4782929 137946 Scargod 4 4783785 Finally someone else who knows that expression. I had only ever heard it in my family, from my Dad, fount of WWII lingo and stock replies to many questions, not all printable, which are now known fondly as "Alphorisms" (his name was Alf). Thought perhaps it was a regional expression (Im from southwestern Ontario), come to think of it it might be of mess hall origin. Thu Jun 18 06:18:15 -0700 2009 4782947 13709 buttertart 5 4783857 oh, that expression i knew in my southern upbringing, too. Thu Jun 18 06:54:10 -0700 2009 4783785 105717 alkapal 1 4781521 My four favorites are: Bottled v Tap -- Besides, I'm blessed with a palate that can barely distinguish between tap water and bottled. -- evergene, ba.food, 4/1/09 Life's Journey -- "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely, in an attractive and well-preserved body. Rather one should skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out while screaming 'WOO HOO! What a ride!'" -- Anonymous Decaf --- "We're decaf drinkers, and most restaurant decaf is like hot water with a brown crayon dipped in it. This coffee was no different." Tim Dietz, sdnet.eats, 1140, 6/3/03 Grits --- "Grits are akin to Elmer's Paste with less flavor and more sand." Wed Jun 17 11:10:38 -0700 2009 2332946 11175 The Ranger 2 4782924 OK with everything but the grits reference. NOT like sand at all! Doctor it up and you mask the glue part. If done properly (with best ingredients), it does not resemble glue and should be treated with respect like good rice. Wed Jun 17 18:26:00 -0700 2009 4781521 137946 Scargod 3 4784543 Grits are an atrocity committed by Rebs against Yankees. The Yankee "retaliation" is Malto-Meal. :) Thu Jun 18 10:01:12 -0700 2009 4782924 11175 The Ranger 4 4785533 Waaahhh! ;<,( I like both! Thu Jun 18 14:44:38 -0700 2009 4784543 137946 Scargod 2 4811172 Re: bad coffee, Ani DiFranco had a line I always liked: "The coffee was just water dressed in brown." Sat Jun 27 13:00:33 -0700 2009 4781521 25664 meg944 3 4811491 This coffee tastes like mud. Well it was fresh ground this morning. Sat Jun 27 15:44:41 -0700 2009 4811172 28638 phantomdoc 4 4817210 <ark ark ark!!> Tue Jun 30 03:57:06 -0700 2009 4811491 105717 alkapal 1 4781745 Not exactly food quotes but related... "Beware of meat twice boiled, and an old foe reconciled." Benjamin Franklin "The kiss originated when the first male reptile licked the first female reptile, implying in a subtle, complimentary way that she was as succulent as the small reptile he had for dinner the night before." F. Scott Fitzgerald "If I were reincarnated, I’d want to come back a buzzard. Nothing hates him or envies him or wants him or needs him. He is never bothered or in danger, and he can eat anything." William Faulkner Wed Jun 17 12:18:16 -0700 2009 2332946 88544 Ima Wurdibitsch 1 4783590 "Never met a beer I didn't like." Will Rogers? "Drinking lite beer is like making love w/ your clothes on. What's the point?" Dumb Keg Thu Jun 18 02:31:54 -0700 2009 2332946 93538 Passadumkeg 2 4794868 Or my grandfather's: "There's no bad beer, just some beer tastes better than others." Mon Jun 22 10:09:47 -0700 2009 4783590 13709 buttertart 3 4796248 "In Heaven there is no beer, That's why we drink it here And when we're gone from here Our friends will be drinking all the beer! More beer!" Polish polka Red Neck, White Socks and Blue Ribbon Beer old C&W song I like Beer by Tom T. Hall Mon Jun 22 16:47:57 -0700 2009 4794868 93538 Passadumkeg 4 4796278 For you, buddy, a haiku-esque limerick Kim chee and beer Kalbi on the sear Hang with my son Again as one Family so dear Mon Jun 22 17:01:59 -0700 2009 4796248 36661 Sam Fujisaka 5 4796843 Thanks! The Dumkegs that drink so ju together Can become quite ju-ish With out worrying about Being kosher! Mon Jun 22 21:22:25 -0700 2009 4796278 93538 Passadumkeg 6 4797256 What're we doing limericking here rather than on the limerick thread? Tue Jun 23 04:43:28 -0700 2009 4796843 36661 Sam Fujisaka 7 4797293 two reasons: 1. beer 2. so ju .... (or the alternative explanation: you think you have the "best, funniest, wittiest" quotes). Tue Jun 23 05:07:09 -0700 2009 4797256 105717 alkapal 8 4861784 The limerick thread is great! Also check out the one I started for putting food lyrics to favorite tunes - http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/635869 Some truly great, funny stuff there, too. Wed Jul 15 14:05:39 -0700 2009 4797293 97804 cmvan 4 4800295 You two should have some Colorado Kool-Aid, courtesy of Johnny Paycheck--Poppy had the cassette back in the 70s: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fof0FeJgjnY This is still funny--I hadn't heard it in years! "Ain't that right, big man?" Tue Jun 23 20:18:18 -0700 2009 4796248 249664 kattyeyes 5 4800836 Hey Connecticut Cow Girl, pick up trucks are also called Cowboy Cadillacs. Here are 2 of my faves: Red Necks White Socks and Blue Ribbon Beer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpiYgFi42PM Pop a Top Again http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWWKt8bbSHI And oh yes! Tom T Hall, I Like Beer! