Incanto, Delfina, Michael Mina, Fleur de Lys or...?
Please help me narrow it down to maybe just two... please! Or, if there is something I'm missing, please add!
We're already going to Ame.
I think Incanto and Delfina are really different experiences than Mina and FdL. Are you looking for a great neighborhood restaurant, bustling and with great food? I'd go Delfina, with Incanto as my second vote. Mina and FdL are more "special occasion" destinations. Delfina's my favorite restaurant in the city, followed by Zuni.
Incanto and Delfina both do California versions of market-driven rustic Italian food. Incanto sticks close to the Italian model throughout the menu, Delfina's secondi (entrees) are more American. Incanto has a much longer, all-Italian wine list; half the wines on Delfina's list are from California.
Michael Mina and Fleur de Lys do California versions of French haute cuisine. I'm not so into that style, but if I wanted that kind of meal, I'd go to the Dining Room at the Ritz (Ron Siegel), Coi (Daniel Patterson), or La Folie (Roland Passot).
I actually loved MM. The evening was wonderful and the dishes incredible - I appreciated the trios. It's a special experience that I would definitely suggest. I don't think you can compare it to Incanto or Delfino though. Everyone in SF loves Delfino and it is quite good and fresh but I think it is a bit over-hyped.