Kosher Cognitive Dissonance
We know several people who keep kosher at home and eat treyf in restaurants (we're talkin spare ribs, clams, cheeseburgers). My husband sees nothing unusual about this practice, but it strikes me that if you go to all that trouble to keep your house treyf-free with the separate dishes and everything, why eat treyf anywhere at all? Hope this question isn't offensive to anyone--I'm just curious how widespread chowhounds think this is.
The best reason that I've heard for this is that although "I" don't choose to keep strictly kosher, I want anyone to feel comfortable eating in "my" home.
Friends of mine keep a kosher home for the benefit of the wife's parents. If the home were not kosher it would be much more difficult for them to visit.
My husband never kept kosher before we got married, so now we have a kosher kitchen and he eats nonkosher out. I know many, many people who keep a glatt kosher kitchen but eat nonkosher vegetarian out (including nonkosher cheese), most are affiliated with conservative or modern orthodox synagogues.
First I would like to clear up something that I beleive is a misconception. There is an expression that goes, - "Is you is or is you ain't my baby?" Are you or are not you not kosher - that is the question.
Even though the house is refered to as the "woman's house," I know a lot of people, including myself that would not eat in your house as your husband has shown his lack of concern for full compliance. Kashrut isn't a part time adherence it is a full time adherence. Like being true to you, his wife.
The conservative movement used domestic wines till a friend of mine blew the whistle that there was "bull's blood" utilized to darken and enhance the wine. They still use domestic wines. Picking and choosing is not what we as a people are all about. We have the Torah as our guide.
Hoping that in the future your husband will find that the Torah way is the right way - the ONLY way.
The practice may have a few origins (all of which are pure conjecture).
1. Parents may have kept kosher and kids did not want to offend parents.
2. It was too hard for the children to give up the traditions they saw at their parents homes.
3. Having a actively jewish HOME is important to many people and keeping kosher is a very day to day way of doing that. (I'm not saying there are not other ways of expressing Jewishness)