Christmas Dinner Nightmares!!
Ok, this should be good.
What have you been served at the Christmas/Hanukkah/festive table that made you cringe or just shake your head?? Time warp items? Ambitious failed attempts? Turducken fiascos? Give it to me!! Oh yeah!!
I was served mashed potatoes with no trace of butter, salt or dairy anything, bashed boiled turnips and pale, starchy, brussels sprouts. The turkey was very moist though. Good gravy too. Thank God my mom isn't computer literate, bless her "boil it till its mush" little heart.
The wife's family tradition - vaguely Hungarian passed through generations of worsening cooks:
Ham with "let's kill the diabetics" sugary "gravy"
Sauerkraut and (tinned button) mushroom glop moistened with some kind of canned soup
"Babaika balls" (fried fingernail-sized dumplings tossed with cottage cheese)
"Gotta make our Christmas rolls": leaden dough filled with canned fruit filling (not even the pie style, but the thickened-until-it's-a-starchy-paste style)
--Wolfed down and insistently shared with gusto by the blood relatives, picked at by us in-laws until we can adjourn to the local fast-mart for a nuked hotdog.
---Just kill me now, please.
My FIL over cooked a wild turkey one year.
As I understand it, wild turkey is like regular turkey, only drier. So over cooking it to the point of being dust was just disgusting.
This was years ago, but unforgettable...
We walk into Grandma and Grandpa's house. It smells delicious. Someone says "The turkey smells great!" and Grandma said "Oh, we aren't having turkey this year. We are having chicken."
Okay, a nice roast chicken. Fine.
Nope. Boiled. A platter was presented with a bony skeleton surrounded by shards of wet meat and that pot scum clinging to it all. Even Grandpa couldn't hide his dismay.
The accompaniment was some thick homemade noodles the texture of play-doh, served simply. By simply, I mean absolutely plain. They were un-choke-downable.
I remember being thankful for my glass of milk and my dinner roll, because that's what I had for that festive holiday meal.
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Steak and Kidney pie once. OMG. I JUST had a client order this from me. What did I do? I ordered one from an English tea house who makes them, cut it into quarters and kept it frozen. Lamb kidney no less. Sorry, don't even wanna learn how to make it.