DIET Coke for One; Water for All

[jfood]

I am not a drinker of liquor or soda and sometimes order sparkling water at dinner. The normal scenario is “My wife will have a diet coke and I’ll have a sparkling water.” Drives the heck out of me to pay $7-10 for a bottle of water, but the resto is a business.

Mrs Jfood receives a nice glass of diet coke and the waiter, most times without asking, brings a large bottle of sparkling water and then starts filling everyone’s glass at the table. Why is he so presumptuous as to take my ordered beverage, super-size it (I did not order a bottle) and then disperse amongst everyone at the table? He did not bring a bottle of diet coke and give everyone a glass.

Yes there are infrequent times when the waiter has the common courtesy to ask if everyone would like, but most times he just starts pouring.

How should this be handled?

Should I just say at the start, “I just want a glass of sparkling water and not a bottle” or when he brings a bottle should I then state, “excuse me but I just wanted a glass, not a bottle.” If they do not have small bottles, then I can ask for the same soda water they place in a scotch and soda.

[Das Ubergeek]

Ah, for a French restaurant in which I can say "un pichet d'eau svp"... because that's the PERFECT amount of water for a meal.

[Kbee]

Let me start by saying that at our resto, forcing bottled water on our guests is a definite no-no. Our owner, as well as the staff, see this as obnoxious -- more money or not. Now, in my experience *most* of the time sparking (or still) water is ordered, it is ordered for the table, and it's usually obvious. If it's not, I will ask "shall I bring x number of glasses?" and they will either say yes, or no, just one please. Also, I will tell the person ordering that we only have large bottles (not much demand for the small for some reason) and if that is okay. If not, I will offer a glass of soda water. Does all this seem reasonable? Don't want to annoy anyone...

As long as we're on the subject, a question for you bottled water drinkers: If you are nearing the end of your meal and your bottled water is gone or almost gone, would you like me to just bring you a glass of tap water, or ask if you'd like something else? I hate to see thirsty looking people. (oh, and if you run out mid-meal, of course I'll ASK if you'd like another bottle)

[ElsieDee]

Cheers to your restaurant, Kbee!

And your approach makes sense to me - always best to ask and not to assume. As far as being at the end of the meal and the bottle being empty - I'd appreciate being asked if I'd like another bottle (even if only large are avaialble) or if I'd like tap or soda water or something else.

[orangewasabi]

"If you are nearing the end of your meal and your bottled water is gone or almost gone, would you like me to just bring you a glass of tap water"

yes please! it's always awesome when that happens. A glass of tap water never goes amiss! (bring over the tap water AND asking, "did you want another bottle" is okay too).

If you're a server, I bet your tips are great!

[jfood]

Kbee,

Big wet swack. You are the server that i have been looking for.

There is not one item that your post states that is under an A+.

You are the waitress from heaven.

Thank you so much

Other servers...the bar has been set

[babette feasts]

Funny. Servers often look at me funny when I order a liter of Pellegrino when I'm out by myself, as if I can't possibly know how much water that is or finish it, both of which I do.

[Kajikit]

Some waitstaff need to learn the difference between 'I' and 'WE' - 'I'll have a soda' means bring me one glass thank you... 'WE'LL' have soda means bring some for the table to share (at least in my vocabulary!)

[jfood]

Well put K

I used to say "My wife will have a diet coke and i'll have a sparkling water."

New and improved version:

"My wife will have a diet coke and i'll have a glass of sparkling water." I'll try that before trying the glass of soda water, and see if I can get a little bottle of SanP.

[Pincho]

Not meant to be snarky - if your goal is to get a "little bottle of SanP" why not simply ask for that directly? I'm not sure I follow the reason for the planning/strategizing, when you can just give the server a little more information if you're concerned you won't receive what you really want.

[jfood]

Not taken as snarky at all Pincho.

My goal is to get a glass of water in the same manner as people ordering soda. You are absolutely right that more information is always better.

But let me ask when was the last time that you ordered a diet coke, or coke, etc. and the waiter brought you a full bottle? When you order a vodka or scotch neat, does a fifth show up at the table? When you arrive at your table is a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue sitting there?

Water upselling is hUUUUUge at restos and has been the subject of many threads. It is also a fairly new concept. We are all learning the lingo from the custo side and the "tricks" restos are using to increase revenue per table. As someone who has used those words described above for 25 years, it is only in the past 5 that it has been an issue. So we try to learn how to modify our ordering, which this thread has been very helpful and hopefully some waiters are reading as well to see our angst in the "new" water ordering process.

[Nikki NYC]

YES! YES! YES!!!!!

