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Correct type of pie for a face

  • j

If you were planning a pie in the face surprise for a friend, what type, flavor would you choose?

I am leaning toward crumb crust with custard and whipped cream. I feel it would have the correct texture, trajectory potential.

Any help or thoughts? Is this mean?

peace, jill

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  1. Not "mean" by any means.

    Hilarious. I love it.

    "a pie in the face surprise for a friend" isn't something you can plan. It's gotta be spontaneous.

    1. I think a pastry crust would be easier on your friend, larger pieces, easier to remove, less chance of crumbs in the eyes....Also, when one is using a pie strictly for throwing purposes, doesn't one just fill the shell with whipped cream, and aim? I mean, why waste that effort????

      1. "Any help or thoughts? Is this mean?"

        It's hostile.

        1. I think the best way to answer this question for yourself is to imagine your very own face graced with whatever pie you have in mind. BTW, most on-camera face-pieings are actually done with an aluminum pie pan filled with shaving cream. Yum, huh?

          1. If you think the recipient will find it funny, then it's not mean. It's only mean if you think it might hurt or embarrass the target.

            Practical considerations:

            1) Don't use a real pie. It would be a real waste of a delicious homemade confection. Why not use a prop pie, see below, and bake a real pie to serve afterwards?

            2) I would go with an aluminum pie plate filled with whipped-cream-in-a-can. Fill the pie really full for maximum splattering drama. It tastes good, it looks dramatic, and it's not going to sting the victim's eyes.

            3) The final reason not to use a real pie is that part of the "visual" is seeing it stick to the target's face. A real pie might just slide off, whereas whipped cream will splatter and stick for better Polaroids.

            1 Reply
            1. re: Lindsay B.

              Yes, I always coat my Polaroids with whipped cream...

            2. I guess this pie is for a "friend" you want to lose. I can't imagine that this friend would think benignly of you after the pie toss in his/her face.

              1. Having been pied on more than one occasion, I vote unhesitatingly for a cream pie, heavy on the whipped cream. The biggest problem with a fruit pie isn't the relative hardness of the fruit, but the sting when ingredient gets into the eyes of the pied.

                Just a crust and whipped cream works well, but custard or banana or chocolate add to the visual aesthetics.

                1. Hmmm. Mr. Feldman, you state you've been pied more than once. Others have reservations about it being hostile action. Your comments on that?

                  I can speak from the side of doing the pie throwing. It was not to a friend. One of those temp jobs you take when you are young. An agency with novelty greetings. Well, I delivered pies. In the face of the target of the purchasers choice. I think the service was provided only once.

                  A huge mound of spray can whip cream into a styofoam plate is the least lethal and easiest to clean up. If you want it to be a bit messier, I guess cream pie like Dave and couple others said. And, I also recommend not actually throwing it. You kind of dump it on your intended. If you do it in one quick smooth action you should be successful. (I trained and strategized delivery. It was in a public place, to someone I had never seen before. Felt like a hit man. Actually left me afraid over how easy making a "hit" could be.)

                  Remember all that 3 stooges type throwing is being done with people prepared for it and it was a chunk of pie with out the plate or tin. When whole pies were applied they were usually pressed onto the person's face. All that took a lot of cooperation to do without the intended getting harmed.

                  And, by the way, if bunch of discussion about this subject springs up, I think it should really be on the Not About Food board, don't you.


                  3 Replies
                  1. re: wrayb

                    Wow, a real pie launching pro. You and your peers must comprise a very small percentage of the population. I am honored!

                    peace, jill

                    1. re: wrayb

                      I've only been pied by [so-called?] friends, and all but once, when I was on the air at my college radio station. Luckily, I was hit by one of my faves, banana cream pie. I had a long beard at the time, which allowed me to have a time-release snack on my long radio show. I don't remember being angry at the time, but in retrospect, I was as dumb as a post.

                      I'm pretty sure Soupy Sales, a childhood idol, used whipped-cream only pies.

                      You've had some weird jobs, wray.

                      1. re: wrayb

                        I was never pied by a paid assasin, only by [so-called?] friends. I don't remember viewing the pieing as a hostile act, although I have sympathy for arresting those guerilla theater types for pieing political officials.

                        Two of the three times I've been pied, I was on the air at my college radio station. I had a long beard at the time time, so that provided a means for a time-release snack. At least my attackers had some empathy for this Chowhound -- they pied with banana cream, one of my faves.

                      2. s
                        Stanley Stephan AKA Filo Kvetch AKA Still a Soupy fan

                        Chicken pot

                        But seriously, have you thought this through?

                        What is you aim, so to speak, deliciousness or visuals.

                        If it is taste, find out what what your friend favors.

                        If it is visuals, then shaving cream works best (Ask Soupy Sales who took over 20,000 pies in the face. It splatters the best.

                        Also, you must consider location. If you do this in someone's home then the issue of clean up must be considered. Again, shaving cream is the easiest to clean.

                        Factor in dry cleaning costs and plan your attack when your victim, uh friend, isn't wearing silk, casmere or Armani. Having your friend drag you to small claims court can so take the fun out of the occasion.

                        Along this line, CRUST ONLY !!!. NO PIE TINS. See small claims court above. Consider felony charges. Again, defering to the master, Mr. Sales, a plain pastery crust is the best. It holds together without crumbling, is easiest to toss and breaks apart with the best visual.

                        The one disadvantage of shaving cream is that if the receiver doesn't close their eyes, it might sting.

                        What about the attack?
                        A single classic pie in the face?
                        A follow up with a second pie on top of the head?
                        My personal favorite follow-up, two pies at the same time on each side of the face?

                        Things to avoid. Toss and retreat. A clever recipient will hug you and follow that up with a huge cream covered face kiss, compelled by the urge to share the pie with you.

                        Know the recipient. Can you spell L A W S U I T ?

                        For more information and advice on the subject, Soupy Sez, "go to Daddy's wallet and get those little green pieces of paper with pictures of George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, Lincoln, and Jefferson on them, send them to me, and I'll send you a postcard from Puerto Rico"

                        Uh, I mean more information.

                        And, if you take advantage of this offer in the next 30 minutes, you will receive the bonus gift of many of Soupy's words of wisdom, including, but not limited to:

                        "If you can't make both ends meet...make one end vegetable!"

                        "Show me marks on the bottom of the ocean.....
                        and I'll show you the "Prince of Wales".

                        Link: http://www.pieintheface.org/throw.html

                        Image: http://www.detnews.com/history/tvhist...

                        1 Reply
                        1. re: Stanley Stephan AKA Filo Kvetch AKA Still a Soupy fan

                          Well, the cream pie was the ticket. The crumb crust was so well pressed in the pan that it stayed and the hand whipped cream "creamed' beautifully.

                          My friend was surprised, not angry, and of course smeared me! The floor was wooden and easily cleaned. What fun!!! He loved it and so did I.

                          peace, jill

                          1. Is this your plan for how to celebrate my birthday this weekend, Jill??