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Dec 11, 2006 12:07 AM

Your most infamous kitchen misadventure

We talk a lot here about our misadventures in restaurants across the country-- what about in your own kitchen? 'Fess up.

Me? I tried to defrost butter in the microwave... with the foil wrapping paper still on. Oh the shame...

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  1. As an under-equipped and overly-ambitious young wife, I was melting parafin to seal some jams I had made for giftgiving. Ah, but no good equipment for parafin melting. I, the village idiot, swirled the chunks of parafin in an old mayo jar over the flame on my gas stove.

    Um. Jar broke. Melted parafin everwhere. You know those nice little jets on the burners? The electronic ignition on the burners? The look on the face of the young husband under-equipped to deal with the de-waxing-type repair?

    We did manage to clean the whole thing out (eventually), but with a cloud of blue language that hung over the house for days.

    Never made jam since. Am still under-equipped for that.

    1. I'm notorious for boil overs....usually because I'm doing too many things, in various rooms of the house all at once. You would think I'd learn to lower the burner, not leave the room...focus on one thing..but no, I'm the boil over queen.

      1. Years ago, I lived in a small 3rd floor apartment. I had made dinner for myself and my then gf. After dinner, I put the dishes in the sink and turned the water on to let the dishes soak. We then put sat on couch, propped our feet up and watched a movie. At the end of the movie, I put my foot down and realized the whole floor was soaked. I had let the water run for almost 2 hours!!

        That was most un-pleasant and I felt really bad for our downstairs neighbors.

        1. I was cooking at the house of a Martha Stewart type. She kept her diswasher soap in one of those squarish olive oil bottles, with a pour spout.

          You can see where this is going; marinade lamb chops in garlic, parsley and EVDAB (Extra Virgin Dawn "Apple Blossom" scent detergent), grill over open flames, enjoy.

          4 Replies
            1. re: bengoshi

              THAT is funny! And what was the reaction from the crowd?

              1. re: HaagenDazs

                Well, when I served up the lamb chops, there were a few puzzled expresions. The garlic was there, and that gamey lamb flavor, but then there were those bubbles!

                As I bit in to the lamb it suddenly struck me; most times, when you screw something up, somewhere, deep in your brain, your are already aware of exactly what you did wrong. My brain calculated it right away -- "Olive oil? No. Fancy schmancy dish detergent in an olive oil bottle!"

                Of course, to my guests, I blamed it all on the Martha Stewart who owned the house, making some lame excuse about how she must have allowed soap to remain on her grill, and it got on the lamb. But I knew better....

              2. re: bengoshi

                that is pretty great. i'm giggling as i type

              3. Ok we had made french frys many times but always shoestring. One day we go to make thick cut sweet potato fries. I put the usual amount of oil in the pan and bring to a boil. Dump the fries in and the oil goes up and over the pan. Then it catches fire. A colume of flame shoot up to the ceiling. YIKES. I was backed into a corner, thank god for my husband who had the where with all to reach in and turn the gas off.