Embarrassing Restaurant Moments.
While thinking about the barbecue topic posted earlier, I was reminded of an incident that happened to me a number of years ago. I was having dinner with a group of friends at a large popular barbecue restaurant in Austin TX, and the conversation became rather animated. I began waving my hands around to emphasize a point when a beef rib approximately the size of a Louisville Slugger slipped out of my fingers and assumed a flight trajectory which took it almost completely across the room, eventually coming to a crash landing in the middle of another party's table. Naturally everyone in the restaurant (including me and my companions - we're no dummies) immediately began looking around in amazement to see where this meaty missile might have originated. Unfortunately, the jig was up when my "friends" then fell off their chairs and wet themselves in laughter.
Anyone else? (Contributions with risque content will be worth extra credit).
Not super embarrassing but just last week after we left Abe & Louie's my friend goes "Joanie, what's that on your pants?" It was a nice chocolate stain on my brand new white pants. Must have been on the seat before I sat down. Not that any of those guys were checking out my ass, but I wonder how much I walked around with that before we noticed it. Then there was the time when we were much younger and did a chew and screw after the clubs in Chinatown and got caught.
Ah, not risque but once my wife, son and I were out for a meal at a relatively nice Mexican restaraunt in Omaha -- candle on the table, chips, the usual. As I'm cheerfully pecking away at the chips and talking to my wife, she gets this terrified strange look. Suddenly I notice I've managed to nudge the chip basket a little too close to the candle and the napkin liner on the basket has now burst into flame and we have the makings of a small bonfire in the center of the table. Fortunately, the waiter -- with a cloth towel -- was close at hand and managed to smother thing before we really had time to panic.
David "Zeb" Cook
re: David "Zeb" Cook
On a visit to Fall River, I went with my parents and uncle to a "Chinese" restaurant they all used to frequent. My parents live in Florida, and although my uncle is still a local, he hadn't eaten there for some time. We ordered the poo poo platter which, in days gone by (possibly under previous management), used to be set aflame by the waiter tableside. After a while, the waiter brought the tiered platter to the table, but the top tier wasn't lit. My uncle, believing the waiter simply forgot to light it, took out his lighter and set the shrimp chips on fire.
If you've never lit shrimp chips, I can tell you two things-- they smell awful and the flames quickly reach three feet high.
Anytime I'm out with my father. He's at the age where he will say anything anytime to any1, no holds barred. He once asked a waitress to put the chardonnay in the freezer and when she came back he noticed that she had in fact been in the freezer due to her sheer bra being rather revealing. Of course, he left her a rather big tip for showing hers (ahem). Then theres the time he complained about the fatty lamb chops and the chef came out and explained that fat is what makes the flavor of lamb so distinct and that they don't over-trim the lamb. At that moment a very (VERY) (YOWZA) enticing waitress leans over the table to clear and dear old dad is mesmerized by her rather ominous cleavage and supple, taut physique . He looks up at the chef and says, "whatever, just don't trim those babies, serve 'em up just the way they are". Something about waitresses and breasts; my dad just seems to be in the right place at the wrong time. We only allow him 1 martini!!!! Oh beeeehave!!!
I'm sorry this isn't an embarrassing moment, but your Austin story reminded me of one time when I was eating at a Mexican restaurant on Barton Springs Road there. About 6 of us were on the patio sitting under an umbrella. The tables were very close together around a concrete water fountain. I remember there being lots and lots of pink. So, this waiter comes out of the restaurant bearing this HUGE tray of food on his shoulder, our food. As he made his way to us, someone in his path decided to get up from their table. The waiter tripped. A long struggle to recover ensued. He swayed this way and that, the tray tilting like carnival ride. It seemed like an eternity. Miraculously, he put the huge tray down on our table with a thud, plates jumped but no food was lost. When the tray hit the table, the impact forced a bright pink tortilla warmer to fly off the tray right into the fountain. PLOP! The restaurant burst into applause, many standing in ovation.