303258 Fri Jun 09 10:30:54 -0700 2006 25 29 Not About Food 0 1704445 So I was at a mid-priced restaurant (with tablecloths and cloth napkins) for lunch which was completely empty except for me and a dining companion at the window of the large dining room. After ordering, we were waiting for our food, when I noticed that my fork was dirty. So, instead of bothering to call out to the waiter who was not in the room at the time, I decided to turn around and just grab the fork from the neighboring table. Just at that moment, the waiter walks in at the far end of the room who noticed me doing this. He promptly takes a fork from the service station and marches clear across the room, to place the missing fork on the neighboring table behind me. Not a word was spoken, and I thought nothing of it. Question is, do you think this was rude of him to do this? Wouldn't a more discreet waiter have replaced the fork at another time than to 'correct' a diner's actions immediately after the fact? Fri Jun 09 10:30:54 -0700 2006 0 Mani 1 1704447 He replaced a fork so that the next table sat would have one. he did so "promptly" to make sure that when that table was sat the new customer would have a fork. You grabbed a fork from the next table; he replaced it. How is that rude? Fri Jun 09 10:40:14 -0700 2006 1704445 0 nc213 2 1704448 I have to agree. I'm not sure why this was rude. You and your dining companion already knew you had replaced your own fork. So when the waiter replaced the fork on the other table, he wasn't revealing anything new. Perhaps your question reflects your uneasiness with your action -- you said he 'corrected' you. I don't think you did anything wrong. Hence, I don't think he was correcting anything, and hence I don't think there is a problem with his indiscretness. If someone was sitting at the other table, and you took his clean fork, that would be rude. :) But I don't think there is anything wrong with grabbing a clean fork from another table if your waiter isn't right there to provide you one himself. Naturally, if the waiter doesn't see you do this, I think it is a good idea to tell the waiter what you've done so he can replace the fork before another person is seated at the other table. Fri Jun 09 10:47:37 -0700 2006 1704447 0 Darren 2 1704449 I agree with the other responses. How can someone doing their job correctly be considered rude? Fri Jun 09 10:49:26 -0700 2006 1704447 0 Alan 1 1704452 In my opinion, your actions were in the wrong. What if they had seated someone at that table not knowing that it was now short a fork? Fri Jun 09 11:41:14 -0700 2006 1704445 0 JB 2 1704455 I see your point, but I disagree: One of the following will happen: 1. She waits for the waiter to come back and then asks him for a new fork. Her food gets cold and her friend is put in the position of waiting also, or eating while she waits. This does not seem like a good idea. 2. She takes another fork and the waiter replaces it before anyone else is seated. No problems here, as far as I see it. 3. She takes another fork and the restaurant seats someone there before the fork is replaced. Perhaps the restuarant is embarrassed that the table is missing a fork, but no more embarrassed than they would have been if the original poster had to wait to eat her food while they replaced her fork! Besides, the fork on the new table will likely be replaced before the food comes on that table. It seems to me that taking the fork from the other table poses the least harm. Fri Jun 09 11:46:37 -0700 2006 1704452 0 Darren 3 1704475 I suspect the waiter wanted to replace the fork while (a) he wasn't busy with other tables, and (b) he was thinking about it. He also may have been a little miffed at the implied criticism (that he was on top of things enough to replace her fork in the first place) and that may have affected his body language and made him seem rude. In this situation (lots of empty tables, so it was unlikely someone was about to be seated at the setting with the missing fork immediately) I think what the poster did was fine. I think the correct thing to do would be to casually say to the waiter the next time you saw him "I needed a clean fork so I just took one from the next table" so he knows to replace it if he hasn't already. Fri Jun 09 17:25:54 -0700 2006 1704455 0 Ruth Lafler 1 1704453 No. Fri Jun 09 11:43:36 -0700 2006 1704445 0 nja 1 1704457 No. He was acting in real time while he remembered that the table was missing a fork. Bonus points to the waiter. Fri Jun 09 12:01:20 -0700 2006 1704445 0 Karl S 2 1704472 maybe....depends on how he "marched," though. It sounds like the waiter did it to show that the customer transgressed. I see no mention of a mental inquiry of why the fork was taken off the table, and no mention of the waiter noticing the dirty fork. You can tell by the way someone goes about it - believe me, waiters can be pissy. Fri Jun 09 17:18:57 -0700 2006 1704457 0 rudeboy 1 1704458 What did you want to have happen? I see two possibilities (other than what actually did happen): 1. The waiter could have waited until you left to put the fork on the other table, in which time another diner could have sat there, also without a fork... at this point you would not have solved the problem, you would merely have made this someone else's problem (which would have been rude). 