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anti-valentine's day party menu

ok, so i want to throw an anti-valentine's day party. i have a few ideas... but i need help with the menu. here's what i've come up with so far...

- broken heart shaped cookies
- things on skewers
- lots of booze

the party will also include:
- twentysomethings dressed in black
- angsty movies: heathers, the opposite of sex
- awesome anti-love soundtrack

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  1. Types of people you've dated:

    Two-timers: Something double or twice... twice-baked potatoes?

    Back-stabbers: skewered, turned over, gingerbread men? Skewered chicken backs might not be too tasty, unless you leave a thigh or breast attached. Or make voodoo dolls out of gingerbread men with toothpicks through the hearts, or other pertinent parts.

    Jerked chicken.

    Nuts. As in psycho.

    Self-centered: Some sort of canape with something perfectly centered? Could be anything.

    Afraid of commitment chicken wings.

    Ho cakes! Heh.

    Fortune cookies with sayings that, when finished with "in bed", would be applicable to previous partners.

    If you wanted to be really mean, you could put pictures of former SOs with their namesake.

    2 Replies
    1. re: JGrey

      "Self-centered: Some sort of canape with something perfectly centered? Could be anything."

      Mushrooms stuffed with themselves, sometimes called "conceited mushrooms." lots of recipes around for these!

      1. re: JGrey

        very creative JGrey-happy VD Day

      2. I'm not sure why, but for some reason black pasta came to mind. You could have teeny little appetizer cups of squid ink pasta and top with some sort of bright red fresh tomato sauce. Could be cool.

        I think you need something fire-engine red too. I like to add some colour.

        1. Love the theme.

          I thinking hot things.

          Spicy Shrimp
          Oysters with your collection of hot sauces.

          1. things with *LOTS* of (raw)garlic?

            1. Any old supermarket hot dogs. They're LOADED with saltpeter.

              1. Campari, too--it's booze, it's bitter, and it's red.

                In the past, I actually attended one of these shindigs (my officemate threw the party and called it Blackhearts Day). There were a lot of anti-social menu items....olives stuffed with garlic and anchovy and bleu cheese (lots of garlic in general!). We had a plate of delightful stinky cheeses. We had a lot of bitter chocolate (darker the better) and red wine. Also, because of the tough shells, crab or lobster claws, and some bitey foods...I remember a "hot pepper app's" plate.

                1. Charbroiled chicken hearts on skewers, if you've got the stomach for it.

                  1 Reply
                  1. re: Pei

                    Get large packages of these at Chinese markets.

                    Goat cheese and sour cherry preserves go well together. Serve are sturdy crackers or breads. And speaking of which, cherry pie is the uber-traditional dish for Washington's Birthday; made of course from tart pie cherries.

                    And of course there is nothing like tamarind paste if you want a fully bitter experience....

                  2. Bitter, sour, black, and violent.

                    Skewered, grilled chicken hearts. Also artichoke hearts, hearts of palm.

                    Very dark bitter chocolate in various forms - cake, cookies, shooters of hot chocolate, etc. - cocoa nibs would be good here. Jagged shards of caramel sticking up out of chocolate cake.

                    Nettle pasta.

                    Puckery lemon-lime tartlets. Pomegranate, kumquat, and tamarind can be pretty sour too. Blackberries have thorns. Lemon tart with a ring of pastry barbed wire around the edge, piled with fresh blackberries.

                    Cocktails with grapefruit and campari or just lots of cocktail bitters, different ones. I like orange bitters.

                    1. how about sirloin with a lentil puree ;)

                      2 Replies
                      1. re: mark

                        And a chicken liver truffle to go with that! ;-)

                        1. How about a red velvet cake with dark chocolate frosting? You could bake it in a heart shaped pan and make it broken-hearted.

                          1. Any saltwater fish or creature, (teardrops!)
                            Blue Nun wine. "Virgin" Mary cocktails.
                            Any cake/dessert that claims to be "better than sex".
                            Single servings.

                            1 Reply
                            1. Lots of garlic is a good idea!

                                1. Genius idea! (Can I steal it?) Don't forget the soundtrack: Cake does an awesome cover of I Will Survive, just to start you off.