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8i5k4I1AOEI On the other hand we have just returned from hiking to a mountain top buddist temple and drinking tea w/ a wonderful monk. Wed Jun 24 01:25:02 -0700 2009 4800295 93538 Passadumkeg 6 4801191 Game on, so ju soldier--lots of fun drinking songs: If you drink, don't drive, do the "Watermelon Crawl" (Tracy Byrd): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qG76egCZXfo "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" (George Thorogood): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISmgOrhELXs Then again, if you don't have a designated driver, you might as well go for a soda (Kim Mitchell): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QylncpJy5Rc&feature=related Going for tea with a monk on a mountaintop is even better! Wed Jun 24 06:20:21 -0700 2009 4800836 249664 kattyeyes 1 4795019 after finding hilda had marked his gin bottle, rumpole exclaims, "an englishman's gin bottle is his castle!" -- Rumpole and the Married Lady Mon Jun 22 10:52:57 -0700 2009 2332946 105717 alkapal 1 4796493 An old Mad Magazine cartoon strip: A New York City street scene. Every place on the block is a pizza parlor with a sign. The first has a sign proclaiming "Best Pizza on the East Side!" The second says "Best Pizza in the City!" The third says "Best Pizza in the World!" The last one says "Best Pizza on the Block." Mon Jun 22 18:24:56 -0700 2009 2332946 10156 Steve 1 4826246 maybe this has been mentioned already: "How can anyone govern a nation that has two hundred and forty-six different kinds of cheese?" Charles De Gaulle Thu Jul 02 19:38:23 -0700 2009 2332946 105717 alkapal 1 4841580 "I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" Wed Jul 08 18:38:51 -0700 2009 2332946 161523 rcspott 2 4843304 Which reminds me of a toast I learned from a Englishman many years ago: "Champagne for my real friends, and real pain for my sham friends." Thu Jul 09 10:14:00 -0700 2009 4841580 14386 BobB 1 4852267 "if God had intended the eating of sushi he would not have created fire" not sure of the source Sun Jul 12 19:09:34 -0700 2009 2332946 174574 thos 2 4855862 Ugh, I hate that quote, about as witty as, "Haw haw haw! Sushi ain't food fer people, it's bait!" Plus it ignores hundreds if not thousands of years of fish preparation by humans without the use of fire: drying, citrus marinating, salt curing. http://mcslimjb.blogspot.com/ Mon Jul 13 20:15:57 -0700 2009 4852267 10143 MC Slim JB 1 5018466 And malt does more than Milton can To justify God's ways to man. A.E. Housman Thu Sep 10 00:41:51 -0700 2009 2332946 92059 pinpei 1 5018572 Recipe for Hungarian Chicken Paprikas: First steal a chicken..... Thu Sep 10 04:45:37 -0700 2009 2332946 155855 MARISKANY 1 5058895 Recipe for German chocolate cake. Start with two Germans. Vegetarian chopped liver..Take the livers of two vegetarians. A hoooker says to Jackie Mason..Are you ready for Super Sex? Ill have the soup. Customer asks waitress..Do you serve crabs? Waitress says Sit down we serve anyone. Fri Sep 25 16:07:25 -0700 2009 2332946 28638 phantomdoc 1 5084957 Seen on a t-shirt in a store in New Orleans this past weekend: Spooning leads to forking. Wed Oct 07 06:28:25 -0700 2009 2332946 119389 lillidalla 1 5084998 "You Can't Be a Revolutionary if You Don't Eat Chilies." Chairman Mao "The Cantonese wll eat anything with wings except a plane and anything with four legs except a stool." A Chinese saying "The things I do for England." Prince Charles on sampling snake meat (in Australia?) Wed Oct 07 06:42:03 -0700 2009 2332946 1106797 Parigi 2 5090604 Here's one from alt.food.barbeque, "Our butcher was so good at reducing waste from animals, the only thing he couldn't recycle was the squeal from a pig and the moo from cows." Fri Oct 09 06:42:29 -0700 2009 5084998 11175 The Ranger 1 5111279 "She sits among the cabbages and peas" A lovely English Music-Hall song. Sat Oct 17 18:41:54 -0700 2009 2332946 50913 syberyenta