Host Gifts; What Is The Etiquette?
- NovoCuisine Sep 18, 2006 01:25 AM
My parents held a party last night for 20+ people. I offered my cooking services for it, and as 'payment' I jokingly told them that I was to receive any and all gifts of wine that the guests would bring.
Perhaps it is because I live with my SO of European descent, and frequently attend parties with his European friends; if we are invited to someone's house for a gathering, a gift will be offered to the hosts for their hospitality.
My family is Canadian, as were all the guests at last night's party, and nobody brought a thing.
Contrary to my earlier comment, I frankly didn't expect anything, and was not offended at all when no offerings were made - the bringing of a gift was not something I observed growing up, however seeing it done at the SO's gatherings made me wonder why I hadn't thought to do it before - but it got me thinking about cultural differences in party etiquette.
What are everyone's thoughts on this?
..................I suppose I must digress; one woman -did- bring something: Two pieces of half-eaten cake and an open wine bottle from a wedding she had attended the day before.
Yikes ... I always bring at least a bottle of wine. Attended a dinner party tonite ( just 2 couples) and brought a Volnay and a Chablis plus a unique little serving bowl ( handmade from funny little shoppe ) for hostess. I have never had anyone come to our home without a little something in hand and whatever is brought is appreciated ( I remember one gift of a package of funny cocktail napkins) Don't think on host part it should be expected but as attendee I would never think NOT to bring a thank you remembrance
when i go to a dinner or cocktail party I typically bring a hostess gift (close friends i call ahead to see if they need anything, really close friends i call just before leaving for their party to see if they REALLY need anything) otherwise I bring something small and non food or drink .. when i forget i send them a handwritten thank you note (sometime do this anyway, it's a lost art)& if it was a lavish or particularly lovely party i'll send a tiny gift. it seems bad form to bring food or wine to a party if you intend either to be consummed that evening .. when i give a party i spend a fair amount of time considering how things work with each other i am guessing i'm not alone.
I wouldn't consider going to someone's house for a party and NOT bringing a gift... It would be rude not to bring something!
I always bring something just to show my appreciation.
That said, maybe it's a matter of how close the friends are, or the type of dinner party. If they know your parents well, there might be an unspoken rule thing. I've observed a few unspoken rules among my parents none of which made sense. One thing from that generation (born during the depression era) that I gathered was not wanting to show anyone up, which was just ae impolite then not bringing something.