                                  1. I remember my college eating club doing a Valentine's Day Massacre party, with cupids hung from little nooses all over the dining room! All the food was red and black--red-leaf lettuce salad with heart-shaped beet cutouts; black fettucine with spicy shrimp and squid fra diablo sauce; a black chocolate cake with runny raspberry "broken heart" filling. And that "bull's blood" Hungarian red wine. I've also seen "broken heart pie" made with cranberries and sour cherries, topped with little pastry hearts with a jagged slash through them. So much more fun than the usual frothy v-day stuff! Isn't there some black vodka out there? Would be fun for cocktails. Enjoy! The Last Seduction is another good anti-vday movie!

                                    2 Replies
                                    1. re: dixieday2

                                      Along the same vein of cupids hanging from nooses, you could get a cupid pinata and beat the crap out of it! We did this at my best friend's baby shower with a stork pinata!

                                    2. You need some chocolate-chili ice cream.

                                      1. Don't forget the centerpiece - bouquets of longstemmed roses (the thorny kind) with the flowers carefully snipped off...

                                        1 Reply
                                        1. i like the lotsa garlic idea!!

                                          and for some reason all i could think of was frozen dinners.....

                                          1. We did an anti-valentine's day party a few years ago, and our cookies were the most successful part of the party -- we made heart-shaped cookies from sugar cookie dough we'd dyed various pastel shades, and then decorated them with messages a la the message hearts, only our messages were not very "nice" so to speak. It was a riot making them (I got a few friends together to come up with the messages and paint them on) and they were a big hit with the crowd.

                                            1. Then there are the anti-Valentine's heart candies available at despair.com ... it was so cute when the office cynic handed these out ;) http://www.despair.com/bittersweets.html

                                              1 Reply
                                              1. re: foiegras

                                                If you're doing email invitations--and you can keep it to 4-letter words--you can make it out of custom heart candies at http://www.acme.com/heartmaker/.

                                                1. A salad including chopped artichoke hearts and chopped or finely sliced hearts of palm on chopped hearts of romaine.... Broken hearts salad with somesort of heartbreak sauce... red wine vinegarette?

                                                  Seared raw ahi... raw emotions seared... and amp it with a spicy rub

                                                  Bleeding Heart Cupcakes http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/rec...

                                                  Ceviche w/ strong raw onions

                                                  Toasted bread slices with a roasted garlic paste/spread

                                                  Salt-encrusted whole fish... rubbing salt in a wound ...

                                                      1. To go alongside "Heathers," show "Harold & Maude." Great pairing. Also, "Gross Point Blank." What's better than assassination for V-Day?

                                                        Soundtrack: The Smiths.

                                                        Drink-wise, wire up the Halloween baby fountain into a vomiting Cupid fountain. Imagine Cupid hurling into the punchbowl.

                                                        Otherwise, simply make enjoyable food.

                                                        1. The Smiths! BRILLIANT! My officemate is doing an all-spicy theme. Shrimp fra diavolo, spicy cheeses, hot and spicy soups, jalapeno cornbread, Hot Damn! shots

                                                          1 Reply
                                                          1. re: thegolferbitch

                                                            I would like to suggest a little music by J Geils band.

                                                            Love Stinks

                                                            Must have got lost

                                                            Maybe something by the Smithereens...................

                                                            A salad of bitter greens (envy) would be a nice addition for vegetarians.

                                                          2. This is a frigin riot, I needed a good laugh. I just want to give you all a hug. My god this is funny. I can't add anything to this.

                                                            1. movie: The War of The Roses 1989 (Kathleen Turner, Michael Douglas & Danny DeVito)
                                                              single: Love Stinks (J. Geils Band)
                                                              menu: mini red velvet cupcakes with black gummy rats draped over frosting

                                                              1. anything that causes, gas, bloating, bad breath. Or embrace the inner single and have cosmos for the girls and messy wings and ribs for all

                                                                1 Reply
                                                                1. re: lyn

                                                                  on that note, you could poach recipes from the "secret single foods" thread - have a m-y-o cereal bar, mini hagen daaz tubs, etc.

                                                                2. Plenty of sour candies. Red velvet cake. And can we come to your party? :p