related to waiting till everyone is served...

[nummanumma]

do you adjust your eating speed to your hosts'? I CANNOT stand scarfer-downers. Dawdlers are almost as bad...shouldn't you read the speed of the table? Am I just too anal?

[Karl S]

No polite guest may take notice of whether anyone else is eating too quickly or slowly (among many other things). But a polite guest may try to moderate his or her eating so that no other guest is left feeling at either extreme.

People who eat more slowly are often the talkers; people who eat more quickly are often the listeners. There can be glaring exceptions to that, of course.

Just be sure to rotate the conversation from side to side....

[Rick]

I'm almost always the first one done. Even at business dinners I'm the first one done and honestly never thought much about it. I like to eat fast because I HATE IT when my food gets lukewarm. I like my hot food hot!

[Janet from Richmond]

This is me. I'm trying to make an effort to eat more slowly (in an effort to lose 10 pounds) but I love food hot, not warm.

[amopdx]

I think people should eat at their own pace (i tend to be a bit slow) as long as they exercise good manners.

my boyfriend does drive me nuts though, he really does inhale his food - huge bites and barley chews. Once his meal is gone (If we don't have any extras/leftovers) he'll start going after my food. I have to eat faster around him if I want to avoid a squabble. Most of the time I will just cook extra so it's not such a problem.

(thankfully he can eat more polite if we are in certain public places or at one of my family's functions, even then he is still usually the first to clean his plate.)

[pikawicca]

Ever try skewering him with your fork?

[jillp]

I've tried spouse-skewering myself and the lesson never stays with him very long, darn it.

Having worked retail most of my life, I eat with embarrassing speed, since lunch breaks are usually quite brief. Even when I am involved in a dinner table conversation, I eat rapidly, whether I want to or not.

[amopdx]

funny! for some reason I don't think it would "stick" with my bf either

[wayne keyser]

I eat like I eat - For anyone who finishes after me, I expect to wait and keep up polite and polite conversation with them while they finish at their own pace - for anyone who finishes before me, I expect them to do likewise and enjoy being with me (or pretend to if they must).

[Lucia]

A little bit. I usually eat fast, but I have friends who are big talkers. If they're slow, I'll try to slow down so I'm not just sitting there watching them eat at the end of the meal.

[bonmann]

You probably wouldn't like eating with me either. I have a slightly narrow esophagus and as a result tend to chew my food more throughly than others to avoid choking. This tends to make me a slow eater. Sometimes if I look around the table and I am the only one still eating, I just stop so everyone can move on. But when dining in someone's home, leaving half my food on the plate implies I didn't like the meal, a signal I don't really want to send either.

What do you think, stop eating or make everyone else wait? Which is more polite?

[Glencora]

My inlaws are big eaters and always have seconds. I usually just nurse a glass of wine and enjoy the candlelight and conversation while they keep eating. It's fine.

[orangewasabi]

you'd hate me -- I scarf.

When I am working i.e. eating with clients I try to adjust my eating to their pace. But among friends and family, I eat the way I wish (well, except the first time I met my prospective MIL).

There's probably IS a plus/minus speed which etiquette would determine is ideal.

why does it stress you so?

[nummanumma]

just because:1) someone worked hard on the meal (someone who is at the table with you) and I guess I feel like taking a little time to enjoy it is merited, and 2) we're meant to be eating together- I feel so uncomfortable when my companion's plate is empty.

[orangewasabi]

I love seeing food I have made being scarfed down - that's the sign, to me, that the food is spot on. But I can totally see how others might feel I am not appreciating their efforts by scarfing -- I may have to rethink how I express my appreciation. The way to tell I am not enjoying the food, is if it's taking me a long time to eat it. If it's good, I want to 'get at it'.