[Nikki NYC]

Jfood, I TOTALLY know what you mean! It happens to me a lot. Last week, in fact, a friend invited a group out to celebrate her husband's birthday, and when I ordered "a" sparkling water the waiter brough out a huge bottle already uncapped. At least half the table had already placed their drink orders at this point so I think it was obvious that everyone was ordering for themselves. At the risk of getting a sneezer in my entree, I had him take it back because I was only ordering for myself and it was his fault for not asking if he was unsure. Plus, I wasn't the one paying for dinner, so how rude would it have been if I had ordered a huge bottle of water without asking if anyone else even wanted some?

[gridder]

This has happened to me many times -- I can see where it might be perceived as rude if you only carry sparkling water in large bottles to just set it down in front of one person, but my feeling is that it is simply upselling. They could choose to carry small bottles as well.

[Nikki NYC]

I agree with you, but I think there is some dishonesty involved at times. Because I think the waiters know you are only ordering for yourself, and they are banking on the fact that a lot of people are embarressed or don't care enough to send back the big bottle. For me, it is the dishonesty that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. (Sorry, couldn't resist the bad joke...)

[RShea78]

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Nikki, I think you nailed that one!

Some time back, a waiter pulled an intentional OJ up-sell by bringing out a carafe ($12.95) of OJ instead of the glass (included with meal) that I ordered. I had him go fetch the manager. Once the manager was at my table, the waiter looses his composure, and admits he was in the wrong. I wasn't planning on making a scene, but several other tables soon joined in with complaints.

As it turns out, the OJ up-sell thing was an employee incentive contest, that ended up in getting a fork in it.

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[RShea78]

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jfood, it appears that you seem to be ordering for the entire table (table leader), or at least that is the way it is coming across to the waiter. Perhaps you should lead the waiter to the next person, for example;

My wife prefers a DC, I wish for a GLASS (small serving or whatever) of SW, then turn to the next person for their preference... Or let your party make their drink order(s) before you...

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[jfood]

I believe the words "a glass" are the key.

thx

[luv2bake]

I used to order sparkling water and never had that experience. But it has been a few years. I ended up moving to club soda - the "business" issue you mentioned. I finally decided that all the stuff I order, they can get over my having a glass of water, which is what I really want.

That said, I always compensate the wait staff beyond the % of the ticket (whatever % I decide on based upon service) because they still have to refill my water, etc., just as if it were a charged drink.

[orangewasabi]

I hope the club soda thing works for you, jfood, I'll be quite surprised if it doesn't produce a single glass of fizzy water with no odd looks from the waitstaff.

Must admit though, we order water on the presumption that it is a 'family size' bottle. Quite opposite to you, I get rather annoyed if it turns out to be an individual serving. Maybe because my husband's nickname is "the camel" and I know we need it the large size if I am to get any,

[Katj]

When our group goes out we all order "regular water" but one person always orders the bottled water. She gets her water and we all get ours.

[alicat]

I've been a sparkling water drinker for years and I've never had a waitperson presume I wanted the large bottle for the table, ever. I'm usually asked if I want a large bottle or small bottle, at which point I decide (in case the husband wants some too, which he sometimes does) but it's never been assumed. If I'm told they only have large bottles I'll usually order it anyway, because I drink a lot, but it's never been shared around my table for me. Weird.

I hope your club soda experiment works, jfood!

[jfood]

We will test this theory this evening. I am treating good friends to dinner, they always order wine, Mrs Jfood will go with the Diet Coke and I'm ordering SODA WATER.

Will report back.

Thanks all.

[Karl S]

One better: ask for it with a twist. (I prefer orange, but only really good bars have orange...)

[JK Grence the Cosmic Jester]

I'd imagine with the popularity of Cosmopolitans that orange twists will be fairly common. At the very least, a good number of bars have orange slices for garnishing fruity drinks, and all you have to do to convert that to a twist is pull out the orange.

What most bars don't have that I'd like is twists that don't have the pith attached to them.

[Karl S]

If you failed to clarify as suggested by the above, you should stop him immediately to clarify before he pours. If you keep silent, you've consented.

[JudiAU]

Most restaurants don't sell sparking water but the bottle so if you want a glass you order a bottle. You might specify a small bottle; many restaurants have them.

If you order club soda instead you'll get a class from the bar tap or a small blottle. Try that instead.

[Bride of the Juggler]

I haven't had that problem when I order a 'club soda' instead of sparkling water. At worst, some places give you a tiny bottle of club sode instead of a glass of the club soda from the bar tap. Thank you.