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Revolting Fruitcake Recipe Request, with apolgies

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This will probably get me banned from Chowhound forever, and I'm not sure if this belongs under "Home Cooking" or "Not About Food"...

My otherwise delightfully chowish hubby adores those mini fruitcakes that are sometimes sold in hardware stores, gas stations, etc. The fruitcakes are dense, pale, and full of weirdly colored "fruit". Don't seem to have any molasses in them or much flour, they are rather gummy. They are about 2"x2"x6", wrapped in a waxed cardboard liner (or is that part of the cake?) and cellophane.

I have an excellent fruitcake recipe that I will be making for Christmas, but he has asked me if I couldn't make some of the "harware store fruitcake" for him, too. I don't suppose any chowhounds have ever eaten one of these, let alone developed a recipe to recreate in the privacy of their own homes?

I deeply regret having to bring this topic up, and want to personally apologize to every chowhound, regardless of their fruitcake tendencies. My husband is an excellent and worthy man, and otherwise very reasonable in his chow requests. Thanks for your assistance and understanding.

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  1. My MIL used to make these things -- sound like just what you want.

    Yule Log Rolls

    1 lb. Vanilla Wafers, crushed fine
    8 oz. candied pineapple, chopped
    4 oz. red candied cherries
    4 oz. green candied cherries
    2 c. whole pecans
    14 oz. sweetened condensed milk
    4 T. Bourbon
    powdered sugar

    Combine all ingredients except powdered sugar. Form into three logs and roll in the confectioners sugar. Wrap in plastic wrap and store in the refrigerator three weeks. Slice to serve.

    1. Hmmm ... I have a fondness for trashy fruitcake ... slices yes ... anything sold in a tin at a drugstore ... probably not.

      Anyway, I thought I knew what you were talking about, but saying there isn't much flour is giving me pause.

      Are we talking something like this
      http://searchviews.com/archives/fruit...
      Or something closer to this
      http://olegvolk.net/gallery/d/3286-2/...

      1. in punishment, you shall be lashed with a candied orange rind, and forced to surrender your GOOD fruit cake recipe :-) seriously, would love to have it

        3 Replies
        1. re: orangewasabi

          Thanks for the responses....Pikawicca, your MIL's recipe sounds like just the ticket. Except for the Bourbon, it doesn't sound especially appealing, but I suspect the combination of vanilla wafers and milk will give it the Elmer's Glue quality that Hubby enjoys. The recipe sounds like something my dear sweet Arkansas aunties would make...

          Rworange, the second picture is much closer to the actual stuff, especially the lurid-looking fruit. The first picture looks too much like a real food product.

          Orangewasabi, I graciously accept my penance, and will post the family recipe in a few days....

          Thanks!

          1. re: kmr

            I have no stance on fruitcake, but that picture is certainly....

            1. re: kmr

              I do hope you post your fruitcake recipe!

          2. Thanks for the reminder. I made two types this year, the Classic Fruitcake recipe originally from Maida Heatter (it's posted on chowhound, and if I was more tech savvy I would link it). I also made the vanilla wafer version above, and it is so sweet it makes my teeth hurt. My husband likes it!

            This was my grandmother's recipe, and our family enjoys it. It's sort of "comfort-food-fruitcake".

            Into a large bowl, add
            2 cups shelled whole brazil nuts
            1/2 lb. whole pitted dates
            1 1/2 cups whole candied cherries
            1 1/2 cups diced candied pineapple

            Sift together over the fruit and nuts:
            3/4 c. flour
            3/4 c. granulated sugar
            1/2 teas. baking powder
            1/2 teas. salt

            Mix until everything is well coated; beat 3 eggs until foamy, add 1 teas vanilla, and stir into fruit/nuts/dry mix.

            Turn batter into greased and lined 9x5x3 baking pan (greased brown bag is what she used, we now use parchment).
            Bake in a slow oven for 1 hr 45 minutes (300 degrees seems slow!)

            Here's how my g'ma shelled brazil nuts:
            To shell the brazil nuts, put them in a saucepan, cover with water, bring to boil and simmer 3 minutes. Drain and crack.