2. The waiter could have come up to your table and embarrassed you by talking about the missing fork and calling attention to the fact that you took it. This would have embarrassed the waiter (who should have seen the missing fork and brought it to you) and also you (because this tiny incident would have been blown way out of proportion). Instead, the waiter decided to silently correct the issue, thus saving himself -- and you -- face. He probably, in fact, brought the fork over as a pretext for being nearby so that you could get his attention should anything have been incorrect... and yet you're worried about whether the waiter was rude? I hope you didn't ding his tip for this totally imagined slight. Fri Jun 09 12:08:19 -0700 2006 1704445 0 Das Ubergeek 1 1704460 If this ever happens again, my suggestion is to take the salt and pepper shakers when you leave... Fri Jun 09 12:34:36 -0700 2006 1704445 0 Leper 2 1704546 ;} Mon Jun 12 20:47:12 -0700 2006 1704460 0 kiwi 1 1704462 "Not a word was spoken." Why? Then maybe the "march" was intended to tell you someting. So many missing forks at the end of the night. I would have given the server the dirty fork right then and have told him to march it into the kitchen and away from my table. On Wed. night we took Dad out for his birthday -- Lobster. We were the first to be seated at opening time. Our salad was just served when we noticed we were short a fork. No server around so I made the same move as you. Within 30 seconds another party was given the table I took the fork from. So many empty tables and they seat these people right next to us. I could not believe it. So maybe your server was just replacing the fork. Fri Jun 09 13:01:20 -0700 2006 1704445 0 Like-Go-Eat? 1 1704467 I'm sorry, but if you thought nothing of it at the time, why the fuss now? The consensus on the board seems to be the waiter did what he/she felt had to be done for the table, and might well have felt it polite not to call attention to so routine an action. And, finally, even if posters loudly agreed the action was impolite--what do you then do? Go back and complain? For better or worse, you've probably been forgotten there already. Fri Jun 09 14:41:57 -0700 2006 1704445 0 obob96@aol.com 1 1704474 Seems to me, the point is not what the waiter did, but how he did it. When it comes to customer service, it's about how you do your job, not just what you do. Since you remember the "incident" and enough to post it, it sounds like it was the way that waiter made a point of indiscretely replacing the fork. So just because he was doing his job, doesn't mean he wasn't also being rude about it. Fri Jun 09 17:21:26 -0700 2006 1704445 0 slacker 1 1704477 The nerve of that waiter! He should have left that adjoining table minus one fork, thus inconveniencing the next diner at that table. Certainly that would have been preferable to doing something as rash as replacing a missing utensil as soon as he noticed that it was missing. I suggest that you boycott this restaurant in the future because they carried out the distasteful policy that you observed. Fri Jun 09 18:31:03 -0700 2006 1704445 0 JB--The real one 1 1704483 Seriously. This is even a topic? Sat Jun 10 00:21:22 -0700 2006 1704445 0 Morgan 2 1704489 Well it's certainly not the most frivolous topic I've seen posted on the Chowhound board, but it does seem to be the one that's garnered the most intolerant responses. In a completely empty restaurant, there is little reason for the waiter to immediately replace the fork when he could easily wait until the next time he visits his one and only table. If he did so in a pointed manner it is certainly rude. If he did it fairly unobtrusively as the original post suggest, then it is not rude but provides a good teachable moment for servers. To avoid appearing judgemental correct this silverware emergency when you return with the water pitcher. Or do it right away but bring the wather pitcher with you. It's easy to pick at other's concerns or post an extreme reaction to a calmly worded question. Why not just pass the thread by if you think it foolish? Sat Jun 10 11:51:50 -0700 2006 1704483 0 BeeBee 1 1704491 And he was not hanged after a flogging? Never visit there again and I recommend fire bombing the store. Get a slightly better perspective. Thee guy was a jerk then stiff him on the tip. Sat Jun 10 11:58:04 -0700 2006 1704445 0 michael b 1 1704500 A lot of restaurants make their wait staff do side work and also do spot checks of the side work. Perhaps he was concerned the manager would see a fork was missing and not replaced. Sat Jun 10 15:21:15 -0700 2006 1704445 0 Tracy L. 1 1704509 I'm a waiter, I would have done exactly what the waiter did. I see something that needs to be taken care of, I will take care of it right at that very moment. If I don't, I'll forget and then someone will get sat at a table missing a fork. Link: http://thecosmicjester.blogspot.com Sun Jun 11 05:57:41 -0700 2006 1704445 0 JK Grence (the Cosmic Jester) 1 1704525 I think you were out of bounds by taking the fork. If you needed another napkin, would you've just jerked one off the neighboring table too? Why didn't you just ask the waiter for a new fork? Mon Jun 12 10:46:46 -0700 2006 1704445 0 Scagnetti 1 1704526 For me, this has turned into an interesting thread because of the variety of responses received. You asked a simple question and look what happened! Okay here's my take on it. You'll never know if the waiter was being impolite or not. You say he "marches clear across the room" to replace the fork so that body language to me sounds like he's a little miffed but maybe he's upset with the dishwasher or busboy for leaving a dirty fork on the table. My question is why are you giving the waiter so much power to affect your lunch with a friend? Since the room was empty and your food hadn't arrived yet, maybe the best thing would have been to just wait until the waiter came back to your table and ask him for another fork but who really thinks about these things ahead of time? I probably would have done the same thing but since it was a 'tablecloth and cloth napkins' type of restaurant, the waiter probably should have replaced the fork for you. But hey - in the realm of things, nobody was hurt. I say let it go. Mon Jun 12 11:04:53 -0700 2006 1704445 0 Flynn 1 1704528 I don't really know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was just to piss me off. Mon Jun 12 11:20:40 -0700 2006 1704445 0 Ellen 1 1704782 If the waiter had said something to you about it, or even made direct eye contact with you - like to "give you a look" it would be rude. But, I've worked a lot in restauurants and a basic rule is to never put off fixing something until later, because things may speed up and you won't have time or you'll forget, or somebody will sit down at the missing-fork table and hold THAT against the waiter. A good waiter can do many things at once and has a habit of just fixing what needs fixing on the fly. they just don't have time to think, oh well - I'll fix that later. "later" may not come because there are ten other things you have to do first. Fri Jun 16 15:53:45 -0700 2006 1704445 0 Niki Rothman